What would you do if a man pretends to sleep and creeps beside you in a vacant train?

While some girls might walk away and brush off the incident, Miss Ho Jing Wen chose to take action, lest other young victims fall prey.

According to her viral Facebook post, Ms Ho tailed her harasser and documented his actions at around 10.00pm on 11 October.

What he did happened to not just one, but three girls that night.

Source

Rubbed his crotch

While on the North-South (red) line home, a man in a checked shirt strolled from another cabin and sat beside Ms Ho.

The man started manspreading and pretended to fall asleep. Minutes later, he inched closer to her and was leaning to his left, to the point where she had to move half a seat to avoid physical contact with him.

As he clutched onto his pants, he used his backpack to rub his crotch area up and down while leaning towards her. It got to the point where she was unable to move any further and shifted to another seat.

He pretended to sleep for the next five minutes or so, before he stood up and moved down the cabin to harass his next victim. He repeated the lewd actions once more to the second victim, before casually ‘waking up’.

By this time, Ms Ho had been monitoring his behaviour closely.

His third victim

He then alighted the train, moved two doors down, and boarded the same train again. He probably knew she was watching him.

When Ms Ho recounted the incident to his second victim, they realised they had shared the same experience. So, they got up and tailed him.

This time, he deliberately sat beside a young girl despite the plenty of vacant seats available.

His third victim was clearly in distraught as she struggled to move away from him, towards her friend.

Ms Ho quickly informed the girl of his behaviour, but the man kept up his pretence of napping until the train pulled into Jurong East terminal station.

When the group alighted, Ms Ho quickly ran down to the control station to alert the staff. The manager then went up quickly with her to confront the man, but he had already disappeared.

His persistent actions gave her every reason to believe it was intentional and deliberate. Hence, Ms Ho wishes all girls to stay alert and safe.

Empathy for mental health sufferers

One Facebook user highlighted that the man might have “mental health issues”, which explains his behaviour.

Recently, an online video of an autistic man masturbating on a train while looking intently at a primary school-aged girl went viral.

TODAY online covered an article which called for more empathy towards the unnamed, autistic man. In the article, Ms Sally May Tan, chief executive officer of the Movement for the Intellectually Disabled of Singapore (Minds) called for “a greater emphasis on public awareness and education is needed to inform others on what to do if they meet a special-needs person exhibiting sexual behaviour in public.”

Personally, we agree that the general public should have more empathy for persons with mental disabilities. They’re likely incapable of understanding why their actions are wrong or conforming their behaviour to the law.

Still, it doesn’t change how the girl(s) were sexually harassed in both instances and made to feel uncomfortable. The outrage displayed at the harassers’ inappropriate behaviours was warranted.

Dealing With Sexual Harassment

As one Facebook user commented if you see someone behaving inappropriately, move away and call them out. Do not keep silent.

And if you see someone being put in an uncomfortable situation, step in on their behalf if you see they’re too shocked or afraid to act. We should look out for one another, like how this 23-year-old man did despite his physical disabilities.

If anyone has encountered the same experience, you can PM Ms Ho. She has already alerted SMRT and made a police report about this incident.

Also read:

The post Sexually Harassed On MRT, Girl Creates Viral FB Post To Warn Others appeared first on ZULA.sg.

Sexual harassment and assault can happen to anyone. It can occur anywhere, anytime and you don’t have to be dressed like you’re ‘asking for it’.

In light of the allegations against famed Hollywood director Harvey Weinstein, the hashtag #metoo was created to give a sense of scale to the sexual harassment and assault women face.

Taking a stand and speaking out against these inappropriate behaviours, the ZULA team has decided to share our stories of being stalked to being groped in public, to raise awareness and say: sexual harassment is not okay.

Kimberly: “I was molested on the bus.”

The first time I was molested, I was 13. It happened on the last row of bus 170 on my commute between Johor Bahru and Singapore.

When I felt my uniform riding up my right thigh, I didn’t think much of it. I thought the bumpy bus had shifted my skirt so I shrugged it off and went back to sleep. But it happened again and I felt cold fingers brush my skin.

I saw a man looking at me through the window’s reflection and scooted over to my classmate, praying feverently the bus uncle would drive faster.

The harassment didn’t stop there. The creep began to gauge my arrival time at the customs every morning and followed me closely for six months. My friend tried to ‘protect’ me, but one day, he was absent from school and I ended up alone with the creep again.

This time, he positioned himself to stand in front of my seat. Every time passengers boarded the bus, he’d lean forward and press his crotch into my face. It got to the point where I could feel his jeans on my cheek.

The stranger next to me noticed and said in Malay, “Stop it lah, she’s just a girl”, to which he replied, “But she’s pretty, no?”

They laughed it off and started talking about their jobs while I chewed hard on my lip to stop myself from crying.

I don’t remember much of what happened after but I know that was the last time I saw the man because my parents moved to Singapore for good.

Looking back, I wonder why I didn’t think to scream for help. Was I scared no one would believe me? Or did I accept harassment as a ‘thing’ all girls go through?

Since then, I’ve realised how important it is to seek help when something doesn’t seem right. All you need is five seconds of courage to speak up, and you could potentially save another girl from experiencing the same harassment.

Leah: “They asked me to send nudes.”

Growing up, I often used online gaming platforms as a way to meet new friends. As naive as a 12-year-old, I didn’t think it a problem to give my number out to internet strangers.

After awhile, these ‘friends’ began harassing me for nude photos. When I refused, they said I was “no fun” and refused to play the online games with me.

The most disgusting part of the whole experience was these boys were only a year or two older than I was, and I was probably not the first girl they’ve bullied.

I stopped talking to them as I didn’t approve of how they were coercing their female friends into sending them racy images.

You don’t have to tolerate comments which makes you uncomfortable. If someone is sexually harassing you, just shut them down and say “BYE!”.

Chevonne: “A guy masturbated behind me in Bus 93.”

When I was a teenager, I boarded bus 93 with my sister at the Harbourfront interchange. We sat at the back of the bus, and it wasn’t long before another man took the seats on our left, one row behind us.

Halfway through the journey, my sister nudged me and pointed to her left. Turns out, that man had whipped out his ‘little brother’ and was masturbating furiously.

But instead of shrieking “OMG” or “so small!” (okay, kidding), we gave him the most nonchalant expression before continuing our conversation.

The next stop, he quickly zipped up his pants and stormed off with a look of disdain.

I once read how flashers often do it for the ‘thrill’; the more ‘excited’ the girl is, the better. So when we had no Fs to give, it could’ve turned him off.

Chevonne: “I caught him peeking.”

When I was 12 years old, a Secondary student approached me while I was walking home. He asked me, “Where do you live? Where do you study?”

Trusting my gut instincts, I decided to throw him off by pointing to a random direction and replied, “somewhere there”. I then quickened my pace, and walked away from him.

However, when I was 20m ahead, I turned around and caught him peeking at me from behind the pillar. So I detoured and and sat on the steps of another house till I was sure he was gone.

Tip: My mum always warns me about guys who stalk girls with a fixed routine (e.g. jogging at the same place, at the same time) and that you shouldn’t listen to music so loud that you can’t hear footsteps behind you, especially in deserted areas.

Keeping her advice in mind, I always make it a point to know what’s going on around me.

Chevonne: “An acquaintance almost got raped.”

Early last year, I heard of an acquaintance who was nearly raped at her HDB block near Jurong. A man had entered the same lift as her, and when she alighted, he pounced on her from the back and attempted to pull down her pants.

Thankfully, her unit was near the lift, and her family was home that day. So when she screamed for help, her father rushed out, and the perpetrator ran away.

Though she survived this harrowing incident, it’s a reminder not to take Singapore’s safety for granted. Even if you’re entering the lift with someone else, try to stand behind with your back against the wall so you’ll be able to be more aware of your surroundings.

Cheryl: “I always got groped at clubs.”

At 19, I used to go out clubbing a lot. I’ve been pawed at by drunken men so much I’d expect to be groped every time I went out.

Once, I went out partying with a large group to celebrate a friend’s birthday and wore a swishy dress. I was having a good time until someone decided to put his hand under my dress.

A hand cupped my entire right butt cheek and gave it an extremely firm squeeze. Before I could turn around and punch the guy in the face, he was gone.

Another time, a guy tried to grind his erect penis against my back, despite me repeatedly shoving him away. He only backed off when I yelled at him and threatened to call security.

I think it’s kind of sad I was one of those girls who felt being touched inappropriately was part and parcel of Singapore’s nightlife.

Harassment is never acceptable in any setting and as much as possible, confront them and don’t let people bully you!

And if you want to dress sexy in a club, a really tight faux leather skirt is your best bet for not getting molested. (The material and cut makes it almost impossible for people to put their hand up your skirt or grab your ass.)

Dealing With Sexual Harassment

As a woman, it’s easy to feel intimidated when a man physically stronger than you behaves inappropriately.

But your voice is stronger than you think, use it to show them you’re unafraid and not someone to be messed with. And if you something bad has happened to you, you don’t have to keep silent.

The post Sexual Harassment in Singapore And How We Girls Dealt With It appeared first on ZULA.sg.