With the advent of online dating, it has become much easier for men and women who are looking for casual, non-committal sex to hook up—but not all intentions of both parties are clear from the start. A large number of amoral men prey on unsuspecting women who may simply be looking for an emotional relationship through dating apps. Here are 5 signs of how men manipulate women to look out for – so you’ll know if a man could be manipulating you into having sex with him.

He’ll tell you a sob story

Women are undoubtedly the more sensitive and emotional sex. We’re wired from young to feel more, sense more, and empathise more with others. In comes Jacob, the guy who tells you he’s not looking for anything but friendship and a listening ear. He pours his heart out to you and tells you the story of how his ex-girlfriend of three years cheated on him, tapping into your softer side.

Because his story elicits a sympathy in you, you’ll want to comfort him and be there for him. He asks you over to his place to “hang out” and you agree—you feel close to him on a level that’s not quite platonic anymore. At this point, it’s easy to let your guard down. After all, how dangerous could such a vulnerable man be? Chances are, when you connect with a man on an emotionally precarious level, your body will be more obliged to his ways of physical seduction.

He’ll use the carrot-and-stick approach

One moment he’s into you, the next he’s not. He tells you you’re not like any of the other girls he’s talked to, and then ghosts on you for the next two days. You get frustrated trying to interpret his feelings for you. After all, if he really does like you, why would he keep giving you mixed signals?

How some men manipulate women into sleeping with them is by using the carrot-and-stick approach, giving a woman the attention and affection she wants to get sex from her, and then pulling away once he’s gotten into her pants. He dangles the carrot right in front of you and makes you believe that you can almost have it, but never fully gives you what you truly desire. And in many instances, you’re far too emotionally invested in him to see that he’s just using you for his own sexual fulfilment.

He’ll try to make you feel insecure

Most people struggle with insecurity at some point in their lives. For some women, this carries on from adolescence into adulthood. Some men understand this, and use it to their advantage. If your self-esteem isn’t high, it won’t take much for a man to prod at your deepest insecurities and make you feel bad about yourself. This could manifest itself in the form of him bragging about his looks or by pointing out things that you don’t like about yourself.

Women who are insecure are prone to being manipulated by men who make them feel like they’re doing her a favour by simply talking to or spending time with her. Once he’s succeeded in making you feel inadequate, he knows that you’d do anything to gain his favour because your self-esteem depends on it—even if it means being manipulated into sex with him to gain self-validation. Ladies, always remember that nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.

Also read:

Why I Only Dated ACSI Elite School Boys In Singapore Till I Turned 22

He’ll try to make you feel jealous

Some men who are more skilled at sexual manipulation don’t directly confront a woman about her insecurities, because that might cause her to react defensively. A more skilled way of manipulation would be to use a third-party puppet that a woman would subconsciously compare herself with, and then feel bad about. Yes ladies, I’m talking about him making you feel jealous; arguably the most powerful and irrational emotion any man can make a woman feel.

A woman who’s unaware of how to handle her jealousy may resort to extreme measures such as sleeping with a man just to exert her stake on him over another (quite possibly) fictional woman. This is no way to treat a woman, but many females fall for such bad-boy antics because of how unattainable the man seems to be.

He’ll use alcohol

You’re out on a date with a charming young man and he keeps offering you alcohol. The conversation’s great and both of you are having fun. You don’t want to ruin the mood by declining his offers although you know your alcohol tolerance isn’t fantastic. He agrees to send you home afterwards so you needn’t worry about getting drunk. You both get home and before you know it, you’re rolling in the sheets with him—a deed you wouldn’t have agreed to if not for the alcohol.

Stop Being Manipulated

With the growth of local pick-up communities and web articles teaching men how to manipulate a girl and how to get women to sleep with them, it’s imperative that women learn how to identify signs that a man’s just using them for manipulative sex. When you’re all wrapped up in the moment, you may not be thinking straight, no matter how much you think you’ve got it all figured out. Caution and awareness are key—guard your heart, mind, and body. If sex isn’t what you’re looking for, stay alert, and don’t be afraid to say no.

This article was first published on 7 February 2017 and last updated on 10 November 2023. 

Also read:

I Dated A 40-Year-Old Sugar Daddy From A Dating App When I Was 18

The post 5 Shady Methods He’ll Use To Manipulate You To Have Sex appeared first on ZULA.sg.

When I was in primary school, I took to Disney movies with good-looking princes and princesses who fell in love and lived happily ever after. I grew enamoured with charming protagonists in chick flicks who—after countless obstacles—ended up with the man of their dreams.

Compounded by the books and Korean dramas I consumed as a teenager, I was very much a hopeless romantic.

While I never openly discussed these feelings with my friends, I often fantasised about the person I would fall for and eventually marry.

The bucket list I drafted when I was 18, detailing some of the things I wanted to experience in my lifetime

Since then, I’ve had multiple crushes, numerous heartbreaks and am now in an ongoing relationship—all in the hopes of finding ‘the One’ to spend the rest of my life with.

As a result of these experiences, many of the romantic ideals I had previously clung to fiercely, started to mellow over the years.

The younger me would have wanted an elaborate wedding in a Roman Cathedral, a sparkly white gown, gorgeous décor and hundreds of guests. However, the me now questions if that’s truly necessary.

While I’ve not entirely given up on the fantasy of a fairytale ending, I’ve come to realise that there’s more than one way to get married.

I’d rather spend on the honeymoon and home

Weddings in Singapore aren’t a cheap affair, especially when it’s often viewed as a measure of one’s affluence and standing in life.

For middle-class Chinese Singaporeans, it’s almost a given for wedding banquets to be held at a hotel or high-end restaurant.

The average cost can range between $30,000 to $50,000, with extravagant ceremonies scaling over $100,000.

This doesn’t include other expenses such as the price of the bridal package, wedding bands and wedding photography, adding up to thousands more.

As a millennial who’s likely to be stuck with an entry-level income for the next few years, this is an exorbitant sum I’d rather forfeit.

While I’m certain my parents would be more than willing to chip in for the wedding, I’d rather spend the money on my honeymoon or home renovations.

Weddings aren’t only for the couple

While some might love being able to walk down the aisle and have googly-eyed friends and extended family gawk at them, I’d prefer to have a more intimate celebration with my immediate family and a few close friends.

Both my partner and I are introverts. The thought of attending a large-scale social event with guests we barely know makes us uncomfortable.

It’s also in my personality to overthink. A wedding would cause me to over-analyse anything and everything—from the photographer and music played, right down to the flavour of cake I’d have.

Stressing over even the tiniest detail out of place could possibly occur and take the enjoyment out of my special day immensely.

Also read:

Photographer For A Marriage Proposal — 7 Girls Share Why They’re For Or Against Having One

Respect for the older generation

More than just a popular tradition or rite of passage, weddings aren’t just a celebration of two people who have chosen to love and commit to each other for life.

Many couples in Singapore choose to have a wedding out of respect for their elders. As such, many decisions made about the wedding would be made in their consideration, from the tea ceremony style to the amount of dowry.

As much as I love my family, I don’t fancy the idea of having to invite people out of obligation. Neither do I want to have to worry about the people who may feel slighted if they don’t receive an invitation.

Having overheard all the buzz and chatter at wedding receptions I’ve attended, no matter how beautiful the wedding, tongues may wag.

If you look fat in your dress or if you don’t have the right menu options, you could be judged by the attendees. The thought of being the subject of all this unwanted talk makes me shudder.

Marriage takes place in the heart

Source

Though a wedding is a wonderful, memorable, once-in-a-lifetime experience for most, it’s not a prerequisite to marriage.

As quoted by Barbara De Angelis, “The real act of marriage takes place in the heart, not in the ballroom or church or synagogue.”

“It’s a choice you make not just on your wedding day, but over and over again—and that choice is reflected in the way you treat your husband or wife.”

At the end of the day, if you prefer a grand ceremony, go for it. Ultimately, what determines the success of a marriage is commitment, love, forgiveness, trust and mutual support, among a host of other things.

This post was first published on 29 August 2017 and last updated on 29 September 2023.
Cover image: Source

Also read: 

5 Married SG Couples Share How Giving Their First Date A Second Shot Led To Marriage

The post The BTO Talk: Why A Pricey, Huge Wedding Ceremony Isn’t For Me appeared first on ZULA.sg.

In between mugging for endless tests and dealing with friendship drama, school is where we made some of our best memories along with our best friends.

From fun-filled CCA sessions to stern discipline masters, would you change anything about the education system if you were given a do-over?

We asked 7 Singaporean girls to share their schooling experiences and what they hope our local education system could improve on.

1. “I wish more financial help could be given to low-income students.”

When I was schooling, I gave free tuition to lower-income students and noticed many of them struggled with their studies.

Unlike their better-off peers, these students could not afford professional tutors who gave them tips on how to score during exams. In school, large class sizes meant teachers weren’t able to pay them more attention.

As a result, these children often got left behind because they weren’t given the same competitive advantages.

For a country with a world-class education system, I sincerely hope MOE would provide better alternatives so every child is given an equal opportunity to excel.
Jeraldine, 26

2. “I wish the system would be more forgiving of late bloomers.”

One afternoon after my Masters’ class in NTU, I was picked up by a mum who drove Grab part-time. She expressed concerns about her daughter’s PSLE grades and her ability to get into a ‘good school’.

I told her I came from a neighbourhood school and only got into University because of a professor’s recommendation. I also mentioned how last year’s valedictorian was a late bloomer who scored 198 for his PSLE and went on to Oxford for graduate studies.

“Maybe the arts work differently”, she shrugged. I know too many parents like her and wish they would be forgiving of children who don’t show immediate academic potential.

All things take time and we should all be kinder to those who are slower to ‘bloom’.
Charlene, 25

3. “I wish schools would encourage more problem-solving”

Ethrisha (far right) with her project mates

During my time at LASELLE, our modules were structured according to what we preferred to learn.

I chose to work on the theme of inclusive fashion for my graduation project and applied what I learnt about tactile and thermal comfort to create aesthetic, functional clothes for women with disabilities.

The project was one of my proudest moments, and I appreciated the freedom I was given to explore my own studio practices.

Ultimately, education is a way to better oneself and our society. I hope the local education system will continually encourage such independent and innovative projects.
Ethrisha, 23

4. “I yearn for a more integrated, inclusive society.”

Nana (middle) with her brother and sisters during Hari Raya

When I was in secondary school, I noticed how Express kids wouldn’t mix with students from Normal (Tech) or Normal (Acad) and vice versa. I’ve even met classmates whose parents forbade them from being friends with those who didn’t excel academically.

Similarly, students weren’t kind to those who suffered from special needs. My autistic brother would be constantly made fun off by the other kids.

I suppose these judgmental attitudes stemmed from their ignorance towards differences. Schools could bridge this gap by creating programmes for students of different backgrounds to socialise with each other.

My hope is for mainstream and elite schools to become more integrated, and a kinder, more inclusive society.
Nana, 24

5. “I hope for teachers to treat students with love, empathy, and respect.”

In Junior College, my form teacher would single me out during morning assembly for subject consultations. If I didn’t know the answer to a question, she’d shout, “Why don’t you know this? You’re supposed to know this!”

Once, she confiscated my laptop without informing me. I spent hours panicking over my missing laptop, only to have her tell me she took it as “punishment for not paying attention”.

She picked on me because I fared poorly in class. Like many teachers in my school, she valued her students’ academic results more than their mental and emotional well-being.

After this experience, I only wish teachers would treat their students with more love, empathy, and respect.
Melanie, 23

6. “I hope failure will become accepted as part of learning.”

Karen during her graduation photoshoot at Yale-NUS

Personally, I know few Singaporean parents who would be proud of a child who only gets mediocre grades despite trying their best. And I know how many young Singaporeans feel ‘worthy’ of their parents’ love only when they do well academically.

Two weeks after graduation, I took a teaching position at an enrichment centre for English and creative writing, hoping to make a change.

I want to have a part in transforming our grades-obsessed culture into one where failure is acknowledged as part of learning.

Most of all, I want young Singaporeans to know they each possess infinite value, and numbers on a paper don’t define their worth.
Karen, 24

7. “I hope Singapore will place more emphasis on the Arts in the future.”

Beatrice (middle) and her JC friends attending an outdoor play at Fort Canning Park

When I was younger, I used to think my grades defined my worth. It didn’t help I was in the Arts stream and those who were in the Science stream were touted as ‘smarter’.

Having since graduated from University with an Arts degree, I’ve realised society is ever changing and it’s more important to be adaptable.

I hope the education system will promote more literature and art festivals, and have students attend musicals and plays. After all, the Arts encourages students to be more empathetic, and prevents people from turning into ‘robots’.
Beatrice, 23

Hopes For Education System

What we learn and who we meet during our time in school is integral in shaping us into the people we are today. Hopefully, the next generation of parents, teachers, and students will work together to create a kinder, more inclusive studying environment.

The post 7 Singaporean Girls Share Their Hopes For Our Education System appeared first on ZULA.sg.

When we think of the nice things our friends have done for us, we’d question whether or not we’ve received gifts and expensive treats from them.

However, we often forget that simple, everyday gestures like standing up for a friend or buying someone dinner work wonders as well.

From making a care package to buying an entirely new wardrobe, these 7 Singaporean guys share with us the sweetest things a girl has ever done for them.

1. Supported me throughout our long distance relationship

My wife and I had been dating for a year and a half when I decided to go on exchange. Those six months were tough on her because I wasn’t there to support her physically and emotionally.

Despite this, she still paid for my flight tickets and accommodation when I travelled to certain destinations in Europe and made sure that I enjoyed myself.

For my birthday that year, she also bought me a GoPro camera because she wanted me to be able to record my adventures.

We officially tied the knot in December last year, and even till today, I wonder how I managed to find such a wonderful woman.
Jahafar, 27

2. Bought me an entirely new wardrobe

One time, my friend told me she was shopping for new clothes for her brother’s birthday. To gauge the right fit, she said she needed me as a ‘clothes model’ because I was roughly the same size as him.

Being the unsuspecting person I was, I went along with her and tried on everything she picked out.

However, at the end of our shopping spree, she handed me the bag of brand new apparel and told me to “stop dressing so sloppily”. Turns out, she had tricked me into choosing my own new outfits to wear.
Andrew, 23

3. Threw me a surprise birthday party

Last year, my wife threw me a surprise birthday party. She booked my favourite restaurant and invited all my friends.

Since some of my friends had birthdays near mine, she included all of them in and made the party a joint celebration.

As if she couldn’t get any sweeter, she had customised cupcakes made in place of a birthday cake, with edible images of me and my friends printed on them.
Sid, 34

4. Bought me 10 different types of cakes for my birthday

I have a sweet tooth and a particular weakness for both baking and eating cakes.

One time, I tweeted about my cake cravings and my best friend surprised me on my birthday with ten types of cakes from different bakeries.

After she saw my tweet, she researched on where to find the best cakes in Singapore and travelled all over the country just to buy them.

It touched me even more when she had to carry the cakes from one shop to another via public transport on a hot day.
Yong Ler, 23

5. Bought me a nice dinner when I had financial difficulties

In my first year at Millenia Institute, my family went through a rough financial patch and I didn’t always have enough pocket money to eat.

One day, my good friend had a crab craving and asked me to join her for dinner as she knew I loved crabs. However, I turned her down as the restaurant she had chosen was out of my budget.

In the end, I agreed to join her and decided to save a little more to afford that meal. Her company alone, together with good food, made it the best meal I had in a long time.

When the cheque came, she settled the bill and refused my money when I tried to pay my half. Laughing, she said: “Don’t be silly, what are friends for?”
Zulhaqem, 25

6. Surprised me at the Beijing airport at 1.00am

When I was on exchange, I flew to Beijing on a night flight alone. Prior to the flight, I was texting a friend who was studying at Peking University. We figured we could meet for drinks since we were in the same city.

When I landed in Beijing at 1.00am, I heard a familiar voice call my name at the Arrival gate. I turned around and was shocked to see her waving at me.

Turns out, she had travelled for almost two hours from her university to get to the airport, straight after her school CCA activities ended.

Over the next few days, she brought me around Beijing to try her favourite bar and caught up over drinks. For her to go out of her way to make me feel welcome in a foreign city was really sweet!
Junxian, 26

7. Gave me a care package to alleviate work stress

A few months ago, I transitioned from working for an SME to a much larger, corporate firm. The learning curve was extremely steep and I was struggling to make sense of everything that was going on at work.

My girlfriend, who knew I was stressed out, decided to draw me some cards with cute captions and lyrics from some of our favourite songs. After which, she placed them together in a care package with some food and plushies.

I’m not one to sentimentalise pricey gifts so it was really sweet of her to encourage me with gifts that had a personal touch!
Jason, 25

Love comes in many forms

While extravagant gestures may touch the hearts of some, little things can add up and leave an impression that’ll last for a long time.

Related: Singaporean Girls Reveal The Sweetest Thing A Guy Has Done For Them

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If you could change anything about your physical appearance, what would it be? Would you wish for longer legs or a slimmer waist? A fuller bust or leaner arms?

Most Singaporean women struggle with bodily insecurities at some point in their lives and would like to ‘fix’ at least one thing about themselves.

If you’ve ever felt insecure about how you look, you’re not alone. We spoke to these Singaporean girls about their experience dealing with body image issues and got them to share their honest opinions.

*Some names have been changed to protect identities

Used humour as a defence mechanism

The people who helped me love myself and gain confidence (Sarah is in the middle)

I began to struggle with my appearance in Primary school. The popular girls tended to be pretty and skinny; I was morbidly obese and didn’t quite fit in. I suppose that’s when I started to relate success, happiness and a wide social circle with good looks.

From a young age, I was constantly told to lose weight and to “dress for my size”. It didn’t help that I was half-Chinese, and was measured against the Chinese stereotype of being skinny with straight hair. I adopted an exaggerated personality, being crass and humorous to distract people from my size—I didn’t want people to know me as “that fat girl”.

Things got worse when I entered my teenage years and the media started to have a greater influence on how I viewed myself. I began to beat myself up and repeat the words “ugly”, “worthless”, and “unwanted” in my head. I tried to diet and exercise, but it never lasted long enough to make a difference.

I confided in my friends about these issues. However, I felt they could never fully understand my pain because they didn’t look like me. They’d tell me things like “You’re not fat! You’re beautiful!”. But I knew they were lying and were just being nice.

Now that I’m older and more mature, I’ve learnt to accept that beauty doesn’t come in one shape or size. I’ve learnt not to hide the way I look and to not depend on others for validation.
Sarah, 24

Binge ate, purged, and starved to lose weight

When I was fifteen, I began to develop a negative view of myself. It was due to the combination of my perfectionist tendencies, low self-esteem, and a personality which swung between extremes.

I felt a need to keep my weight down. It led me to binge-eating, purging, and starving myself. I constantly over-exercised, spending a ton of money on food and diet pills. Going through these episodes left me depressed, lonely and unable to focus on my studies. It didn’t help that I had uncontrollable mood swings and crying spells.

Most people couldn’t tell I had a problem. They thought I was turning into a health junkie when I started becoming slimmer and fitter. Even if they doubted anything, they never brought it up.

Eventually, the emotional pain I was experiencing forced me to seek professional help. I went for hypnotherapy, psychotherapy, detox retreats and yoga.

I think yoga helped me the most as it gave me a sense of calm. Guiding me toward internal awareness and peace, it helped me reconnect with myself.

My then boyfriend also played a large part in my recovery, providing me with a listening ear whenever I needed to vent.

I wish there wasn’t such stigma associated with seeking professional help. People don’t realise how body image problems often stem from self-hate and insecurity. That’s why self-harm, substance abuse and depression often accompany eating disorders.

What we need is empathy and support for recovery, not the judgment of our unhealthy coping mechanisms. But I believe with the growing awareness of the importance of mental health, things are beginning to look up.
Lishan, 24

Friends called me “skinny bitch”

I started having body image issues in my teens because I was always on the skinnier side. Many of my friends accused me of being anorexic because I don’t gain weight easily. They discouraged me from exercising because they assumed I was trying to lose weight.

At one point, I constantly binge ate in an attempt to put on weight. I thought I could binge my way into achieving body satisfaction.

I felt I couldn’t speak out about my body image issues because I had a ‘good problem’—I wasn’t fat, I was thin. My friends called me “skinny bitch” as though it was a compliment. They didn’t realise how much the name affected me. I felt that I couldn’t confide in them because if I tried to talk about my issues, they would’ve told me to shut up.

Over the years, I’ve learnt that as long as you’re healthy and happy, that’s all that matters. Everyone should learn to love their body shape and size as it is.
Aiswarya, 23

Lost 35kg through an unhealthy regime

I began feeling dissatisfied about my body since kindergarten. Because I was bigger than other children, adults constantly commented on my size. Even when I was at my skinniest, my broad shoulders made me stand out.

Though I was on the heavy side, I was an active child. Until the age of twelve, I took swimming lessons and attained a Gold certificate. However, people continued to make disparaging remarks about my body.

My classmates, doctors, and extended family were my biggest critiques. During a health check up, one doctor actually handed me a skipping rope and told me to demonstrate how I used it. She didn’t believe me when I told her I exercised frequently.

Three years ago, I reached a breaking point as I was desperate to lose weight. I started doing High-Intensity Interval Training (HIIT) six to seven days a week without rest while eating little to nothing. I had two apples a day and lost 35kg.

However, I was still unhappy. I was constantly sore from the exercise and tired from the lack of food. But people were complimenting my weight loss and asking me how much more weight I was going to lose. To them, I was still fat, even though my BMI was in the healthy range.

Eventually, I realised how toxic my habits were and stopped—I was living more healthily when I weighed more.

To other girls struggling with body image issues, know that a healthy body isn’t necessarily a skinny body. Also, never believe those who say they come from a place of love when they throw shade at your appearance. Those who love you will never tear you down.
Atifa, 25

I was known as the “bamboo pole”

Since kindergarten, my relatives and immediate family members would compare me to my cousins who were a lot more attractive. I was a scrawny kid and had many moles on my face.

Whenever I fought with my brothers, they would call me “bamboo pole” or “mole face”. They knew how those names hurt me and I’d inevitably end up in tears. Things got worse when I started primary school. As I looked different, my classmates ganged up on me and teased me constantly.

Eventually, I developed an eating disorder. My mother didn’t understand what I was going through and her thoughtless remarks worsened my condition. If I ate ‘too much’, she’d tell me to watch my diet, if not I’d become fat. If I refused to eat, she’d comment about how I looked “too skinny” and “insect-like”.

When I confided in my friends, they just laughed it off or told me that I was perfect the way I was. They didn’t seem to realise how much my appearance affected me.

While I don’t think I’ll ever resolve these issues, growing older made me reshuffle my priorities. I stopped letting my insecurities take charge and focused on more important things like doing well in my career instead.
Emma, 23

Considered a gender change because of my Adam’s apple

I started becoming self-conscious about my looks when I was 10. My peers criticised my hairy arms and Adam’s apple. Boys taunted me, asking if I was a male in disguise. It got so bad that I thought of changing my gender because if I were to become a boy, no one could fault me for my ‘boy parts’.

It affected the way I carried myself when I talked to people. I’d feel self-conscious, praying that they wouldn’t notice my ‘flaws’. Eventually, I avoided talking to others because of my insecurities. If I had to speak to someone, I’d lower my gaze and end the conversation quickly.

Things started to look up in Secondary school when I had the luck to meet some amazing friends. They taught me to accept who I am through their love and acceptance.

I had encouraging teachers too. I remember plucking up the courage to ask my biology teacher about my Adam’s apple. He was kind and patient, gently explaining how some girls have more testosterone in their bodies. He reassured me that my Adam’s apple did not make me any less of a female.

At the end of the day, being healthy and happy is more important than looks. Beauty is how much love and happiness you can spread to the rest of the world.
Nursheena, 25

Created photography project on “Appreciating Bodily Flaws”

Junior college was a tough time for me. Puberty had caused me to gain weight while my girlfriends remained petite. I began to struggle with body image issues as my body was different. The Chinese mindset that ‘skinny is beautiful and fat is ugly’ compounded these issues.

I remember one incident three years ago, a senior who barely knew me left a hurtful comment about my size. No matter how hard I try to brush that comment off, it continued to haunt me.

Last semester, I decided to create a series of images aimed at celebrating bodily ‘flaws’ such as cellulite and pot bellies. I was inspired by the bikini-clad mothers and grandmothers I had seen at Cinque Terre, who were unabashedly showing off their flabby tummies and saggy skin!

I saw this project as an opportunity to celebrate every female who has ever struggled with their bodies and as a way of coming to terms with my own struggles.

Haters gonna hate no matter what size you are, so love yourself; you’re beautiful the way you are.
Ming Rui, 23

Self Love Is Key

Insecurity plagues even the most confident of women from time to time. We’re always our own worst critics and chances are, nobody actually notices your ‘obvious flaws’. But at the end of the day, beauty is only a matter of opinion.

The post 7 Singaporean Girls Share How They Dealt With Body Image Issues appeared first on ZULA.sg.

It’s 2017. Open Instagram, YouTube or Facebook and chances are, you’ll be bombarded by beautiful young people showing off lifestyle #goals in carefully curated sequence. While most people see nothing wrong with this, others have started to wonder if a pretty face is all it takes for one to climb the path to fame and fortune.

Preeti Nair, best known for her moniker “Preetipls”, exploded into social media stardom in 2016 when she released an incendiary video mocking an online influencer for her critique on Singaporeans’ dress sense. Her video soon went viral, with netizens hailing her a hero for her wit and no-sh*ts-given attitude towards the social media scene. Since then, Preeti has released several videos on relatable topics such as National Day, Chinese New Year and Valentine’s Day, to the excitement of her growing league of fans.

In this article, we talk to Preeti about her childhood, subverting conventional notions of “Influenza“-hood and creating a niche of her own in Singapore’s social media industry.

Life Growing Up

Do you know why your parents named you Preeti?

My parents always made it clear that we should never tell lies, so I guess they were simply leading by example. LOL jk. But I heard it was either ‘Preeti’ or ’Cutie’ (hope they were kidding) so I’m glad they went with the former.

How was life growing up?

It was great, my brother and I were the bestest of friends. At every family event, my Mom would share this endearing story of how ‘4-year old me’ beat some boy up just because he pushed my brother off a slide at IKEA. #SiblingGoals

Where did you study at?

I feel the need to share that I was from Raffles Girls’ Primary school—thanks to my mother’s kickass balloting skills! But most recently, I was from Ngee Ann Polytechnic’s Mass Communication.

When you were younger, what did you picture yourself doing for a career in the future?

When I was really young, I wanted to be a doctor (by the way I love Grey’s Anatomy). Once I was old enough to give myself a reality check, I could never put my finger on which career path I wanted. My friends have always been quite the ambitious bunch, so we would talk about eventually starting a production company/agency together.

So how did “Preetipls” come about?

If I had a dollar every time someone told me I should make videos, I’d be rich enough to revive Sun Ho’s singing career. I’ve always wanted to make ‘funny’/comedy videos online and I’m glad I finally got to it.

Was your family supportive of your decision to put yourself out there?

YES. Even though I see right through my Mother’s fake chuckles at my videos, she is 200% supportive of me so she’s the best. By the way, they made me join Little Miss Singapore beauty pageants when I was 6 years old so I bet they LOVE that I am willingly putting myself out there now…

On Entering The Online Media Industry

How has life changed after becoming “Preetipls”?

I’ve always been the same person with my snarky comments and constant laughter at my own jokes…but I guess it’s quite daunting to put yourself out there under public scrutiny. I have no regrets but I just want to apologise for my inability to hold a conversation once someone recognises me out on the streets of Geylang…just living my life.

When people think of the word “Influencer” in Singapore, an image of a slim, Chinese girl often comes to mind. What do you think about not fitting into the stereotype?

I hope you’re not indirectly calling me a fat, Indian girl but I’m glad I don’t resemble most 22-year-old females in Singapore. I’d like to think I’m preeti damn unique.

Who are your biggest influences?

Everyone, because everyone’s an influencer now! Okay but I guess seeing the response on my videos and not being the only one laughing at my jokes is enough motivation for me to keep going. Humour is everything.

What is it about your version of satirical videos that’s so powerful and resonant?

I don’t know, people are weird.

How different are you in real life compared to the “diva” persona you adopt in your videos?

I feel that the character I portray in my videos is just 36% more delusional, exaggerated, animated and honest than my real life self. So it’s still me but super over-the-top.

Do you ever worry about “selling out” or producing content that doesn’t reflect your beliefs or who you are as a person?

Not really because I always check myself before I wreck myself. If I feel like doing something different or taking on a certain project, I’ll check if it makes me feel even a lil disgusted with myself. If it does, it’s a no from me.

What are some difficulties faced in the media industry that most people don’t know about?

I honestly wouldn’t know because I am super new to the game. But from what I’ve experienced so far, it’s the risk—to just drop everything and make this a full-time career. It’s insanely risky and I admire everyone who has hustled so hard and successfully made this their rice bowl.

What’s your advice to anyone out there who’s thinking of entering the media industry?

Check yourself before you wreck yourself, like fo real. Constantly keep yourself in check and don’t ever lose yourself.

What do you wish to see more of in young girls?

Tbh, I only look at men. Wait, what? I guess confidence because that’s something I had a constant struggle with. Not to sound like a ‘believe in yourself’ preachy person, but… believe in yourself!

What’s your best advice for handling haters?

Every time I see a mean comment, I hit ‘like’ on it. Embrace them I guess, don’t take these things too seriously—I mean c’mon, I wore a trash bag in the middle of Orchard Road.

What’s next for you?

A second date with Benjamin Kheng.

Get To Know Preetipls

For more of Preeti, check her Instagram, Facebook and Youtube channel.

The post A Chat with Preetipls On Life Growing Up and Singapore’s Social Media Scene appeared first on ZULA.sg.