Being A Pole Dancer & OnlyFans Creator

Growing up in a conservative country like Singapore, it’s common to hear “typical Asian expectations” from parents, like becoming a doctor or lawyer. Especially for girls, confidently displaying your sexuality and body is usually taboo and an absolute no-no

But as society progresses, who says women can’t have a full-time job and own their sexuality at the same time? Definitely not Andrea, aka Goddess Vexa on OnlyFans, a 23-year-old pole dancer and OnlyFans creator who’s also working full-time in marketing. 

As someone who isn’t afraid to show off what it means to be a confident queen who doesn’t take criticism from anybody, we spoke to Andrea to discover her journey and how she learnt to embrace her sexuality.

Viewpoints on female sexuality growing up

One look at Andrea’s Instagram page and it’s obvious that fitness has always been her passion. “I used to teach bounce fit, then went on to teach spin, do yoga and run — I’m just all over the place”. Eventually, Andrea chanced upon pole dancing as well and began a new hobby.

But while Andrea appears to be someone who’s been confident all her life, she also quickly reveals that she has been cyber-bullied since she was 12 years old for being open-minded. “So my sad story is that I’ve been facing this crap since I was very young. By the time I got to doing pole, I was already quite immune to negativity.”

Discovering a love for pole dancing

As class passes have become the hype for Singaporeans to try out fitness classes for a while now, Andrea’s journey with pole began the same way 2 years ago. Unlike many girls who start learning pole to express themselves, Andrea shares, “I was already very comfortable with my body, but pole became an outlet where I could release my sexual energy”.

“When I started pole in 2019, I actually stopped [sleeping with] men. I’m not doing pole to seduce men — it came at a perfect timing because I’m at this stage in my life where I dislike the patriarchy. So when it comes to pole dancing, it’s just me, the mirror and the pole.” 

But while seeing pole dancers doing seemingly effortless routines, Andrea faced a huge reality check: the class was painful and tough. 

“For my first ever pole class, the warm up was pull-ups with a resistance band. I do martial arts like boxing and Muay Thai, but I’ve never done pull-ups as warm up before. For. My. First. Class?!” 

If I could describe Andrea’s face as she was recollecting her first class’s experience, it would literally be the emoji with a “?” come to life. 

“I remember it was so tough and I hated it so much, I wanted to quit before the class ended. But after everything ended I thought ‘hmm that was so hard… let’s do it again.’” 

She did try again and again, and eventually fell in love with pole, even calling her hobby a “pole addiction”.

Joys and sorrows of pole dancing

The best part about pole dancing for Andrea is actually not the physicality it requires, but  dressing up in cute costumes! “Being in a pole studio gives us a reason to wear crazy Lady Gaga shoes and whatever clothes we want to wear. It feels safe in the studio, which is one thing we don’t really get outside.”

“Even if you go to the beach, sometimes it can be uncomfortable to be in a bikini. But in a pole studio, we can wear whatever bikini we want — or even less.”

While the sport is fun and exhilarating, Andrea also brought up having to deal with injuries and negative stereotypes. “Pole dancers still face a lot of discrimination, mostly because people still have the mindset that women exist for entertainment and pleasure. This comes with a lot of slut-shaming and body-shaming.”

“Bigger girls or guys and non-binary individuals who do pole definitely face a lot of struggles too. But once upon a time, people thought all pole dancers were strippers, so we’ve grown [from that] a little bit. From here, we can eventually grow some more.”

It’s true that the stigma with pole dancing has become a lot less harmful in Singapore. Especially since for someone like myself who also sparked an interest in pole after seeing it more online. Booking pole classes at studios is another tough battle — they sell out real quick

Yet when it comes to sharing these experiences outside of the studio, there’s always a hint of embarrassment that comes with it. Stigma about body sizes and the sport won’t change overnight, but hearing Andrea passionately trying to fight against it is a huge comfort for beginners like myself. 

Deciding to publicly display her sexuality on OnlyFans

Like everyone else who was bored AF during the Circuit Breaker period, Andrea kept the boredom away by attending most of her pole classes online. Dressing up was still popular then, and naturally Andrea wanted to post these cute fits on her Instagram too.

“Since I was posting a lot of dressed-up sexy dances for my own reference, I ended up getting a lot of comments from men. So I got to a point where I thought that if I can’t stop them from coming, the least I can do is make some money off of it.”

And thus, Andrea’s OnlyFans account was born. “OnlyFans is completely uncensored so I can post whatever I want without worrying about Instagram restrictions. It gives me a lot of freedom to post more, and I also do a lot of photoshoots now that I’ve got a platform.”

Instagram censorship who? Hearing Andrea’s entrepreneurial sense taught me that if you’ve got it, flaunt it. 

What it’s like being an OnlyFans creator

When it comes to the term “OnlyFans”, the first thing that comes to mind for many is undeniably “porn content”. But Andrea revealed that there’s a whole community of people who post different content ranging from cosplays to pictures that are just an extension of their Instagram. 

For Andrea herself, she posts “a lot of freestyle dancing, or when I get a new outfit and there’s no one for me to show how nice it looks. So I set up my camera, do a little dance and show it off like ‘look at this new bikini!’”

“People think it’s easy money, like being an influencer. But the amount of work that influencers and OnlyFans creators put into building their brand and posting a seemingly effortless picture has a whole crew behind it.”

“It’s still a job. A crazy amount of effort is put into every post, almost like working in an advertising agency.”

Between her love for pole dancing and her newfound Internet fame from OnlyFans, Andrea embraced her sexuality completely – to both admiration and criticism from others.

Also read:

I Am A Pole Dancing Singaporean Lawyer And Proud Of It

Reactions from family and friends

comfortable with your sexuality

It was also during Circuit Breaker when Andrea decided to buy a pole to install in her house. When the pole arrived, she asked her father to help her to set it up and he immediately questioned to his horror, “what is this? A pole?!” 

It’s a justified reaction honestly, as Andrea was only at the beginning of her pole journey when she bought it. Even though her father questioned, “you can do this meh?”, he still helped to set it up in the house. 

Overall, Andrea is thankful that her family has been very supportive of her pole dancing journey.

“There are friends who are supportive and curious about pole dancing, but there’s another group of people who make their own assumptions and judge. The worst part is that they’re not asking me to clarify.”

“I filter the people I need in my life. Those who are open-minded and positive, they’re obviously still my friends. But those who silently have an issue with what I’m doing, naturally we just stop talking.”

When it comes to being an OnlyFans creator, Andrea also received a similar clash of positive and negative reactions. “There are a lot of people who think I do porn — though there’s nothing wrong with creators who do that — and make judgements so we don’t talk anymore. But I’m very open to showing my friends [who I am], and sometimes I’ll even offer them a free trial, for the girls.”

“Friends have even offered to help me take photos and give me feedback. There are misconceptions that some may have, but after talking to me, they have a better understanding of what OnlyFans creators actually stand for.”

Her outlook on both pole dancing and OnlyFans now

comfortable with your sexuality

Another common misconception many of Andrea’s followers have is that she makes money off pole dancing on Instagram. Andrea reveals that this isn’t true, and she hilariously followed up by saying “I wish it was”. 

There are a lot of pole dancers who are very private, but Andrea claims that “there are also single b*tches like me who have nobody to send the videos too — so, OnlyFans lor. I just wanted to try it because why not? It looks fun.” 

As OnlyFans is a platform where creators can set their own prices, Andrea charges $16.99 a month on her page. But being a well-known creator has changed her life in the way where people would ask her what if her company knows, and hearing whispers in the spin studio asking if her subscribers will show up.

Andrea usually retorts by asking “what’s wrong with that? [My subscribers] are normal people and paying customers”. She also reinforces that these subscribers could be anybody, someone’s friends or even friends’ families, so there isn’t a need to worry. It makes her feel like she’s “taking back some girl power.  

She also loves the encouragement she receives on OnlyFans, though she warns that “it can be a slippery slope because it seems like we’re living off validation. But I would say that if you’re already comfortable with yourself, it’s just more reassurance that life doesn’t have to be perfect like Instagram”. 

“Both OnlyFans and pole dancing helped me to not care as much about what other people are saying. After all, no matter what you’re doing, there’s always going to be people talking about you.”

Being vocal about female empowerment online

comfortable with your sexualityAndrea’s Instagram highlights

Besides sharing about her pole journey online, Andrea also has many Instagram highlights to share about issues such as female empowerment and body positivity. We really mean it when we say there’s a lot, as followers can find more than 20 different highlights on her page where she shares her thoughts on issues.

When asked why she posts these so often, Andrea tells us, “it was a long journey for myself to understand all the toxic things that we’ve been taught when we were young. I eventually got to a point where I felt comfortable enough to repost and write my own views online.”

“I know where I stand and why I care about these issues. That’s when I became a lot more vocal. Especially when I see people who are not exposed and can’t learn. It helps if everyone posts a little bit more about issues they care about to educate their friends.”

It’s one thing to educate yourself, but it’s certainly another level to make the world a little kinder by educating others too. This isn’t easy to start, but Andrea’s positivity shows that it’s more about the journey of discovery than focusing on the outcome. 

These Instagram highlights have also unexpectedly generated a lot of positive feedback from her followers. “Once, this guy told me his girlfriend was going through something and felt very alone. So he shared my page with her and she said it was like there was someone having her back.”

“The positive outcome makes me feel like it’s worth all the emotional toll on trying to care about issues. Especially with so much negativity all the time.”

Who knew that being honest and unfiltered in your thoughts could actually impact someone else’s life. Certainly not Andrea. 

Advice for others embracing their sexuality

comfortable with your sexuality

While hearing about Andrea’s experience with bullying right from the start of the interview was tragic, she proved the phrase “tough times don’t last, only tough people do” true. Learning to be happy with doing whatever you want is not something that anybody can just easily do.

“Well, you can’t control what people say, so just do whatever you want. Do whatever makes you happy and ignore them — [their words] shouldn’t change what you want to do”, she shares.

For the ladies out there who are still struggling to discover their sexuality, Andrea advises to “first check how you view others, because most of the time you feel insecure when you’re judging. Stop comparing. When you can see the beauty in others, it gets easier to see the beauty in yourself.”

Especially in the Singapore context, the stigma surrounding women remains hard to overcome. “We’ve never been taught to allow women to feel pleasure, so it becomes very hard to talk about what they are experiencing and feeling. It’s even harder to explore what we like or dislike.”

“The only way we can ease things is to talk about it more. When you start the conversation, people will realise it’s normal. And you’ll feel like you’re allowed to explore.”

Through Andrea’s Instagram, she’s hoping that girls can see her imperfections and realise it’s okay to have flaws too. If Andrea can do it, why can’t we too? Wanting to try is already the first big step to exploring ourselves. 

Owning Her Sexuality As A Pole Dancer & OnlyFans Creator Made Andrea The Confident Woman She Is Today

After I hung up the interview call with Andrea, I had a moment to sit down and really digest her advice. As someone who’s just starting out with pole classes, I could relate to feeling insecure about my body and wanting to give up after the first few classes. 

Hearing from someone of a higher skill level share her flaws and struggles made me realise that we’re ultimately all human too. Whether it’s pursuing pole or other hobbies more, it made me more determined to do what I want despite what my family or friends may think. 

Underneath the glitz and glam of Andrea’s flashy pole tricks and photoshoots, the 23-year-old pole dancer and OnlyFans creator has shown us what it’s like to look at sexuality in the face and own it. 

While it’s not necessary to follow the same path that Andrea has done to achieve this, she also taught us that it’s important to listen to your body and know your needs. 

Gaining confidence is not something that can be achieved overnight — it is a long process of self-discovery and fighting against societal expectations. But in the end, it all proves to be worth it. 

All images courtesy of Andrea.
Responses were edited for clarity and brevity.

Also read:

24 Dance Studios In Singapore With Dance Classes Including Pole, Hip-Hop & K-Pop