Crazy Rich Asians celebrates Singapore
Contains spoilers.
As a 53 year old, Singapore shows no signs of retiring. She’s even been featured in Hollywood movie!
Here are 53 things I loved about Crazy Rich Asians, besides being awestruck by seeing fabulous Singapore on the silver screen.
1. Blue Comfort Delgro taxi at Peik Lin’s house
Rich people take cabs, not Grab.
2. Ku Ku Jiao
Colloquialism for penis.
One word to unite multi-racial Singapore.
3. “She’s not even that pretty! Has she ever heard of plastic surgery?”
The claws came out fast. Somehow the American director knows how Singaporean girls talk.
4. Kevin Kwan’s cameo
Attn: MINDEF.
Foreigners, point 4 here.
5. Ponding-themed wedding
Ponding can be a beautiful and romantic setting. Just probably not for commoners in Bedok.
6. Hypocritical Christians
Bible study in the afternoon. Turns into a devil at sundown. You don’t need a high net worth to meet those.
7. Fiona Xie as Fiona Xie
Just kidding. In my heart, you will always be Channel 8’s little genie / FHM cover model of the early 2000s.
8. Accurately depicting what a Southeast Asian princess looks like
They don’t have tight waists and go to bed with a tiara.
9. Making actors take off their shirts whenever it sort of made sense
Tilda Swinton stole an Asian man’s role in Doctor Strange. Crazy Rich Asians restores them in 8-pack glory.
10. Subtle product placement
Thank God nobody tried to sell us instant coffee or travel insurance. There is an appropriate place for this—Jack Neo movies.
11. “You are not like the other girls.”
Wild gold diggers always appear whenever there is a scent of a rich Singaporean man.
12. Peik Lin’s mansion
What’s the point of wealth if you can’t flaunt it?
Tiered fountain, splash of gold everywhere. Good taste is overrated. Just ask America’s First Family.
13. Watching rare flowers bloom at midnight
When you are crazy rich, your type of recreation mirrors empresses in the forbidden palace.
Netflix is for the subpar rich.
14. Helicopter fleet
Thank you for leaving so-so rich douchey race car owners in the dust, Bernard Tai!
15. Michelle Yeoh
Wow acting. Fabulous in a kebaya. The Meryl Streep of Asia. Malaysia’s national treasure.
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16. Villians make a movie
Thor has Loki.
Hot on Miranda Priestly’s Prada heels, Eleanor Young is 2018’s bitch-in-power we love to hate.
17. This person who ANALYSED the mahjong scene
That scene happened so fast with so much dialogue, I am not even sure how this mahjong-expert came up with this rundown…
18. Mahjong scene making gambling legit
Serial gamblers excited that their vice has some poetic meaning finally.
19. Throwing the pivotal bamboo mahjong tile so Eleanor could win
Bamboos don’t stand alone. Strength is greater in family.
20. Mahjong scene takes place in a clan association
Apt, as the conflict is between individualistic ideals versus the good of the clan.
21. Eleanor Young’s suit and giant gem getup in mahjong scene
Makes actual Crazy Rich Kardashian look as poor as her unfilled lips.
22. Peranakan culture is so beautiful
We walk past the heritage buildings in Katong like it’s no big deal. But those scenes of the Young’s mansion are filled with glorious Peranakan decoratifs that make the cinematography a visual feast to behold.
23. Dumpling wrapping scene
True Asian answers lie in dumplings; not fortune cookies, Americans.
24. Made family heirlooms great again
Are diamonds a girl’s best friend?
The emerald ring said all that was needed. Girls who crave for diamonds forget that those not-so-precious stones are just a marketing and supply-manipulation campaign by DeBeers.
25. Cheating husband Pierre Png
Looks like money can’t buy you love. But it can buy you million dollar earrings. Maybe that’s enough.
26. Limousine argument
There will always be those women who subtly hurt you by making you feel like you are not enough in passive-aggressive ways.
Still, they want to lock you in a relationship and play victim when it goes south.
“I can’t help you feel like a man.” Ouch.
27. Gemma Chan
Chiobu.
Foreigners, read point 8 here.
28. High-society drama
Crazy rich Asian doesn’t like other crazy rich Asian. Typical.
29. Plump juicy prawn being de-shelled
2018’s breakout star. Show us that glorious footage of hawker food being prepared.
30. Malaysia Boleh
Singapore’s most prominent show is stolen by Malaysian talents Michelle Yeoh and Henry Golding.
So stop being salty about our hawker culture UNESCO application, okay?
31. Praising Changi Airport
When I lived in New York and touched down in JFK airport, it was the “despair and salmonella” Rachel describes.
Changi has ruined us with its butterfly gardens, honestly.
32. Constipated mandarin
For whatever reason, ACS boys sound like American-born Rachel Chu when speaking Mandarin.
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33. Not understanding my own accent
Was I the only one who could not code-switch between the various accents?
American, British, and Australian accents were okay, until the Singaporean drawl came up.
What they talking ah?
34. Eclectic Music
Theresa Teng, Cantopop cover of Material Girl.
That one English song, during the wedding—an acoustic cover of Elvis Presley’s I Can’t Help Falling In Love, peppered with reverential silence.
35. Awesome back-story of Coldplay’s Yellow Cover
Read about it here.
36. I asked my Jamaican friend who lives in San Francisco what he liked about the movie
“It was relatable to all Asians. Not just Singaporeans, Chinese, etc. Even Koreans I know loved it.”
37. “You will never be good enough.”
Story of our lives. Sad.
38. Proposal scene
How come I’ve never noticed those scenic steps near the Singapore River to lepak on?
39. Shot of Merlion spitting
Singapore Tourism Board’s manufactured mascot gets his 1.5 seconds of fame. LOL.
40. Reverse-colonising the British by buying their hotels
41. Dialect
The prologue scene in Cantonese immediately brought back memories of my late grandmother.
She would chide me for watching Jack Neo’s comedy night, while lamenting that dialects had been censored from the airwaves.
42. “That’s why we are on Hong Kong Vogue and not American Vogue.”
As a crazy rich Asian (or just Asian), there are always higher peaks to climb. Sigh.
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43. Partying in “international waters” on a container ship
New #lifegoals. Can I buy a bazooka on Amazon?
44. Rare Cambodian gong
Sometimes, you just need to make an entrance…GONG!!!!!!
45. Peik Lin so Singaporean
Though played by American actress Awkwafina, Peik Lin’s twice denial to enter the Young’s mansion is so Singaporean! Then, of course, she accepts.
46. Walk-of-shame set of clothes, LMAO
Go get it trashy girls.
47. Asian mothers’ love
Rachel and Nick experience their strong mother’s love in two very different ways.
48. ‘Auntie’ that yells, “Faster, faster” in the plane
Impatient middle-aged women everywhere in Singapore. They abuse the poor traffic light buttons and beat you to enter the bus first.
49. “What does she bring to the table?”
“Small tits.”
Feminist inappropriate joke for 2018.
50. Fireworks in the ending scene
Crazy rich Asians show NDP how it’s done.
51. Bachelor’s party vs bachelorette’s party
Chilling at the beach talking about feelings versus an all out shade-fest.
52. Red Angbao dress
People in the cinema LOLed when Rachel Chu rolled up at the gates. We all understand, gurl.
53. Mid-credit scene
Macam* Marvel movie!
*Malay for as if.
Excited for China Rich Girlfriend
Gemma Chan as the lead character in the sequel? Hell yes.
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Cover photo: Source
