Everyone has something to say about pregnancy. “Don’t eat this”, “Don’t lift heavy things”, “Are you excited?” are just some of the phrases that have been flying around once I broke the news to folks that I was prego.

But amidst all the noise and prep required to welcome a new life, as a 4-months-old pregnant lady, I wanted to do something for myself. In particular, to commemorate my journey. After all, it wasn’t every day that my body was accommodating a whole new life.

My temple was miraculously transforming day by day, from having my largest ever boobs to a gradually increasing baby bump, and my friends suggested the idea of a maternity shoot to mark this milestone. I was intrigued by the idea but the idea of chilling out in a lallang-strewn field smiling at my belly channeling Beyonce’s Earth Goddess was totally not my style, so I shelved the idea of a photoshoot.

Until, I was presented with the idea of boudoir photography.

Finding out what was boudoir photography 

Boudoir photography, quite simply put, is a photoshoot with the subject in intimate wear such as lingerie or other sensual outfits.

My initial notion of it was racy, and to be completely honest, a little bit shady – wasn’t it full of dodgy photographers who just wanted to shoot ladies in a state of undress? 

But when I came across Drewperspectives, I was so taken with the tastefully shadowed photos (and the amazing underwater ones), that the thought floated across my mind: what if I did this shoot while I was pregnant?

Source

With some Instagram stalking, I noticed the women featured on the IG feed also had some mums among them, with some looking to be in their third trimester. Upon further enquiry, Drew said the latest was even in their 8th month of pregnancy! 

Another thing that appealed to me was the clever use of light and shadow, which didn’t put the parts of my body I was conscious about in harsh, stark lighting. That, coupled with positive reviews from previous clients, gave me the courage to go forward and believe I was in professional hands.

Allaying my nerves 

Let me confess: I was hella nervous about the shoot. Who wouldn’t be – stripping down to probably your undies in front of a total stranger? 

Thankfully, my fears were put to ease quickly. Drew told me a series of steps he had put in place to ensure his clients – especially female ones – would feel comfortable with him as a male photographer: namely, an NDA to protect privacy and photo leakages, a no-contact policy, an option to delete photos one is uncomfortable with and the choice to have a friend or colleague in the room. 

“Some even bring their husbands and boyfriends along, and it’s quite awkward when my female client wants to push the boundaries more, while her partner is reluctant, so I just stay out of it and wait till they sort it among themselves,” he laughs. 

Feeling comfortable during the shoot

During the actual shoot, I was initially shy and awkward but the ice was rapidly broken by casual chit-chat with Drew, and his reassurance that I needn’t do anything I was uncomfortable with.

We started off by showing the outfits I had brought to the shoot, and sharing with him the vision I had, as well as my boundaries. He also shared that some clients shared moodboards of the poses they wanted to try, but as I was pretty go-with-the-flow. After all, I didn’t want to overmanage the artistic process and end up with shots that didn’t look good.

So, I eased into some simple poses by the sofa, with a men’s white shirt (my husband’s) as a nifty – yet hot – cover up. 

While I was comfortable with tight-fitting clothes due to pole dancing as a hobby, that was usually in the company of other women. But, even though he was technically a male stranger, Drew never made me feel at any point uncomfortable, professionally looking away when I adjusted my attire. The presence of other females on set also helped me feel at ease.

As for poses, Drew also gave me tips on how to angle my face to capture the best lighting. Even for the more sensual poses, he would demonstrate how to do them (to hilarious effect) and took care to make sure I was never physically exhausted as a pregnant lady.

Through this process, my inner provocateur was unleashed and soon I was werking my messy hair, arched back and come-hither looks as best I could. As we got on, I felt less vulnerable and actually more powerful and confident in my body.

During the shoot, I also had chances to QC the photos to make sure there weren’t any I was uncomfortable with, and glad to say, the shots were all classily done and used shadows to highlight my body in a flattering manner. 

As for my stretch marks and bits of cellulite? While I’m usually uncomfortable about them, the photos revealed another side of me that was just plain hot, and I dare say it was the sexiest I had ever felt in the course of my often frumpy-feeling pregnancy.

Also read:

How Being Flat-Chested Made This 30-Year-Old Singaporean Woman Love Her Body Even More

Redefining motherhood and “sexiness”

Let’s face it, motherhood doesn’t exactly have a glamorous or “sexy” rep. Throughout the course of my pregnancy, I’ve heard from fellow mums-to-be how they were drained from morning sickness, headaches, swollen feet and a whole host of other afflictions. Plus, constant worries about putting on weight and never getting back their figure after giving birth.

As for me, I didn’t feel 100% myself or anywhere near dressed up or “sexy” during the tiring first trimester, and it took a while for me to get used to the steadily growing bump. In fact, I didn’t want to look at the mirror at times because I thought I gained weight at certain angles.

The shoot, however, injected a newfound confidence in my transforming body. I realised that the bump curves could actually be beautiful and flattering, and it was lovely to note that I would now have a souvenir of my youth and body at this moment in time – no matter how my lifestyle as a new mum would change in future. 

In fact, when I asked Drew on the reasons that other pregnant ladies opted for a boudoir shoot, he mentioned that many saw it as a perfect “milestone gift” to themselves. To my surprise, he was actually initially reluctant to start boudoir photography and risk his previous reputation as a lifestyle photographer, till one existing underwater shoot client of his asked for a boudoir shoot to “capture her body in her youth and feel powerful”.

Other pregnant ladies have also given feedback that they felt empowered after the shoot, with initial critical thoughts on ‘flaws’ such as stretch marks being seen in a different light after viewing them through an artistic camera lens. 

As for me, I was wowed by the photos when I received them. They were classily done, yet did not make me look like an overly photoshopped cookie-cutter model. It was recognisably me, with my body portrayed in a most flattering way. Even my stretch marks or veins – a natural result of pregnancy – were not wholly removed, and the beauty portrayed chased away any last vestige of fear about my body morphing into something ugly during pregnancy.

Conversely, I finally embraced the fact that my body was beautiful – both inside and out. And even in the days after, as my belly bump grew bigger, I realised I was less self-conscious about hiding it in flowy, loose dresses and letting it show loud and proud to the world. 

Another bonus: it was also fun to see my husband getting a thrill out of the photos and going googly-eyed totally unprompted.

Views towards boudoir photography

While I myself was now a fan of boudoir photography and would recommend it to anyone who wanted to commemorate a milestone uniquely, or just do something bold for themselves, not everyone shares the same lack of prejudice.

According to Drew, the attitude in Singapore towards such shoots veers towards the conservative, even though other countries like the USA and even Taiwan, are far more open to it. Not to mention, it’s highly important to get a photographer you trust, especially in such an intimate setting, as some perverted photogs out there give the industry a bad reputation. 

In spite of this though, I still believe that boudoir is especially powerful as a tool for pregnant women – usually seen as “guai” (wholesome), self-sacrificing, sexless creatures – to reclaim their sexuality and womanhood.

And no matter if such shoots are up your alley, hopefully more women can start falling back in love with their bodies, pregnant or otherwise. After all, “sexiness” is often a state of mind, and any type of body in any state should not be confined to the narrow box of media-approved “sexiness”.

As for me, I’ll look at my steaming hot photos gleefully, knowing that not only have they brought the “sexy back” in my upcoming motherhood journey, but also that I have something to stand by when I tell my grandkids in the future, “Last time your grandma quite hot one hor.”

This article was written by an anonymous contributor.
All photos are courtesy of Drewsperspectives.
This article was first published on 7 April 2022 and last updated on 21 June 2024. 

Also read:

7 Women Share The Biggest Physical Change They Realised When They Turned 30, From Wrinkles To Bellies

The post I Tried Boudoir Photography As A Pregnant Woman & Learnt That Motherhood Is Hella Sexy appeared first on ZULA.sg.

With the final conclusion of Physical 100 Season 2, fans are once again left in awe from watching 100 strong contestants compete against each other in a series of tough challenges. Whether the contestant you were rooting for made it to the final round or not, we can’t deny that all of them have their own unique set of strengths, making this show so enjoyable to watch.

But whenever it comes to strength, many automatically assume that males will always be stronger than females due to the different physical biologies. However, like Season 1, the women who participated in Physical 100 Season 2 have once again shown us what it means to have girl power. 

Here are eight of the best female contestants ranked, who challenged gender stereotypes and proved that they are just as capable as the male contestants too.

Warning: Spoilers for Physical 100 Season 2 ahead, proceed at your own risk if you’ve yet to watch the show!

8. Hong Da Eun

Image courtesy of Netflix

When the scale of the first team mission was revealed, I was impressed — the giant maze seemed intimidating AF. But NGL, I was a little disappointed at team leader Lee Jang Kun, who couldn’t come up with a strategy for his team. It was clear to see that his teammates were flustered and did not know what to do during the game, which ultimately led to their loss. 

However, I felt proud when Hong Da Eun stepped up and made wise decisions on her own. When she realised that she was losing out in the zone she was covering alone, she left the zone to help out in another that had a higher chance of winning.

It was a good call on her part to help close the gap between the teams. On top of being quick on her feet, she was able to communicate her plan to the rest of her teammates too.  

7. Jung You In

Image courtesy of Netflix

Jung You In caught my eye right from the very first episode due to her bubbly and sweet personality. One sentiment that resonated among the contestants was that having a good mindset was more important than physical strength, which Jung You In displayed perfectly. 

While she didn’t showcase anything extravagant, she was well-heard in every game. She confidently gave in her inputs, cheered hard for her teammates and took every challenge head on with a positive attitude. 

When tasked to do the mine cart quest alone, Jung You In cheerfully shared, “if I think of it as doing 40 reps of 40kg deadlifts, it doesn’t sound that bad”. It’s safe to say that her good energy rubbed off well on her teammates, who cheered her on despite them not winning the game.

6. Park Da Sol

Image courtesy of Netflix

As a national judoka, Park Da Sol was used to using her entire body weight to press down her opponents. But watching her badly struggle to load the sandbags onto the mine cart tugged at my heartstrings — she wasn’t used to relying on her arms only. 

But her never-give-up attitude was honestly admirable. “The thought of giving up never crossed my mind. I knew I had to do it for it to end, so I kept pushing, even if it took a while.” 

Her team received the 10-minute penalty for taking longer than the time allowed, but I was proud that she ensured to see through her mission till the end. 

5. Park Ha Yan

Image courtesy of Netflix

From the bar hanging prequest in Season 1 to the manual treadmill in Season 2, I honestly can’t tell which mission seemed tougher. Each contestant had their personal goals to hit, with Park Ha Yan hoping to place first among all the female contestants.

Pushing herself to her limits, she achieved her goal, covering a distance of 3,375m and ranked 36 out of 100 contestants. She showed us that our goals aren’t as far away as we think they are, as long as we set our mind to it.

Also read:

We Ranked The Best Female Contestants Of Physical: 100 Who Impressed Beyond Strength & Broke Gender Stereotypes

4. Lee Hyun Jeong

Image courtesy of Netflix

All of the contestants were shocked when Lee Hyun Jeong represented her team in the second prequest — pull ups. She was the only woman to compete against the male contestants from other teams. 

Though her team didn’t win the advantage, she beat her personal record by doing six pull ups and was proud of herself. It was even more heartwarming to see not just her teammates, but the other contestants being proud of her too, praising her good form and for trying her best till the end. 

3. Kim Dam Bi

Image courtesy of Netflix

Kim Dam Bi is certainly the definition of small but mighty. Standing at 151.8cm tall, she’s used to hearing comments that she doesn’t look like a weightlifter at all. 

Her opponent, Kim Hye Bin, easily chose her to compete with for the one-on-one deathmatch because of her size, to which Kim Dam Bi challenged, “did you just look down on me because I’m short?” 

The pair went into overtime twice, and Kim Dam Bi eventually emerged victorious, proving her worth. 

2. Sim Yu Ri

Image courtesy of Netflix

I didn’t expect to get emotional while watching Physical 100, but Sim Yu Ri’s match against Hunter Lee had me in the feels. Gaining the top 50 positions in the prequest meant that the contestants could choose a weaker opponent for the one-on-one deathmatch and easily advance to the next stage, but the MMA fighter didn’t like the sound of that.

“Everyone seems to be choosing someone they think is an easy opponent. But since I came here to fight, I was going to go up against a strong male opponent.” 

It was then she chose to compete with a man within the top 50 — FBI agent Hunter Lee, who was obviously above her weight class. She even picked the MMA cage as their battlefield, which amazed the other contestants.

It wasn’t an easy battle, but Sim Yu Ri ultimately won the tough match, earning the respect from her opponent and proving to the others that she’s not someone to be taken lightly. 

1. Lim Soo Jin

Image courtesy of Netflix

Lim Soo Jin’s gigantic muscles aren’t just for show — the bodybuilder proved that she’s a beast in the solo mine cart quest. She became my girl crush the moment she loaded 15 sandbags, tested the weight, then haughtily smirked because it was lighter than she had expected.

She then proceeded to load 18 bags out of 30 for her first load, weighing a total of 720kg. For reference, Andre Jin loaded the same amount during his first attempt, and took a break afterwards as he participated in the doubles. Meanwhile, Lim Soo Jin had to do both attempts alone, back to back. 

Watching Lim Soo Jin in shock, Andre Jin commented, “she loaded everything already? That’s absolutely nuts. She’s faster than us.” 

Lim Soo Jin emerged second place, with the goal to prove to the male contestants that she is just as competent as them. “Our team may look relatively weaker because we have two women. But I’m doing the equivalent of a man, so I’d say it’s also our strength.”

These Women Of Physical 100 Season 2 Proved That They Are Just As Capable As The Male Contestants

Across two seasons, many netizens have voiced out that most of the challenges have been unfair to women, as men have the physical advantage to do better. 

But despite these comments, on top of dealing with the male contestants on the show looking down on them, these female contestants have made us proud by proving their various strengths beyond gender stereotypes. We can’t wait for more female representation in Season 3. 

Cover: Source, source, source

Also read:

8 Notable Contestants From Physical 100 Season 2, Like A Single’s Inferno Cast Member & A K-Pop Idol

The post We Ranked The Best Female Contestants Of Physical 100 Season 2 Who Proved Their Strength Beyond Gender appeared first on ZULA.sg.

Don’t get me wrong, I love being a woman. But there are days when I’m just sick and tired of having to tell men to stop objectifying females, and that it is not okay to take photos for their “personal” entertainment. As a matter of fact, you might be surprised to know many of them actually think that there is nothing wrong with the aforementioned actions. 

If you recall recently, presidential candidate Tan Kin Lian made headlines for his past social media posts, in which he made several comments about “pretty girls”. What concerns me the most is that despite apologising, he asked AWARE Singapore to explain what was offensive, suggesting that he still didn’t understand what was wrong or what he was even apologising for.

Understanding what the male gaze means

For illustrative purposes only

As a Media and Communications major graduate, I attended many classes on media portrayal, and one that struck me the most was a lecture on the “male gaze”. For the unacquainted, the male gaze refers to a way of looking at women by sexualising them from a masculine, heterosexual perspective.  

In order words, it refers to a person who is being perceived as an object, and not as a human being.    

Ever since I attended that class, my perspective on the way men view women changed drastically. I realised women have always been sexualised and objectified since the history of time, especially through media. Although society is changing for the better with movies that empower women like Barbie, there’s no denying that many men still view women as a piece of meat. 

Image courtesy of writer

A firsthand experience was how when I was still a student in Korea, my university dance team was invited to perform at a military base. Considering that we only had to perform female K-pop idol dances, my friends and I didn’t think much of it because we were university students wanting to earn extra cash. 

As it turned out, I only later realised how messed up the entire arrangement was. 

We performed in front of the entire military base, and during the performance, I began to feel uncomfortable with the way the audience was cheering. It didn’t feel as if they were clapping for our dance, but rather, they were entertained by the mere fact that we were girls dancing in a male-dominated space. 

Interestingly, I was the only one among my friends who found it awkward. My Korean friends later explained to me that such gigs are normal, and military bases with more funds get to invite actual K-pop girl groups to perform for them. 

I was pretty sure my brain was trying really hard to process what I’d just heard at that moment, but it sounded as if my friends were used to such occurrences. That was when I realised it hadn’t occurred to my friends that they were being objectified by men. Yikes. 

How talking about and looking at “pretty girls” is not okay

A statement from AWARE Singapore
Source

Such a lack of awareness in society made me understand why many men, and even some women, feel that talking about and looking at “pretty girls” is okay. The answer is pretty simple ‒ objectifying women has been deeply embedded in our culture, and there aren’t enough conversations about the topic. 

Chances are, these people have never been through such experiences on the receiving end, and they may not understand what it is like to be objectified, sexualised, and filmed without permission. And the worst part? They are ignorant about how these “harmless” banters actually translate to the objectification of women.

Instead, they see such behaviours as “lighthearted” and “fun” just because it brings out an honest side of them. While yes, honesty is highly valued in today’s society, objectifying women isn’t because it demeans and reduces women solely to their appearances. 

For illustrative purposes only

According to the results of a survey conducted on ZULA’s Telegram channel, it was revealed that 31% of 729 respondents found men talking about and looking at “pretty girls” uncomfortable because such actions objectify women. Yet, 51% felt that they were okay as long as it was respectful and consensual ‒ but let’s face it, what are the odds of it being that way?

On the other hand, there are people who believe that talking about and looking at “pretty girls” isn’t a big deal because they are just being open about their opinions ‒ 11% of the respondents fall into such a category. 

Once again, some might believe that 11% isn’t a significant figure. But get this ‒ for an influential figure to consider talking about and looking at “pretty girls” as a jovial matter, it encourages and gives the green light for others to follow suit. And that is no laughing matter, especially in the long run. 

Also read: 

10 Life Lessons From The Barbie Movie That Remind Us Although Life Isn’t Perfect, We Are “Kenough”

Admiration vs objectification

For illustrative purposes only

With that being said, I don’t mean men must avoid complimenting women and shy away when women walk past them. There are many other ways to do so without causing women to feel uncomfortable or invading their personal space. For starters, catcalling should just be banned. 

There is a need to know how to draw a distinction between admiration and objectification. 

For instance, admiration for a woman includes appreciating not only her physical appearance, but also other aspects such as her character, qualities, and skills. It means you genuinely value her as a person rather than focusing on a specific body part. 

For illustrative purposes only

I’m pretty sure women would prefer receiving compliments like “You were really confident in that presentation, respect!” or “I was impressed by how you resolved the conflict without losing your cool”. Basically, things that aren’t always about their appearance. 

However, if you really feel like complimenting someone’s appearance, here are some examples to consider. Go with openers like, “This new dress really suits your hair colour” or “Did you try a new makeup style? Your eyes look really gorgeous.”

But, once you see a woman as nothing more than a sexual object, that is when the admiration ends and objectification begins. 

Ways for society to improve 

For illustrative purposes only

Like Helen Keller once said, “Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.” I believe that changes start with us, and we can begin by talking about such topics with our family members and friends. 

A colleague of mine also shared that people who still don’t understand why talking about and looking at “pretty girls” are not okay “should really consider talking to their female friends about such occurrences to understand their point of view better.”

I can’t help but agree because doing so helps to raise awareness on such topics, and further promotes respectful behaviour among every individual. After all, we shouldn’t hold back and wait for a huge hoo-ha to take place in Singapore before we condemn such behaviours.  

There Are Many Ways To Respectfully Appreciate & Admire Women 

At the end of the day, there is no denying that Singapore can still do better when it comes to treating women with respect. Men need to put themselves in the shoes of women and think about why we aren’t taking this matter lightly. 

Hopefully, we will see improvements in the near future, and normalise more conversations on these topics with the younger generations in Singapore. 

Cover: TheSmartLocal

Also read: 

Why Females Involved With Media Scandals In Singapore Get The Short End Of The Stick

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