It’s a Friday night and you’re down at Clarke Quay. The squad looks lit and you know you’re slaying in that new outfit. As you step into the club, a familiar buzz runs through you—the night is young and infinite possibilities await. After some tequila shots, the guest DJ takes over the deck and everyone’s ready to hit the dancefloor.
But within seconds, the good mood can quickly shift and turn sour. With intoxicated people on the prowl for a hookup, an innocent night out can go from fun to sleazy.
From wandering hands to unwanted advances, we spoke to both Singaporean girls and guys who had first-hand encounters with thirsty strangers in the club.
*Names were changed to protect identities
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The first time I went clubbing, I hit it off with a gentleman, or so I thought.
After chatting for a while, he leaned over and asked if he could bring me home that night. I wasn’t having it and tried backing away. Undeterred, he put his hands on my butt and lifted me off my feet. Instinctively, I wrapped my legs around his body to prevent myself from falling backwards.
Panicking, I kicked and yelled for him to put me down. Though he acquiesced, he dragged me into the club’s toilet cubicle. He started unbuckling his jeans and tried to force me to give him a blowjob.
Luckily, the club’s bouncer witnessed the incident and banged on the door till he let me out. I darted out of the cubicle and left the club. In the cab home, I felt dirty and ashamed, like it was my fault because I was ‘leading him on’.
Chanice, 23
I remember once, there was a young girl getting progressively drunk at a table. The more she drank, the higher her skirt rode, exposing her underwear.
The guys she was with then ‘babysat’ her by taking turns to put her on their laps, touching her inappropriately.
No one standing around the table stopped those guys. In fact, they were egging the guys on, laughing all the while.
Lorraine, 25
My friends and I were on the dancefloor when a scuffle broke out near us. Two guys were shoving at each other and their friends were trying to hold them back.
From all the yelling, we deduced that one of the guys had hit on the other guy’s female friend, and put his hand up her skirt.
The accused tried to defend himself, shouting, “Why cannot? When I come club the girls always like it when I finger them on the dancefloor”.
I was shookt. This guy actually thought it was alright to try to finger a girl in the club, and it wasn’t the first time he’s tried doing so.
Wenyi, 24
I was out dancing with my friends when a guy walked down the staircase leading to the VIP lounge. When he saw us, he snapped his fingers and whistled, trying to get us to follow him upstairs.
Disgusted, we ignored him, but he kept trying to get our attention. Exasperated by the lack of response, he came up to us.
He then tapped on my friend’s shoulder and extended a hand to her, insisting that she should come with him. I can’t believe he demonstrated such entitled behaviour. We clearly weren’t interested, were we not obvious enough?
Clara, 20
One time, I was out with my friends when we spotted a lone guy on the dance floor. He was looking at the girls around him, targeting one to hook up with.
As I was only accompanied by one other girl, he probably thought I was an easy target. He came up behind me and tried to grind his erect penis on me, with his hands on my waist.
The first time he did that, I moved away. The second time, I shoved him away and told him to stop bothering me. Undeterred, he went in for a third try. Pissed off, I turned around and told him if he did it again, I’d punch his face.
He backed off that time, but turned to the girl that was literally next to me, and proceeded to grope her. Totally ruined my night.
Nina, 25
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For a minute, my friends left me on the dancefloor to get some drinks. Seeing that I was alone, the girl beside me tried pulling me up onto the podium with her.
Despite my repeated refusal, she would not leave me alone so I got up onto the podium to appease her. The moment I stepped on, she began grinding up on me, screaming, “OMG you’re so sexy!”. I didn’t know how to handle the situation, so I just smiled awkwardly and tried not to fall off.
Suddenly, she told me she needed to go. As she was leaving, she hugged me and kissed my cheek. She then grabbed my hand, kissed it and said, “I’ll come back for you”. I know she was trying to be flirtatious, but her being drunk and pushy as hell just made the entire situation uncomfortable.
Jake, 23
Once, I got stuck in between two girls at the club. They kept grinding up against me, and it made me extremely uneasy. I tried moving away, but being sandwiched tightly between them made it difficult to escape.
The movement caused one of the girls to stumble onto the people in front of us. Annoyed, they told me to chill, and to just enjoy the dancing.
I felt helpless and appalled. If guys grind against a girl without permission, they’re seen as perverts committing sexual harassment. But if girls do the same, it somehow makes it alright?
Don, 24
A guest DJ was spinning that night so the club was more crowded than usual. Not wanting to lose my friends, we formed a single-file chain, holding each other’s hands as we walked through the crowd.
Trailing behind us was a group of guys who were trying to squeeze through as well. One of them then thought it would be funny to link up with our chain by grabbing onto the last person in our group.
Unfortunately, the last person was me, and regrettably, he wasn’t interested in holding my hand. He put his entire hand up my skirt and started groping my butt.
I whipped around, and grabbed his hand and twisted it. His friends realised what was going on and apologised for his actions. They reasoned that he was drunk, and asked us to let the situation go.
Bruh, drunk or not, you don’t just go around touching random people’s butts.
Qifa, 24
We were out having a bro’s night out. One of my single friends wanted to get with a girl that night. Fuelled by liquid courage, he pointed to a girl that he had been eyeing and shouted: “THAT GIRL, I WANT THAT ONE”.
While the girl ignored him, her boyfriend was not so forgiving. Having heard my friend’s outburst, he made his way to our table, fists clenched. The dude was thickset with bulging muscles. The odds didn’t seem very optimistic. It was not surprising that my friend needed stitches and we all got thrown out of the club.
Occasionally, we bring up this memory, and recount it fondly as ‘the night we almost died for p*ssy’. Though I laugh along, I can’t help but feel slightly disgusted. If my friend could have just kept his mouth shut, and not point at the girl like he was ordering chicken rice, we wouldn’t have had to stick up for his stupid ass.
Greg, 24
I was out clubbing with my boyfriend and we started to get intimate after a few drinks. Seeking privacy, we headed to a deserted staircase at the back of the building.
Opening the door to the staircase, we saw a man on top of a woman. To our shock and horror, we realised she was passed out and the guy was forcing himself on her.
My boyfriend ran to him, punched his face, and the douchebag immediately ran off.
Lili, 22
It doesn’t matter what you wear, or what your gender is, touching other people without their permission is never okay. However, clubbing doesn’t always have to be associated with sexual assault or harassment. By behaving more mindfully, we can work together to create a safer environment for everyone.
Whether you’re new to clubbing or not, make sure you party with responsible people you can trust. It’s never a good idea to get dead drunk but if land yourself in such circumstances, you should at least have trustworthy friends who can get you home safely.
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