Dog Owners As Girlfriends
On top of dealing with incessant barking and unwanted (wet) noses sticking into our business, dog owners have mastered the art of loving the occasionally unlovable.
We’ve had long arduous hours of hands-on practice of loving and being responsible for others. Placing someone else’s interests above our own is second nature to us.
Of course there are sudden overwhelming bursts of affection we have to deal with. We’re really good at balancing between wanting to smother someone with kisses and suppressing murderous intent—especially when our favorite shoes have been chewed half to death.
Apart from controlling our bipolar tendencies, here are some reasons why dog owners make great girlfriends.
1. We have a role model to look up to when it comes to unconditional love
Dogs demonstrate their unwavering love for us in simple ways. They do it by bringing their favourite toy to us even after receiving a huge scolding. Or by consistently greeting us with excitement at the door every single day even when we’re hardly home to spend time with them.
Even after being neglected, dogs still show us how to be there for others even when they’re given every reason not to.
2. We know how to deal with a hangry person/animal
Have you ever had to deal with the constant whining and scratching of a hungry dog? Or little smelly surprises in unsuspecting corners of the house? Dog owners know that food is the best bribery and deters unwanted behaviour.
I’m pretty sure that applies to humans too.
3. We read minds better
You know, that look they give when they need to be let out to pee. Or when they did something horribly wrong.
After spending extended periods of time with someone, you inevitably recognize nonverbal cues and pick up on suspicious behaviour. Because of that, dog owners have also become really good mind readers too.
4. Statistics reveal we’re less likely to cheat
Besides learning how to be faithful like our best friends, out of the 1000 surveyed, dog owners were the smallest group of people to stray.
5. We understand that commitment means loving someone even when they pee and shit all over the place
Sometimes, people do shitty things. But dogs literally take a dump on us. What do we do? We lose our tempers, raise our voices and smack them, only to end up sayang-ing them anyway.
We can get batshit crazy in the moment and end up doing or saying things we may regret. But at the end of the day, we’re sticking with you because we’re committed and that’s what commitment’s all about.
6. Speaking of defecating and urinating, we’re not at all disgusted when discussing strange bowel movements
Picking up poop and cleaning up pee has become part of our lifestyle. So we rarely get irked by bowel movements. We’ve gotten the all-access pass to everything ranging from diarrhoea to puke.
But the worst of them all are the crazy smelly farts. After which, conversations with our dogs usually go like this:
Us: “WHAT ON EARTH DID YOU EAT THAT COULD PRODUCE SUCH A HELLISH SMELL?!”
Dog: *Looks up at us momentarily with ears twitching before returning to whatever it was doing*
We never get an answer. But we still put up with it anyway.
7. Survey shows we’re more satisfied with life than people without dogs
According to a study conducted in Manhattanville College in New York, dog owners typically have greater life satisfaction.
8. We get how sitting beside someone in total silence can bring immense comfort
A dog’s company is the epitome of comforting silence. I remember when I was a lot younger and my first dog was still around.
I had just gotten a huge scolding and was bawling my eyes out alone in my room. My dog must have heard me, as he started scratching my door and didn’t stop until I let him in.
I’ll never forget how I felt so comforted, knowing that my dog understood that I was upset and decided to sit with me. It did wonders, just having his steady presence by my side.
9. We know how love can be felt in the eyes of someone else
Another look dog owners will understand is seeing the words “I love you” swimming in the eyes of another. I’m not being melodramatic, but you probably wouldn’t understand how legit this concept is unless you’re a dog owner yourself.
Dogs teach us how to communicate love with unspoken words. This comes in handy when your partner is in a tough place and you can’t find the right words to make him feel better.
10. We don’t neglect responsibilities based on our mood
It’s easy to do things for someone when you’re willing to do it. What about doing something when you don’t want to? Dog owners have been tested in this area, sometimes to excruciating extents.
We understand that in a commitment, we can’t flake out just because we don’t feel like doing something. We can’t possibly say, “I won’t feed you your only meal of the day ‘cause I don’t feel like it”.
Doing things out of commitment and responsibility is something we’re very familiar with and we’re cognizant of how this uphill battle may prove to be worthy. Especially when we come home to friendly kisses on the face and unwanted drool all over our clothes.
Best Kind Of Teachers
Ultimately, dog owners have an edge at learning what it means to love someone because we’re blessed to have the best teachers around.
Dogs don’t just teach us how to love better, they also teach us how to be better human beings. If that doesn’t count for anything, I don’t know what would.
Just remember one thing: if you want to date a girl with a dog, the dog has to love you first. Make sure of that and your life would be so much easier.