Chick flicks aren’t for everyone. Synonyms include girly movies, cry-fests, and self-pity parties. But if you think they’re simply superficial or vapid (refer below), you’ve pegged them all wrong. Because honey, let me teach you a thing or two. Eight to be exact.
Dictionary definition: without liveliness or spirit; dull or tedious
Remember that time when you spoke to a shallow douchebag over Tinder? Yes, he, and that conversation, were vapid AF.
Dictionary definition: subject to, led by, or indicative of a sudden, odd notion or unpredictable change; erratic. It kinda means you’re a bit sot.
If I, or any man, could encapsulate the female gender under one word, it would be in the exact way Alicia Silverstone described her almost-encounter to sleep with a gay man: capricious.
Am I the only one who related to Cher on a spiritual level when she lamented about an embarrassing misinterpretation of a man’s feelings towards her?
Okay never mind, pretend I didn’t say that. I change my mind. (Lol, how capricious of me.)
Dictionary definition: characterized by strong and turbulent or conflicting emotion.
In the show that got us swooning over Heath Ledger, he sure raised the bar for men on how to handle a hot-headed woman. Because his character, Patrick Verona, sure put up with a lot before he could win the heart of our protagonist Kat.
Because hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Comparatively, you could say your naggy Ah Ma tests your patience with her tempestuous, yet unyielding opinions on dating.
“Mewling rampallian” was also used to describe Kat, which is synonymous, but we’ll leave that intermediate level to the ostentatious linguists.
Dictionary definition: involving immoral or dishonourable actions and motives; arousing moral distaste and contempt.
Remember that ratchet night when you were prancing to Gangnam Style on the table top? Yeah girl, sordid.
Dictionary definition: the most perfect embodiment of something.
Not exactly counted as a chick flick; but with themes of self-discovery and courage, it’s basically an equivalent. And I had to include the film that captured the quintessence of Life.
It’s like how one could say the quintessence of a girl’s utmost basic bitch instinct is her immediate gravitation to the Snapchat dog filter.
Dictionary definition: originating in or based on observation or experience
Based solely on physical observation, Harry concluded that Sally was a chiobu. His initial stance was “empirically, you are attractive”. While that progressed into something more throughout the movie, it’s not recommended unless you live in a rom-com fantasy where you have the wit and charm to pull off this apathy.
Or you could go 12 years a slave in the friendzone. Seems like many men have followed in Harry’s footsteps. Or at least that’s what I’ve gathered, empirically.
Dictionary definition: 1. crazy; foolish. 2. drunk.
This slang isn’t used often in our time but it’s always good to expand your general knowledge. And it just feels so much more classy when it’s of the French persuasion.
Pull an Audrey Hepburn the next time an Ah Lian picks a fight with you by politely letting her know she’s acting “tres fou”. If you can’t beat her, confuse her till she pisses herself off. You wouldn’t want to be caught acting any fouer than her, after all.
Dictionary definition: 1. stand astride over; straddle. 2. dominate.
“Why, Man, he doth bestride the narrow world like a colossus” See? Chick flicks are totally cultured. The influence of Regina George even has me quoting Shakespeare. And it was truly poetic how the class teacher translated it to “Why is he so huge and obnoxious”.
Just like how Regina bestrode the high school with her popularity, bestride the Chick Flick fandom with your new-found vocabulary.
I hope by the end of this you’ll see that there’s more to our beloved feminine films than meets the eye. You can now consider yourself a grade-A William Shakespeare. Or at least, Britney ShakeSpeare.
Yes, you do need more plushies.
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