7 People Share What It’s Like Growing Up Mixed-Race In Singapore

What it’s like growing up mixed-race in Singapore  

In a melting pot like Singapore, why does being mixed-raced garner such big reactions? Growing up Chindian, I’ve had my fair share of people asking “What race are you?” and “Wow so exotic!” from people I encounter daily. After 21 years of the same questions, I’ve grown to get used to it, so I usually just smile and explain my ethnicity since I know they are asking purely out of curiosity.  

My racial background can be quite hard for a stranger to understand. My mother is Chinese and my father is Indian, which makes me Chindian. However, I grew up learning Malay as my mother tongue in school. My mother caught me daydreaming in my kindergarten Chinese class and immediately knew that I would be hopeless at the language, especially since I couldn’t even write my name. So, she made me learn Malay instead. When people find out that both my siblings can speak Chinese, and I’m the odd one out, it gets even more confusing for people to understand.

My parents and I when I was younger.

I can recall a few incidents from my childhood when I was out with my mother, and many strangers would go up to her and ask who I was. Whenever said I was her daughter, they would look genuinely shocked before quickly trying to change the subject. 

I could sort of understand their intentions because I think I look more Indian when compared to my siblings, but I can’t deny that it stung a bit. 

My siblings and I.

Because of this, I’ve always felt a slight disconnect from my racial identity even though I’ve been acquainted with Chinese customs since I was a child.  Additionally, my father doesn’t consider himself to be a ‘traditional’ Indian to begin with, because he can’t speak his native language and never really forced any of his family’s traditions on us. 

As a result, I never felt that I was enough to be considered a ‘real’ Chinese or Indian. The race on the back of my IC says Indian and it just confused me because I’ve never considered myself to be fully Indian. I remember even feeling jealous of my siblings who got to put Indian-Chinese on their ICs when I was never given the option to do the same. While I’m mostly at peace with this now, I admit that I still think about this from time to time. 

 

Since I know that I surely couldn’t be alone in feeling like this, I’ve spoken to 7 fellow mixed-raced Singaporeans who shared their experiences about what it’s like growing up in Singapore. If you can relate, hopefully, their experiences provide some solidarity and insights on how to come to terms with your own cultural identity. 

“I’ve always been told I’m not Malay enough.” 

Image courtesy of Ananisa. 

“My family rarely spoke in Malay mainly because my dad’s Malay is not the strongest. My mom usually spoke in Malay but the rest of us would answer in English. So, my command of the language has always been quite formal because all I’ve ever known is from textbook Malay lessons instead of conversational Malay. That made a lot of people see me as just a “fake Malay”, which honestly hurt at times because I’ve always loved my Malay culture.

When people ask me [what race I am], I usually tell them my whole life story. My dad is Eurasian, with mixed Portuguese and Pinoy blood, from what we know. My mom is Malay, with Sri Lankan blood too. But the short story is, I’m Eurasian. 

Growing up, I got to celebrate both Hari Raya and Christmas. Whenever I post both holidays on Instagram, people would always be confused and ask me “So which one are you?”. It honestly made me prouder to say I’m both! I think experiencing both cultures really made me who I am today. It made me appreciate other holidays too because learning about different cultures is actually so beautiful. “ 

– Ananisa, 20 

“Growing up mixed in Singapore often means feeling like you’re never fully part of either side.”

Image courtesy of Rania.

“I’m half British and half Malay or Malay-Caucasian. Growing up, especially in secondary school, I remember getting called things like “coloniser” or “whitewashed”, which I know probably wasn’t meant to be taken too hard. But at that age, I remember comments like that being enough that they made me feel a little ostracised. 

I really appreciate my ethnic background. For the most part, being mixed doesn’t feel like a constant challenge or something that defines every aspect of my life. But at times, there’s this underlying feeling that I need to prove that I belong. People sometimes make assumptions about my identity—whether it’s questioning my connection to my Malay heritage or assuming I don’t understand local cultures. It’s not always a huge issue, those moments do remind me that being mixed in Singapore still comes with certain expectations. That said, I wouldn’t change anything about my background. I love that I get to experience and embrace both sides of my heritage. 

However, I’d say that it’s okay to not have everything figured out. Identity isn’t something that needs to fit into a box, and being mixed means you have the freedom to embrace different aspects of who you are in your own way. People might try to define you or make assumptions, but at the end of the day, you are the one who gets to decide what your identity means to you. I don’t think it’s about proving that you belong—it’s about knowing that you do, as you are. Even if there are moments of doubt, you’re not alone in feeling that way. Just focus on growing into the person you want to be, beyond the labels, and trust that you’ll find a sense of belonging in your own time.”

– Rania, 21

“There’s a constant awareness that you are “other” to the mainstream.” 

Image courtesy of Beat.

“I typically tell people I’m half British, half Singaporean Chinese, though that definition doesn’t sit well with me because I was raised in an entirely Chinese household.

Even as a kid, when people saw my mom carrying me around, they would comment on my looks, saying I looked very ang moh and that mixed babies were so cute. These “ang moh” became even more pronounced when I attended a neighbourhood primary school. I have a Caucasian last name, and my first name is not the easiest to pronounce. My name was always a point of scrutiny alongside the way I looked. One of the most common questions I got was, “Do you speak Chinese?”. That, along with “What is your race?”. These questions come up almost every time I meet someone new. More so than in other countries, in Singapore, you’re often defined by your racial identity before anything else. And it’s not something that disappeared after childhood—it followed me into adulthood.

I think what I struggle with most is constantly being defined by my race. That’s something I find incredibly unique to Singapore. I don’t pass as white—I look very mixed—but overseas, people tend to read me as Chinese or Asian, so I rarely have to break down my heritage immediately upon meeting someone. Instead, I get asked annoying questions like “Where are you from?”, which is its own form of microaggression. But in Singapore, because of the CMIO model and the country’s racial framework, you’re consistently defined by race, and it gets tedious.”

– Beat, 29

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“I’ve come to learn and accept that my identity comes with the way I choose to act as a person, rather than my genetic makeup.”

“Although I am mixed Malay and Chindian by blood, I would define my race mainly as Malay, as both my parents were raised with Malay culture and so was I. When I was younger, there were times when I felt confused about my racial identity. Whenever someone asked me about my race, I would be unsure what to tell them as I wasn’t sure how to define my race myself. 

My general feelings about being mixed in Singapore are rather neutral. I think mixed people are common in Singapore. From a certain perspective, I could see it being somewhat positive, as I feel like it takes a certain level of openness for the parents of mixed children to accept and learn each other’s cultures, which may also be instilled into the way they raise their children. 

Identity is a rather complex topic. You should try to understand that your identity isn’t wholly defined by your genetic makeup. Learning about the different cultures that your parents came from can help you to better understand yourself as you learn which parts of the cultures you relate more to and that you would choose to integrate into your life.”

– Anon, 26 

“Growing up mixed to me honestly doesn’t feel any different.”

“Singapore being a multi-racial country plays such a huge factor to anyone who’s growing up mixed or not, as there is always a sense of being just one race. 

I have honestly never experienced feeling different from my peers or classmates, and I do think it might be because I don’t look entirely mixed. Even then, the people that I surround myself with have never made race or religion an issue or something for me to question. 

With that, however, this nation and its society are by no means perfect. There are people out there of certain mixes that certainly have stories of being ostracised, feeling different from their group of friends, or even being looked at oddly. It truly depends on how lucky you are and who you happen to walk by or sit on a bus on a certain day. Some encounters might get you odd looks that’ll make you question yourself, while others might get you smiles instead. 

But, no matter what people say or think, always know that your identity will forever be special and unique as you get to experience and celebrate different cultures or occasions with your loved ones yearly! Do not let the bad parts of society lure you to feel anything less than special.”

– Anon, 21 

“The best of both worlds.” 

Image courtesy of Yrika.

“As a Filipino-Chinese person, I think [that being mixed-race] the best of both worlds because I can celebrate Chinese New Year, but I can also celebrate Christmas, which is what a lot of Filipinos find very important. 

As an adult, I’ve learned to embrace and love my uniqueness, and am very proud to have two sides of me and two very different family lives for the most part. Yet, I recall an incident in primary school that has stuck with me for a long time. My school had a lot of students of different races. Other than the standard races in Singapore, there were a lot of students from Nepal, the Philippines, China, Australia, and Indonesia. Overall, I was privileged enough to not have experienced anything too horrible directed at my racial identity. 

However, during Racial Harmony Day, our class had to split into different racial groups. I remember being so confused about who to sit with—my Chinese friends or my Filipino friends. I kept thinking that I needed to stick to that one label. Because of this, I’ve always felt like I was not enough of either ethnicity.

Despite holding a Filipino passport, I never felt Filipino enough. I ate Filipino food often but could barely speak Tagalog. On the other hand, I also didn’t feel Chinese enough, because I wasn’t very good at the language. I also wasn’t very close with my extended Chinese family due to the language barrier, though I have tried to communicate with them the best I could.”

– Yrika, 21 

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“It’s like being part of both worlds but never feeling completely at home in either.”

Image courtesy of Emma.

“Growing up mixed in Singapore often meant navigating the fine line between different cultural expectations. It’s an experience of constantly adapting to different environments because of people’s assumptions. I’d be speaking Chinese with one group and English with another, but I never quite felt like I fully belonged to either. I wasn’t the best at Chinese, and I could barely communicate a sentence in Malay. The experience was defined by this fluidity and also by constantly being asked, “So, which race are you?” 

I remember being in school when the teacher asked us to declare our ethnic backgrounds. I didn’t really feel like I fit into the simple categories of Chinese or Malay. There wasn’t an “other” category yet, so it just made me very confused because choosing one would mean identifying with one race more. That feeling of being “in-between” stood out to me, especially because my classmates would easily identify with one ethnic group, but I had to explain that I was mixed. I could see them trying to understand, but I always felt like I was straddling two worlds, not fully at home in either.

I learned it’s okay not to have all the answers. Your identity is yours to define, and it doesn’t have to fit into a neat little box. Embrace all the parts of who you are and remember that it’s your experiences and perspectives that make you who you are, not the labels others place on you. Being mixed means you get to carry a richness of cultures, and that’s something to be proud of. At the end of the day, race isn’t all that matters. I feel like your character and personality are what define you and make you truly special. Race is secondary.”

– Emma, 19 

Singaporeans share what it is like to grow up mixed-race

As a mixed-race person, you’ll probably never escape the questions regarding your ethnicity or the comments about your looks but it’s important to remember that the only person who can determine your identity is you. 

Plus you get to celebrate double the holidays! 

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