What Would Zula Do

WWZD is where we answer submissions from our readers, from queries to confessions or even recurring dreams.While we are no experts in this thing called life, sometimes all you need is a listening ear from your e-BFF, anonymously.

Write to us at bit.ly/wwzulado.

WWZD: My Crush From A Dating Site Went Silent After A Last “Bye Bye”

Submission:

Dear Zula, 

I have a crush on a guy from a dating site that I’ve been texting for 3-4 months and met once. He’s a decent 27-year-old guy and mentioned that he fears entering a relationship because he is worried for the girl. After meeting for the first time, things went well for the first week and subsequently, his replies became lesser and slower. 

One night, I texted “bye bye” to him when I was drunk. He replied “bye bye” the next morning. I stopped texting him after that and he didn’t initiate any conversation as well, and it has been a while now.

I’m not experienced in relationships and I don’t know what to do next. What should I do?

—Y, female, 24

This submission has been edited for grammar and clarity.

Zula Says

Dear Y,

 

Hate to break it to you gurl, but it’s pretty clear that any semblance of this romance is o-v-e-r. The fact that he hasn’t reached out to you for a while now shows that he’s no longer pursuing anything further with you.

Why might he “fear entering a relationship” out of “worry for the girl” though? Is he perhaps a self-proclaimed player? Or is it because he hasn’t sorted his life out yet, and is afraid he might not be a dependable partner? Whichever the case, it seems like he is not ready for a relationship and is probably in need of some soul-searching.

Anyhoo, the reason for his fear is inconsequential since his interest in communicating with you started dwindling even before you bade him goodbye. Although your goodbye text was sent in an inebriated state, you did the right thing in walking away from this. Continue standing your ground—life is too short to waste time pining over guys who don’t text back.

The best thing you can do for yourself now is to keep your options open and try to meet more new people. I promise there are great guys out there—you just have to be patient and avoid putting all your hopes on one person when you’ve barely gotten to know them on a face-to-face basis.

All the best in your future dating adventures!

—Rachel

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Dear Y,

Sis, it’s time to get back on the dating site.

Looks like your relationship died a slow, agonising death for the short time it existed. If you are a romantic like me, it’s hard to let go of any possibilities of romance. However, in Singapore where gender roles are well-defined, if the man shows no interest, it’s game over.

But don’t worry, gather some friends with influencer potential and get them to art direct a photoshoot. 

Try this dewy makeup look courtesy of Mongabong, put on your most fabulous clothes and strike some poses with a minimal, yet poetic background (some greenery will be a bonus).

Pick out 3 of your best shots and give your dating site profile a makeover by writing a semi-hilarious bio and start swiping—you are back in the game. 

—Asher 

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Cover photo by Bruce Mars/Pexels