Some people call cheating an “accident”. Some say it’s an unforgivable string of selfish decisions that led to the cheating itself. Maybe it’s the generation we live in now where cheating may seem easier with social media and dating apps like Tinder. But one thing’s for sure—getting betrayed by our loved ones is always heart-wrenching.

Every experience is a good lesson for us to recognise our worth before letting someone else take advantage of our kindness. But before we learn things the hard way, here are 10 girls who’ve experienced the plunge of a knife from the ones they trusted the most.

*Names were changed to protect some identities.

Caught red-handed

I saw my ex holding hands with someone at Upper Thomson. The first time he cheated, it crushed me. I forgave him, but he was a repeat offender. After a while I became numb to it. Once, I came over early from work to surprise him and saw flirty MSN exchanges. Two of my friends also saw him getting cosy with different girls on separate occasions. And all these girls were from my school. So stupid, right? I only truly forgave him years later when I learnt what real love felt like. I realised I was only clinging onto him out of familiarity.
Amanda, 25

Found out through social media

My ex was hugging me at a club near Chinatown while holding another girl’s hand literally behind my back. It’s so f***** up, I only found out after we broke up. He was still logged into Facebook on my phone so I saw the girl’s DM saying he was “daring” to have done that. I felt so deceived, like nothing in the relationship was ever real. I forgave him to be easier on myself, but it’s harder for me to trust new people I date. It doesn’t feel as innocent anymore.
Nic, 23

Our relationship almost lasted 4 years before we broke up. He was very dodgy. One day, he told me he was going to study with his bro but I suspected otherwise. When I checked his tagged pictures on Instagram, this girl captioned that she couldn’t study unless my boyfriend was there to drag her. I was dumb because I took him back, but decided to stop being an option when I wised up. I recovered via Tinder and Zouk 3 times a week. LOL.
Janelle, 21

I met my first boyfriend through church. After we broke up, I found out he cheated through a girl’s blog that my mutual friend told me to read—a girl he was rumoured to have gone out with before me. Apparently my friends knew about it but no one wanted to tell me. That hurt almost as much as what he did. When I confronted him, he said he was only trying to get her to go back to church. But I knew her friends and they told me he actually arranged dates with her around my schedule, and spent more time with her than me. I’ve always had low self-esteem so I slipped into eating disorders. It took me almost two years to get over it, but I don’t trust guys anymore. Now when someone tells me they love me, I question it because I was so easily replaced once.
Hanna, 19

We may have been young but I thought we had something special. She was the love of my life, together for a year in Singapore and 2 years long-distance. She cheated on me with a guy whom she insisted was her gay best friend. They got together immediately after our break. I saw it online. When I went over to Sydney to find her for closure, she still lied. She said we’d stay friends and that she’ll always love me, but completely cut me out of her life. As days go by the pain stings less, but the sadness never goes away.
Amirah, 19

My first love cheated on me. I found out about this girl when I looked through his tagged Instagram pictures, so I asked about her. He said he could explain, but I broke up with him, then toh-ed at ZoukOut. After that he admitted they kissed and became friends with benefits. He told me to wait for him and I did. For 6 months. Remembering it makes me feel stupid. Yeah, I took him back because I was led by my heart. But I learnt to separate my emotions and think things through clearly. And to never give second chances to a guy who cheated on you.
Kayla, 21

Also read:

I Left My 10-Year Relationship After My Husband Cheated Twice & Found Love Again On Dating Apps At 32

Loved ones told on them

After we broke up, stories kept coming in, like how he was still contacting exes while with me. I went ape shit man. All I wanted was for him to admit it and apologise. But till today, nothing. When we were shaky towards the end, he had something on with his best friend from Lasalle. I found out because my Lasalle friends told me they saw them being so touchy, they thought we had already broken up. Being a silly 19-year-old, I deleted every trace of him and unfollowed him on social media. I had a partying phase and drank my sorrows away. Chugged down pint after pint—the weight gain was real. But I’ve let go of the past, and we’re friends now.
Xuan, 23

Partner admitted

My partner met a girl at school and they got really close. I was quite suspicious because she was all my partner talked about. But since we were in a committed relationship, I decided to trust her. After a party (which I didn’t go for), a couple of friends asked me whether I was okay, so that was how I knew. She was pretty cold afterwards and avoided me. But eventually, she told me she cheated on me at that party. I gave her another chance, but I don’t trust her as much anymore.
Pris, 20

Found out through texts

I was cheated on twice by the same asshole. I had this gut feeling he was hiding something so I checked his phone and all the sexts were right there. When I confronted him, his excuse was that he didn’t feel my love. He was my first love and that was hard to let go; I couldn’t see myself with anyone else. So I gave him a second chance, even after I almost moved on with someone new. Then he cheated again. How I felt? It’s hard to pick one feeling. My heart sank in disbelief, I was full of anger, but then just pure sadness when I realised it was over.
Naimi, 20

I found out through MSN messages that my ex-husband cheated on me. There was heartache, a sense of unworthiness and incompetence as a partner. I left, filled with self doubt and internal struggle. I tried to figure out what went wrong from every angle. In the end, I made peace with myself, which in my opinion is most important. I forgave him and a year later took him back simply because I loved this man. But things still didn’t work out. I left again and disciplined myself to limit my conversations with him. I used to be naive but I’ve learnt to guard myself—at times too much. I’m still learning to find my balance.
Joyce, 26

Moving Forward

Regardless of how new the relationship is, being cheated on is always painful and shocking for the victims. Betrayal comes in all shapes and forms, by both men and women.

This article was first published on 22 December 2016 and last updated on 15 November 2023. 

Also read:

10 Singaporean Guys Who’ve Been Cheated On Share Their Experiences

The post 10 Singaporean Girls Who’ve Been Cheated On Share Their Experiences appeared first on ZULA.sg.

Stories of girls being cheated on might seem more common, but truth is, men get cheated on just the same. Here, we asked 10 Singaporean guys who were cheated on to share their experiences with us, and how they managed to move on.

Names were changed to protect some identities.

Caught in the Act

“We were together for almost 5 years. I got down on one knee and she said ‘yes’ with tears in her eyes. I was looking forward to the best days of our lives to come. But months later, she started distancing herself from me. She’d laugh to her phone, but brush it off whenever I asked who it was, always saying it was a colleague. One day, my friend saw her with another guy and he called me. So I went over and followed them. They were headed towards Hotel 81 when I confronted her, and broke it off there and then. A couple of bad months followed before I met my current wife.”
Azri, 35

“I met her through a mutual friend and we clicked so we exchanged numbers. But I didn’t know she was still attached at that point of time. I only found out through our mutual friend when I asked him how he knew her. I asked her about it, and she said she was going to end things with him, telling me stories of how he was never on the same page as her. A few months later, she broke up with him and we got together. But 2 months later, when I went over to her place, I caught her in bed with her ex. I flipped shit—could’ve created a murder scene right there. But I told her I never wanted to see her again, and left the country to work in Dubai for a while. When I came back, our mutual friend said she got dumped by her ex. So that meant when we got together, they never actually broke up.”
Joel, 28

“After getting out of an intense 3-year relationship, I was still a little unsure of what I wanted. But on my birthday, I told her I loved her and that I wanted to take things to the next level. She had to choose between me and another guy she was seeing. She chose me, but one month later I caught her kissing the other dude. I gave her a chance but she continued contacting him behind my back. At a party, she got drunk and slapped me in front of her friends, saying I wasn’t him. She nearly went overseas with him when I couldn’t take leave. Once, I checked her messages and saw them saying they loved each other. He called her wifey. I gave her another chance but she dumped me over text. She said she couldn’t handle my trust issues, and got together with him shortly after. I forgave her for that and I’m still hurting. But nah, I’ll pass on getting back with her if she ever wanted it.”
Kennedy, 27

Cheated with Boyfriend’s Best Friend

“My girlfriend (then) slept with my best friend. Which is one of the worst feelings; to be betrayed by not 1, but 2, of the people you trust most. I always sensed something fishy, like she would keep asking about him and liking his Instagram photos, which I brushed off because I didn’t want to sound paranoid/petty. He was her go-to person whenever we had problems in our relationship, which was just a lame reason for her to talk to him. He broke the bro-code, but it was a good lesson for me to see their true colours. They said feelings can’t be controlled, but still, actions can. They should have come clean before they got physical.”
Clarence, 20

Found Out Through Social Media

“I had her Twitter account on my phone so I got her message notifications. She was flirting with some guy she once mentioned was cute, telling him stuff like her boyfriend wasn’t “good” or “rich” enough. When I confronted her, she admitted she cheated, and things went downhill from there. She was my first love; it took me around 5 years to feel better. I’ve never felt so terrible, heartbroken or disappointed in my life, but I forgave her. After a while, she just became another stranger to me.”
Josh, 20

Also read:

Why I Cheated With My Boyfriend’s Best Friend When He Was In NS

Because of National Service

“I got cheated on by my girlfriend when she was studying overseas. I had commitments in NS and couldn’t give her the attention, hence she felt like she had to get it from someone else. She told me about how she was tempted by another guy and cheated on me with him. I can’t forgive her because cheating is a breach of trust. But I overcame it by spending more time with my family and brothers in army who supported me a lot, and I’m so thankful for them.”
Ng, 20

“This girl I was seeing while I was in NS wasn’t mentally in our relationship. She wasn’t over her ex, and when I was in camp she’d text him for emotional support. At the time he was in Canada, but he came back. They were in the same church, and she started dressing better and got excited when she thought he was around. I ended things with her and they got back together after. It really sucked having to live behind someone else’s shadow, you know?”
Yue Ming, 25

It Happened Overseas

‘I was with this girl who went on a 3-month exchange programme in Birmingham, UK. Out of nowhere, she told me she needed a break. I was really confused and booked a flight to Birmingham. Two days later, she told me it was over before I could even board the plane. I tried to find out why and talk about it. I mean, we had plans for the future and I couldn’t believe someone could just drop everything in a second. But the next thing I know, bam, she’s posting pictures with some other dude. It was tough but it’s okay—I learnt some lessons, saved some money, and now my love life’s back on track.”
Keith, 25

“I was in an LDR in poly. She went to Australia to study and shared a room with one of our mutual friends. I only found out after we broke up that she was cheating on me the whole time. We were always fighting over Skype, and there were so many double standards. She was so controlling, always expecting me to tell her if I go out partying. But in reality, she was the one who was sleeping around like crazy overseas. I found out because that roommate was telling all my friends about her multiple one night stands. But I was pretty over our relationship by the time we’d broken up.”
Hasaan, 25

“I’ve only been in one serious relationship. We weren’t in the same poly so meeting up became more difficult. She was constantly around this guy from her CCA who had liked her since year one in poly. Then when I was overseas, she slept with him. She came clean, but at that moment it was just a void in my mind. I figured if her heart wasn’t with me, there’d be no point trying. I swept it under the rug, but it hit me later when I rekindled old flames by talking to her. Luckily my best friend talked some sense into me; he saved me from making a huge mistake. I’ve learnt a great deal, and have matured since. Let bygones be bygones.”
Eugene, 24

Singaporean Guys Who Were Cheated On Share How They Coped With Betrayal

It’s hard to deal with a betrayal like having your significant other cheat on you and demean the relationship you two shared. But if we can take away anything from the stories shared by these Singaporean guys who were cheated on, it’s that time can heal wounds. Even if it takes a while.

This article was first published on 23 January 2017 and last updated on 22 October 2023. 

Also read:

I Left My 10-Year Relationship After My Husband Cheated Twice & Found Love Again On Dating Apps At 32

The post 10 Singaporean Guys Who’ve Been Cheated On Share Their Experiences appeared first on ZULA.sg.