30 Important Questions To Ask Your S/O Before You Get Married

Questions to ask before marriage

Divorce rates are climbing year on year in Singapore, with recent studies showing that the highest rates of annulling a marriage tend to happen between the 5 to 10-year mark.

It’s not entirely surprising—no matter how progressive Singaporean society gets, people are still pressured to get a good job, then get married, buy a house, and have kids. This pressure, when coupled with the fact that you can only nab affordable housing as a married couple thanks to the BTO system, means many couples rush into marriage before they’re truly ready, driven more by practical concerns than emotional preparedness.

What does it mean to be ready for marriage, though? While everyone’s definitions may be different, both parties being on the same page about their values, views, and life goals feels like the bare minimum before you make it down the altar. Having these conversations isn’t easy, so we’ve prepared 30 important questions to ask your significant other before marriage.

On marriage, sex, and relationships

1. Why do you want to get married?
2. What does marriage mean to you?
3. What do you expect from me as a partner, and from this relationship?
4. What kind of wedding do you want?
5. How will we handle unexpected obstacles as a married couple?
6. How can we best support each other during difficult times?
7. How important is physical intimacy in our relationship?
8. What are your expectations for how often we have sex?
9. How do you feel about exploring new things in our sex life together?
10. What constitutes cheating to you?
11. How much alone time do you need?

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On family and having children

1. What role will your family play in our marriage?
2. Do you see yourself stepping into a caretaker role for elderly family members? What will you expect from me, in this scenario?
3. How involved do you think your extended family should be in our lives? 
4. How do you feel about having children, and how many would you like?
5. When do you see yourself having children?
6. What kind of parent do you see yourself being?
7. How will we split the chores?

On life goals and aspirations?

1. What are your long-term career goals?
2. Where do you see yourself in the next 10 years?
3. What defines success in life, to you? How do you plan to achieve that?

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On finances

1. How do you manage your finances and budget? 
2. Do you have any debt or financial obligations? Do you expect me to help with those obligations?
3. How will we merge our financial lives?
4. How will we split our household expenses? 
5. How will we approach saving and investing for the future?

On values and beliefs

1. What are your core values?
2. What are your key political beliefs?
3. How important is religion and/or spirituality to you? What role or impact will that have in our relationship?
4. What are your non-negotiables?

Questions you should ask before marriage

We hope these will spark deep conversations, and help you both feel more prepared for a lifetime of commitment!

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All images courtesy of TheSmartLocal and Unsplash.