As kids, all we ever wanted to do was to grow up. But when we finally do so and enter the adulting phase, we find ourselves asking this very question: “why did we want to grow up so quickly back then?” 

For many, turning 30 is a very daunting milestone in life. You’re no longer as wild and “YOLO” as when you were a teen, but you’re also not yet a dinosaur waiting for retirement. Plus, 30 is the age where people experience different changes in their body — and no, it’s definitely not similar to puberty. 

We asked seven women to share with us the biggest physical changes they realised when they turned 30, and what it’s like to deal with the insecurities and stereotypes surrounding their age. 

1. “I’ve discovered fine lines around my eyes and my pores becoming bigger”

Image courtesy of Jou Teng

“Since turning 30, I’ve discovered fine lines around my eyes and my pores becoming bigger. Sometimes, my mum will say, “wah, your face has lines now”, or my sister will also add on, “now you’ve reached the age”. 

I don’t feel the best of course, and they made me feel as if I need to do something to prevent these issues from worsening. Once I turned 30, I became more interested in skincare and finding products that help with anti-ageing. I started using eye cream more often too. 

Being 30 motivates me to live life to the fullest. As I’ve reached a new stage in life, I want to start it with a positive mindset. I’d say the feeling is something similar to the beginning of a new year, but slightly more ‘major’.” 

Advice to women who are insecure about their physical changes: “Try to see these physical changes as milestones in life. You’ve come so far, and there is nothing to be ashamed about.”

— Jou Teng, 30 

2. “I get uncomfortable hangovers after only a couple of drinks”

Image courtesy of Steph

“I believe society has conditioned us to think that our physical attractiveness depreciates as we age — nobody wants to feel less, and it can be quite daunting, especially if you’re still single.

But in the end, age is just a number. If you take good care of yourself, you’ll still retain your youthfulness. After all, vitality comes from within, not from how one looks.

For me, my biggest physical change is that my alcohol tolerance has dropped. My friends were rather shocked as I used to drink without hesitance. But now, I get uncomfortable hangovers after only a couple of drinks.

I feel that these are just signs that my body is giving me to remind me to take good care of it. My sense of self is pretty strong, so I generally don’t let people’s opinions affect me. If it’s an internal battle, I learnt to be kinder and honest to myself so that insecurity wouldn’t get the better of me.”

Advice to women who are insecure about their physical changes: “Learn to love every bit of you, the good and the bad. Nobody can love you more than yourself.”

— Steph, 34 

3. “My physical changes are mostly attributed to having a child”

“When I was in my early 20s, I used to think people in their 30s were damn old. And I didn’t want to grow old. I felt like there was a timer on how much “fun” I could have as a young adult. But truth be told, it didn’t pan out that way — adulthood hit me as soon as I started working in my 20s. 

Being in your 30s is fun as heck. We now make a little more money — enough to travel more and enjoy life a bit more. Responsibilities are there, yes, but life goals are clearer, and I quite like that. 

I think my physical changes are mostly attributed to having a child and not getting enough sleep because of said child for the past 2.5 years. I get random pains here and there, experience the inability to stay up and out past 11pm, and there’s a slower recovery after working out, drinking, or staying out late. 

If you have a healthy lifestyle, a lot of these won’t really be problems. But I think people in their 30s now look better than ever, even if they don’t feel so.”

Advice to women who are insecure about their physical changes: “There’s nothing to feel ashamed of because it’s a natural part of ageing.”

—  Amara, 34

4. “I’ve experienced a slower metabolism and got a few strands of white hair”

Krystal at the gym
Image courtesy of Krystal

“When my 30th birthday came up, I was not happy about the digit change. Exercise took a back seat because when I had tried jogging a few years back, my right knee would act up and it would require a few weeks to feel normal again. 

Since turning 30, I’ve experienced a slower metabolism, faster weight gain, and got a few strands of white hair. But I give myself breaks and know that I am doing my best to stay healthy and happy. 

During the pandemic, I took up brisk walking and gradually running. As I started running more, my right knee had the chance to slowly build muscle to support my movements. Now, it doesn’t hurt anymore when I run.

I’m fascinated by people slightly older than me who still look youthful. Skincare and health standards are improving now. Differences in looks are more about lifestyle and sun exposure than age.” 

Advice to women who are insecure about their physical changes: “Any exercise is better than sitting and worrying. It improves your dopamine levels and slowly builds your confidence!”

— Krystal, 36

5. “I felt like I lost my personality and my youthful energy”

Janice (right) participating in a marathon
Image courtesy of Janice

“Everyone kept telling me horror stories of the physical changes I’ll experience once I hit 30. There seems to be a preconceived idea that by this age you should be married and settled into your career, which I have acheived neither.

I get sleepy so easily now. It’s hard to stay awake late into the night and my post workout aches are far worse than what I experienced in my 20s. In my 20s, I was super hyper and always participated in activities until late into the night. 

I get pretty harmless comments like “wow, you’ve really calmed down” or “you’re not as hyper anymore” from the people around me. But it made me feel a bit bitter, almost as if I lost my personality and my youthful energy.

Now, I try to eat healthier, less sugary snacks and work out. I believe that actions solve everything, so I want to workout and focus on gaining more muscles.”

Advice to women who are insecure about their physical changes: “It’s valid to feel insecure, but trust yourself and your body. You can change your body again, just that it might be a little slower and require a little more effort.”

— Janice, 31

6. “My dark eye circles are more apparent”

Image courtesy of Jessica

“The 30-year-old mark made me more particular about refining my skincare regime as all my friends have invested in good skincare. Being tired more easily was definitely one thing, especially as I embarked on the sleep-depriving journey called motherhood. I’ve also felt that my dark eye circles are more apparent, but people were always kind enough to say I look fine. 

I started religiously applying moisturiser. Also, I try to prioritise getting enough sleep — though it’s tough.

I didn’t want to cause myself insecurity so I don’t compare myself to younger folks in terms of ageing signs. As for older folks, I only look to them for inspiration on how to maintain oneself well, rather than being defeated by how I’m not measuring up.

I think when you get older, you have less energy to worry about how others perceive you — that in itself is rather freeing.” 

Advice to women who are insecure about their physical changes: “Your body might not be perfect, but it is beautiful as it has brought you through so much in life.”

— Jessica, 33

7. “The weight gain over the years made me very self-conscious about my body and clothes”

Image courtesy of Aditi

“I thought I would be fitter by the time I was 30 because I started working out regularly in my early 20s. Unfortunately, I feel less healthy physically. Skin dehydration is also obvious on me now — one day of not following my morning or night skincare routine results in severely dry skin the next day.

“You look tired” has become a rather common greeting from the people around me. The weight gain over the years also made me very self-conscious about my body and clothes.

My friends and I share the problems that we face in our 30s and I realised that it’s pretty common among people my age. This makes me feel less lonely, although it doesn’t quite solve the problems.

I keep asking my husband if he still finds me physically attractive and his reassurance gets me going on days where I feel extra conscious about my weight. But I’d like to reach the point where I’m comfortable in my own skin and don’t need anyone else’s reassurance about my appearance.”

Advice to women who are insecure about their physical changes: “We should support each other and be more open to sharing how we feel, and not keep the emotional burden to ourselves alone.”

— Aditi, 33

Experiencing Physical Changes At 30 years Old Does Not Make These Women Any Less

These women’s experiences have shown us that though our bodies are always changing, we shouldn’t view it in a negative way. Ageing is simply a part of life that we should embrace and celebrate instead. 

Many of the responses also shared that the most common signs of ageing appear to manifest on their skin. Concerns such as wrinkles, age spots and dullness aren’t things that only ah-mas go through — sometimes, it starts as early as 30.

NIVEA’s Luminous630 Is The World’s No. 1 Spot Serum With Complete Solutions For All Skin Concerns

For ladies who are hoping to overcome their physical insecurities ASAP, rest assured that it is possible to age with grace. Previously, NIVEA released their Luminous630 Spot Serum Advanced Treatment which aimed to help with dark spots that are caused by DNA, hormonal imbalance and sun exposure.

Now, NIVEA has given the Luminous630 serum a new makeover and they’re back with two new serums: Anti-Age and Spot Serum and Post Acne Marks Serum. These mighty skincare products aim to provide solutions for all kinds of spots and skin concerns, so that they can address even deeper skin problems.

Deep wrinkles, sagging skin and loss of density begone. The Anti-Age and Spot Serum is perfect for those who are experiencing these changes on their skin. The product contains natural soy and squalane, which BTW, has been clinically proven to improve skin elasticity, as well as powerful anti-age ingredients that serve as a collagen booster. 

No need to worry if you have sensitive skin too — the serum is able to restore an even, strengthened and younger and luminous look without harming the skin due to the gentle ingredients mentioned above. 

Within just seven days, the serum will be able to densify the skin and fill in deep wrinkles. And another week of using it will bring about visible results by reducing age spots. 

Fun fact: local actress and singer Rui En also uses this product, citing visible reduction of age spots and fine lines after using it for just two weeks. So if you’ve ever wondered how you can get that radiant celeb glow, this serum might just be your answer.

If post acne scarring is your major concern, check out the Post Acne Marks Serum instead, which contains anti-spot ingredients that are proven to reduce marks by 71%.

Whether you’re approaching 30 and worried about signs of ageing or already going through some of these physical changes yourself, NIVEA’s Luminous630 Spot Serum Advanced Treatment is here to keep your insecurities at bay. 

Head over to Watson’s online store to get your hands on these serums and embrace your age with a new skincare routine today. 

Find out more about the NIVEA Luminous630 Range here! 

This post was brought to you by NIVEA.
Photography by Shawn Low.
Responses have been edited for brevity and clarity.

The post 7 Women Share The Biggest Physical Change They Realised When They Turned 30, From Wrinkles To Bellies appeared first on ZULA.sg.

With social media being a huge part of our lives, it’s easy for thoughts of comparison and unrealistic expectations to creep in. During my teenage years, I personally experienced the full force of my body insecurities and struggles with body image. I found myself contemplating drastic appearance changes through ‘extreme’ methods such as fad diets and excessive exercise.

While these “extreme” methods can produce quick results, they can do more harm than good, potentially taking a significant toll on one’s mental health. For Lemon8 user @steffffilim, she shares her own story of how she dealt with her past struggles with body image.

Her story

Source

Steffi had been struggling with her body image for five years, and it was only recently that she discovered she had body dysmorphia. Despite having a healthy BMI and weight, she would nitpick certain areas of her body that she perceived as “flaws.”

Reflecting on her past struggles, she revealed that she used to have an abundance of negative thoughts, which now seem “honestly insane” to her. “I just sort of gaslighted myself into thinking that I had to get rid of all these flaws by losing weight,” she explained.

She would often choose oversized clothes to cover herself up. Although there were days when she felt more comfortable and confident, she would eventually change into baggy clothes afterward, fearing that people would notice the “flaws” she saw in herself.

Source

When discussions about body sizes and images arose, Steffi shared that some of her friends would be confused about why these topics struck a nerve with her. In reality, her fear of her friends perceiving her as “big-sized” remained at the back of her mind.

Over time, she began to slowly accept and love her body for what it is. She highlighted that it is normal for girls to have stomach rolls and flabby arms.

Takeaways

Steffi’s journey was exceptionally difficult, but having overcome the challenges she faced previously, she now shares her takeaways with those who might be in a similar situation.

1. Don’t put yourself down by what others say about you

For illustrative purposes only

While we might obsess over our own appearance, you’ll be surprised to find that most people around us don’t care as much. But even if they do judge you, it has everything to do with them and not you.

“If someone is judging you based on the size of your arm or any other perceived flaw, it’s their problem — not yours,” Steffi shared on Lemon8. She also suggested that recognising your body’s quirks is an additional step towards fully embracing and cultivating deeper love for it.

Once you start feeling more comfortable in your own skin, you’ll slowly begin to feel more confident and care less about what others think.

2. Understand what your body needs

For illustrative purposes only

As Steffi aimed to lose weight rapidly, she resorted to restricting herself to consuming only salads for meals or even skipping them altogether. There were instances when she consumed just a single slice of bread or a small carton of milk. However, this rigorous “diet” took a toll on her body, leaving her constantly hungry and fatigued.

Apart from attempting to adhere to a stringent diet, she began to exercise regularly, as she believed that neglecting to do so would lead to weight gain.

“If I felt that I hadn’t pushed myself hard enough during my run, I would return home and continue with an additional hour of exercise,” she explained. Consequently, she didn’t allow herself enough time for proper recovery, as she engaged in exercise almost daily.

She emphasised that “your body is not a machine,” highlighting the significance of rest and not depriving your body of its essential needs.

3. The scale does not define you

For illustrative purposes only

Steffi recounted how she used to have a bad habit of constantly checking her weight after she exercised. However, what is displayed on the scale is not an accurate representation of your body composition.

She clarified that muscles are heavier than fat, and when you exercise, you tend to build muscle, which explains the weight gain. She assured her followers that “this is a healthy weight gain and it’s not a bad sign at all!”

This Singaporean Girl’s Story Serves As A Reminder That Your Body Is Perfect Just The Way It Is

While Steffi’s journey wasn’t easy, she hopes to provide solace to others who find themselves in the same situation. “Learning to be comfortable with your body isn’t a linear process; there will be ups and downs, but eventually, you’ll reach that point,” she shared.

Aspiring for the “perfect body” isn’t everything, and it’s not your responsibility to conform to society’s standards of beauty. Hopefully, her story and insights will empower you to break free from such negative thoughts. Remember that your feelings are valid, and you’re beautiful just the way you are.

Cover images: Source, ZULA.

Also read:

Singaporean Girl Shares Experience Of Dating A Fatphobic, Warns Others To Recognise Red Flags

The post SG Girl Shares How She Struggles With Her Body Image & That The “Perfect” Body Isn’t Everything appeared first on ZULA.sg.

If you recall earlier this year, there was a hoo-ha about a Singapore beauty salon allegedly comparing women who don’t shave to orangutans. While they clarified that it was a misunderstanding, it struck me that society has made it seem as if women must be hairless under their pits or nether region. 

Interestingly, there hasn’t been much emphasis on shaving for men, especially when it comes to their hair “down there”. As such, we asked seven girls in Singapore to share their opinions, and if they prefer their man to be shaved, trimmed or hairy. 

Some names have been altered to protect the identities of our interviewees. 

Shaved

1. “Dislike the feeling of having it in my mouth”

For illustrative purposes only

“Back when I had braces, I had an irrational fear that a guy’s pubic hair would get stuck in my teeth if I tried to pleasure him orally. But now that my braces are removed, I find it yucky if any pubic hair gets into my mouth, which is why I prefer my guy to have a clean shave. 

Since I am a person who cares a lot about hygiene, a guy with pubic hair would also make me wonder if his genitals are properly cleaned. Aesthetically speaking, I am also not a huge fan of guys with pubic hair because I don’t find them appealing. 

That said, I will definitely share my preference with my partner, and let him know why it is a concern to me.”

– Faye, 22

2. “It is easier for me to pleasure him with my mouth”

Source

“Before I managed to convince my guy to shave his pubic hair completely, he was hesitant because he imagined it would be strange to not have his “manhood” covered. But he understood the reason almost immediately after he realised how much easier it was for me to pleasure him with my mouth. Since then, he has been shaving on a regular basis.

NGL, I think shaving completely also gives a guy a cleaner look, and it makes me feel that he cares about his hygiene. Rather than thinking that shaving is “gay”, more guys should also understand that grooming has nothing to do with downgrading their masculinity, but more with other aspects of sex and self-care.”

– Christie, 27

Trimmed

3. “Shows that he cares about personal hygiene”

Image courtesy of Joy

“I prefer my guy to have his pubic hair trimmed because it shows that he cares about personal hygiene. While it won’t play a huge role in affecting my desire to have sex with him, his actions reflect how he prioritises self-care and grooming. 

Since communication is key in every relationship, I find it important in sharing my opinions with the person I’m seeing. I would voice out my preference to my partner, but of course, I won’t disrespect him and force him to make any changes to his body. 

If men have the means to go for professional grooming like at a waxing shop, I would say go for it too.”

– Joy, 23

4. “Going au naturel is too wild, but a clean shave makes him look like a Ken doll”

“I consider myself a relatively “hairy” girl who takes time to groom my hair, so I think it is fair to expect the same from my guy. However, I would prefer him to keep a bit of his pubic hair because going au naturel is a lil’ too wild for me, but also, having a clean shave would make him look like a Ken doll ‒ either option would turn me off. 

Although I won’t force my preference onto my guy, I think it is acceptable to share my opinions with him. After all, it is important to communicate since we want to pleasure each other and enjoy sex.”

– Tessa, 29

Also read: 

Global Study Reveals Singapore Has One Of The Lowest Sex Drives, Hong Kong The Most Horny

Hairy

5. “More hair looks sexier to me”

Source

“I believe the stereotype of having more hair equates to being more masculine is a myth. But when it comes to sex, I find a guy with more hair sexier because they look “manlier” and older ‒ which I am very into. 

Of course, there are many other factors that contribute to a guy’s sex appeal, but having more pubic hair is definitely a cherry on top for me. Not to mention, I also enjoy the sense of touching it.   

On the other hand, while having more hair is visually attractive, I find it impractical actually to have them. Sometimes the hair will end up in places that you don’t want to have during or after sex ‒ there was once when I found pubes stuck in my retainers. Yikes.”

– Queenie, 19

No preference

6. “As long as he doesn’t smell, I’m fine”

Image courtesy of Cindy

“Whether a guy is hairy or not, I’m the kind of person who is fine with any as long as he doesn’t smell. Since everyone has rights to their body, I don’t think I have a say in telling a guy what to do to his pubic hair. 

I respect those who actually visit salons to have their pubic hair professionally groomed because it shows that they value personal hygiene. Even if they decide to do so to please their partner, it shows that they are a person who is willing to make changes and compromise in a relationship.”

– Cindy, 30

7. “Never want my partner to feel conscious of his body”

For illustrative purposes only

“Since I don’t like to tell people to change their bodies, I don’t have a preference when it comes to my guy’s pubic hair. This is also because I would hate it if someone were to do the same to me.

I strongly believe that everybody should do what they want without being pressured by society or the people around them. As such, I hate to think that my personal opinions about my partner’s pubic hair situation would make him feel more conscious about himself. 

Sex is something that should be enjoyed, but I think a lot of people are more concerned about how they look in their partners’ eyes, which in turn affects their sex performance and confidence.

That said, I’m all for men who want to groom their pubic hair professionally. Society often associates “hairiness” with “manliness”, and thus, hair removal is often seen as “not manly” because it’s associated with women. 

The same goes for men who were to go to any form of cosmetic salon services to take care of themselves or maintain their hygiene, such as manicures. At the end of the day, whatever you do to your own body should be your choice.”

– Ming Xuan, 24 

These Girls Show That Everyone Has A Different Opinion On Pubic Hair

Whether you’ve shaved, trimmed, or let your pubes run on auto, rest assured there will always be a person who loves the way you are. Everyone will always have something to say about your body, and the best we can do is not let their opinions affect yours. 

Cover: Image courtesy of Cindy, Source

Also read: 

Guide To Getting IPL Hair Removal: Things To Prepare Before Your Appointment, Myths & Aftercare

The post “I Dislike Having It In My Mouth” – 7 Girls Share If They Prefer Shaved, Trimmed Or Hairy Guys appeared first on ZULA.sg.

Here’s the harsh reality of society: everyone is judgemental AF. We grew up being exposed to media and having expectations of how others should or should not look like. Especially when it comes to appearances, body image issues have become a huge topic for the current generation, despite more efforts to encourage body positivity.

While it’s common to see small and petite Asian women, the curvier ladies on the other hand, suffer from the criticism of being “too big.” We spoke to six self-professed curvy girls in Singapore to find out the worst things they’ve been told and common misconceptions they face because of their body type. 

Some names have been altered to protect the identities of our interviewees.

1. “Curvy people in the media are always the ones being bullied, giving off the message that it’s normal”

Image courtesy of Cheryl

“Growing up, I was never a small-sized person, and according to my health checks, I was classified as severely overweight. There is a body size expectation for Singaporean girls, usually one that is petite, skinny and can fit into “free size” clothing, which is something I was never able to do.

In school, I was sent to the “fat” club during recess or before assembly. So when everyone else was having fun, I was one of the few that were singled out. 

“Why are you so lazy?”, “You have grown fatter”, and “Why are you so fat?”. These are things that close family members and classmates have said right to my face, and it was never easy to stomach it every time.

There isn’t a lot of representation of curvy people in the media either. And even when there is, they are the ones being bullied or made fun of. It gave off the message that it was okay for us to be ridiculed.

This has led to consequences on my mental health as I also self harmed when I was younger. In recent years, this has changed a lot for me. I am no longer affected because I have grown to be more confident in myself. There are still days where I feel ugly about my tummy and thighs. But the good outweighs the bad, and I am working towards a more active lifestyle, learning how to take care of myself better.” 

Advice to curvy girls in Singapore who are struggling with negative comments: “It is not easy, but most of the time, we are our worst enemy.” 

— Cheryl, 29

2. “I wore a denim jacket just to cover up my arms despite it being 35 degrees outside”

Yan Ling before and after losing weight
Image courtesy of Yan Ling

“The sizes I usually go for while shopping range from L to XL. Singaporean girls tend to be more petite and it is common to see these girls wearing crop tops or mini skirts. 

Before I lost weight, I was 86kg at my heaviest and could not even fit into any XL sizes. I compared myself to influencers, models and even my own friends a lot, and felt sad because I could never fit into what they’re wearing. Even if I did, it would not look as nice on me because of my body type. 

Once, I wore a denim jacket just to cover up my arms despite it being 35 degrees outside — I almost passed out from the heat. Hearing that I should eat less, start exercising, avoid fast food and that I won’t be able to get married became a norm from the people around me. But why did they think this of me just based on my body type? 

I tried to lose weight for a period of time because of these comments. However, it was tormenting because I had an unhealthy mindset of counting calories. I avoided hanging out with my friends because the places that they were going did not have anything healthy for me to eat, which was a diet based on chicken breast and broccoli. 

This year, I am happier. I started following more plus-sized influencers and finding out what types of clothing would fit my body type better. I also bought clothes from brands that are size inclusive and became motivated to workout to be healthy, rather than the sole purpose of losing weight.”

Advice to curvy girls in Singapore who are struggling with negative comments: “Pick out clothes that you know will look good on you, instead of trying to fit into clothes that are in trend or meant for petite girls.”

— Yan Ling, 25

3. “I’ve been referred to as “the pui pui one” by an acquaintance”

“I’ve always been plus-sized, and people have always pointed out, whether jokingly or otherwise, that I’m better-endowed than the average. I’m definitely not one of the waif-like girls who most fashion is designed for.

Most of the pressure, I’d say, is internal, depending on how much you let pop culture, peers, and the things family members say affect you. Personally, always being the bigger one in photos, and not being able to fit in a size S or M, makes me feel intensely ashamed of myself and my size. 

I was also in dance when I was younger, and I’d be constantly embarrassed because I looked less graceful or wouldn’t be able to fit in dance costumes. I’ve been told by my own mother to stop slinging my bag across my body because it makes my breasts stick out, and have also been referred to as “the pui pui one” by an acquaintance. 

I didn’t really manage to overcome these comments. They still weigh heavily on my mind, except that most times I try not to think about them. There’s only so much that education can do. There has to be a fundamental change in people’s mindsets, and sadly there will always be conservative people who think less of the voluptuous.”

Advice to curvy girls in Singapore who are struggling with negative comments: “Find yourself people who embrace you as you are. If they are concerned for your health, then they should be constructive, honest, and encouraging without being mean.”

— Sophie, 30s

Also read:

Overcoming An Eating Disorder ‒ The Pressure To Be “Skinny” As Shared By A Singaporean Foodie

4. “I get told that certain outfits don’t suit me because it makes me look like a mum of 10 kids”

Image courtesy of Isabel

“I always knew that I was on the chubbier end growing up. While more than half of my weight is contributed to muscle mass and bone density, I guess my weight and size overall defines me as curvy and plus-sized. 

Even when you are curvy, there is only a “right” way to be curvy: your chest and hips have to be the same size, or your waist has to be small like an hourglass figure. 

My fiancé and I are both plus-sized, yet I received more feedback on how I need to “be thinner” while it’s perfectly acceptable for him to maintain how he is. He gets to dress however he pleases, and I get told that certain colours, patterns or outfit combinations don’t suit me because it makes me look like “a mum of 10 kids.”

I used to let it bother me, but then I remember that I am still relatively healthy and I am on my own journey to be comfortable in my own skin.”

Advice to curvy girls in Singapore who are struggling with negative comments: “You are beautiful just the way you are. Know that you are not alone and you will always have a community of women behind you.”

— Isabel, 24

5. “A relative told me that being fat is ugly in front of everyone”

Image courtesy of Bernice

“Anybody can physically see that I’m more busty and have more weight on my body. A lot of the time, clothes are always too small to fit me. 

A relative of mine used to compare me to their children, in hopes that I would be encouraged to lose weight. They went to the extent of getting all my other relatives a T-shirt and purposefully buying mine one size smaller. They then made us stand in a line and told me specifically that being fat was ugly, and that I had to lose weight to get into the T-shirt. I was only 13 then, and it shattered me. 

Plus-sized girls are not all unhealthy. And gyms aren’t made for us, or at least based on my experience, it feels like it’s made for people who are already fit. 

Society should understand the struggles of a plus-sized female before giving her advice. If she didn’t ask you, don’t say anything. Unsolicited advice is just as annoying as an unsolicited dick pic.” 

Advice to curvy girls in Singapore who are struggling with negative comments: “If you want to make changes to your body, make sure you do it for yourself and not because someone else asked you to.”

— Bernice, 27

6. “I feel like I can’t eat what I want without being judged”

Image courtesy of Shan

“I am at least an M in most brands. Certain cuttings make me look pregnant. More often than not, I can’t fit cuttings in specific areas, mainly the bust. 

My family members are always saying I’m fat, ugly and no one will want me. My mother and aunts have also called me names such as “huge” and “pig”. It made me feel horrible and hurt. 

Every time I see nice clothes, I’m unable to fit in them. I also feel like I can’t eat what I want without being judged. I have low self-esteem and confidence, and it took a long time and hard work to slowly love and accept myself.

To some extent, I’ve overcome the majority of it, but it still hurts now and then when the comments are made. I do believe that God is fair and I count my blessings in other ways, such as the fact that I’m very confident about my teeth and smile.

A brand may show that it has XXL sizes when you click on the item, but the model is never a curvy girl. It doesn’t even have to be a curvy girl brand to show curvy models. Mannequins should be curvy too.” 

Advice to curvy girls in Singapore who are struggling with negative comments: “Our bodies cater to specific audiences who love it.”

— Shan, 29

These Struggles That Curvy Girls In Singapore Face Remind Us To Be Kind To One Another

These curvy girls in Singapore share common experiences of being called names and facing harsh misconceptions based on their body types alone. Through understanding their stories better, hopefully, we as a society can learn to be kinder to one another and not judge others’ appearances. 

Responses have been edited for brevity and clarity.
All images courtesy of the interviewees.

Also read:

7 Singaporean Millennials Talk About Having Eating Disorders And How They Recovered

The post 6 Curvy Girls In Singapore Share The Worst Things They’ve Been Told & Common Misconceptions They Face appeared first on ZULA.sg.