If you’re a young adult in the 21st century, you’ve probably used an online dating app in the hope of finding love. You’ve probably also realised how difficult it is to maintain a sustained conversation, never mind a date.
But after some relentless swiping on a few apps, I overcame the odds and found my current boyfriend amidst the hordes of f*ckboys.
What I’ve realised from my experience is that most guys underestimate the power of a good dating app bio. While a picture paints a thousand words, a good dating app bio can give you that extra edge, encouraging your potential lady love to swipe right.
So for all those guys who haven’t had much luck so far, here are 8 tips you can use to make sure you’re not cock-blocking yourself, and help up your dating app game.
*Names were changed to protect identities.
When you explicitly state that you’re not an average guy, you’re more often than not confirming that you are in fact ‘just like all the other guys’.
I feel that such guys overcompensate as they feel the need to prove themselves to be unique individuals. Chances are, our conversation will be awkward or boring as he’d try too hard. Show, not tell, guys!
What other girls think:
“I always swipe left when I see this on a Tinder bio. The ‘not your typical average kinda guy’ is the slightly more annoying cousin of the ‘typical Singaporean guy’. At least the latter is straightforward in admitting that they’re just ordinary, and not have an inflated sense of self.”
Erika, 23
This is my number one rule: no matter how cute you are, I’ll pass on your dating profile if you don’t have anything written in the bio section. From experience, this has been helpful in sieving out the f*ckboys and those unlikely to message me back.
Having no bio can say two things: “I don’t need words because I’m not serious about dating and just wanna hook up” or “I’m just here for something to do while I poop”.
What other girls think:
“When I can’t decide if I should swipe right, I’ll look at their profile bio to see if they have a sense of humour. If a guy’s too lazy to fill in their own bio, what makes you think they’ll bother keeping up a conversation with a stranger?”
Brenda, 23
While I don’t discount that you can meet some genuinely nice people and become friends on dating apps, it’s very rare.
It’s called dating app for a reason. Those who think otherwise are either overly optimistic, lonely or foolishly naive.
Worse still are those already in a relationship ‘looking for people to chat with’. People in happy relationships don’t spend time on dating apps. Chances are they’re straight up cheating or on the hunt for a new girlfriend.
What other girls think:
“I’ve had several bad experiences where guys claim they want to be friends. They lure you into this false sense of security by appearing non-threatening and pull a 180 when you match with them. Granted not all guys are like this, but a few bad eggs can spoil the whole basket. Now I’m more cautious of making ‘friends’ on dating apps.”
Chloe, 24
I love travelling and going on adventures, and I’d love matching with guys who share the same interests. However, some guys can go overboard with their humble-bragging.
It’s nice to meet well-travelled and open-minded people. But when everything about you revolves around ‘wanderlust’, places you’ve been and how travelling makes you ‘cultured and experienced’, it makes me wonder if there’s more to who you are than where you’ve been.
What other girls think:
“I feel like you can split people who travel into two groups: those who travel for the ‘gram, and those who travel to experience. The former I have an issue with. It’s impossibly basic and just a show of privilege.”
Qais, 25
While it’s great that you’re offering information about yourself in a short, concise manner, it’s also not the best way to communicate your interests.
Looking at a profile like this, I’d think that the user could be too bochup to craft something eloquent. Or perhaps he’s hiding bad grammar? It’s just unimaginative and doesn’t show off your personality.
What other girls think:
“This style of writing gives off the impression that you’re either unable to speak in full sentences, or are trying to be hipster. You know, when guys write something like ‘1.78m, Scorpio, ENTP’. Yeah, I get that it’s clean and minimalist, but it doesn’t really tell me anything about who you are as a person.”
Janice, 18
I cannot emphasise this enough: don’t do this. It’s cheesy, it makes me cringe. You might think you’re trying to be funny but you’re really not.
Here are some examples, you be the judge:
“Rules are boring learn to be flexible. Im not encouraging ppl to break rules but be smart”. S, 25
“Make each day your masterpiece” D, 29
“A very unique person that you can never imagine I can be. Just like every man that needs a woman.” W, 23
“You miss 100% of the shots that you don’t take” J, 22
What other girls think:
“I don’t like it when guys add in quotes they’ve plucked off from the internet. It gives off the impression that they’re not clever enough and have to rip off someone’s work to sound ‘deep’.”
Sonam, 24
While it’s a good thing to share about yourself on your dating profile, it becomes a problem when there’s too much information. Dating app biographies should offer a short summary of who you are while conveying your personality.
When there is too much info, there is a tendency that there’ll be too many descriptors and/or adjectives thrown at the reader. The information can appear disorganised and overwhelming, detracting rather than adding to your profile.
What other girls think:
“I think the best profiles are kept short and sweet. Anything more than five or six sentences is too much. You’re writing an intro, not a GP essay.”
Pat, 24
Being unkind is such a turn-off. Regardless, you should be polite to people. A truly nice person is nice for the sake of being nice and doesn’t expect anything in return.
If you’re only gracious to people who you perceive to have value to you, that’s just fake. It’s not a gentlemanly thing to do, and a trait girls do not want in a partner.
What other girls think:
“On dating apps, many girls don’t reply messages and it can be tiring to keep up a conversation, so I get it when guys are sick of uninteresting conversation. But you shouldn’t expect people to entertain you. It’s just an entitled mindset which is so unattractive.”
Li, 22
At the end of the day, what girls look out for is a short description about yourself which showcases your personality.
A good bio with coherent sentences, a funny quote about yourself, and good grammar is what would make a girl hit the ‘like’ button.
Related: 20 Singaporean Girls Reveal What attracts Them To Guys On Dating Apps
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