Growing up, many of us were told to study hard to land a respectable job and make big bucks. However, as I got older, I realised that every job is respectable, and there is nothing wrong with pursuing a humble and unconventional profession, such as being a funeral director.
I spoke to Sarah Ang, a female embalmer and funeral director, who runs an all-female embalming team at Serenity Casket & Funerals. Read on to find out how she first ventured into the industry and her perspective on life and death.
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Born into a family who run a casket company, Sarah grew up playing around empty caskets, and used to seeing dead bodies. She didn’t find them scary at all; instead, she was curious, and thought about joining the funeral industry herself.
When Sarah was 19 years old, her father passed away, leaving her mother in charge of running the family business. At that point, Sarah felt the need to join them, to reduce the burden her mother experienced in the male-dominated funeral industry.
“I wanted to “protect” my mother by helping her out,” Sarah said.
Since Sarah didn’t have any experience working in the funeral industry, she started by improving the designs of caskets, and working with the service staff. Not long after, she was inspired by an Australian embalmer who had joined her family’s company.
“I found his way of embalming different from what I had seen before,” Sarah recalled. “My interest in embalming grew, and I wanted to try it out myself.”
With that being said, the Australian embalmer mentored Sarah for a period of time before suggesting that she should head overseas, such as to New Zealand and Australia, to further her knowledge in embalming.
“He was very encouraging and felt that I could pick up even more skills if I studied overseas,” Sarah explained. “He even shared tips and his experience in managing a funeral home.”
However, Sarah’s mother didn’t like her embalming the deceased, and scolded her whenever she snuck into the embalming room. Sarah believed that it was because her mother didn’t want her to directly handle the dead bodies, and be spared the stigma that comes with working in the funeral industry.
Despite her mother’s disapproval, Sarah made her way to New Zealand to further her studies for a year. While she never wanted to make her mother unhappy, she felt that improving her skills in embalming would better serve her clients.
Believe it or not, putting together an all-women embalmers team wasn’t part of Sarah’s plan. It just so happened that her sister-in-law was inspired by Sarah, and wanted to serve as an embalmer too.
“Some of my current employees were actually our previous clients,” Sarah said. “I believe that we have inspired other females, and they want to become embalmers as a way of bidding farewell to the deceased.”
With several female embalmers under her wing, Sarah established Serenity Casket & Funerals, and she also soon noticed the demand for female embalmers in the funeral industry. There were even instances when customers approached them just because they knew them to be an all-female company.
“People have the impression that female embalmers are gentler when handling the deceased, and they pay more attention to details,” Sarah shared.
Considering how her company only has female staff, they are also very supportive of each other. One example Sarah gave was when her employees got in the family way, and she offered them funeral directing duties instead of embalming. This way, they would still receive a steady income while not tiring their bodies by standing for long periods of time.
“We take care of each other like a small community, and we even set up a playroom in the office for employees to bring their young ones to work, in case they are unable to get a babysitter at short notice,” Sarah said.
It has been nine years since Sarah started her embalming team, and Sarah feels that things have changed for the better in the funeral industry.
“It is rare to see females working in the funeral industry,” Sarah commented. “Those who do, usually are joining their family business.”
Today, more females are showing interest in working as embalmers, and some even become funeral directors.
“It is also fascinating that more people prefer to look for female embalmers, especially if the deceased happens to be female,” Sarah added.
Despite the positive shift in attitude towards females working in the funeral industry, Sarah has encountered numerous clients who have belittled female embalmers.
“There was once when I was scolded by a client for “touching” the deceased just because I wanted to help with the touching up,” Sarah revealed. “They believe that females are “dirty” because they menstruate.”
Beyond this incident, Sarah has also had to deal with clients who didn’t want her to direct a funeral ━ just because she is female.
“They asked why I was sent down instead of a man, and initially refused to let me direct the funeral,” Sarah said.
Fortunately, the incident was resolved after Sarah’s mother spoke to the client, and explained who she was in the company. It was only then that the client had a change in attitude and was more willing to allow Sarah to conduct the funeral.
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Outside of Serenity Casket & Funerals, Sarah is a mother of three, a wife, and a daughter. This means that she has had to find a balance between work and family.
“It is challenging because my work isn’t a fixed 9-to-5 job, and I can get called up in the middle of the night,” Sarah explained.
From heading to the hospital, to transferring the deceased into her care, Sarah is busy with work from the moment she takes in a client, and she doesn’t get to rest until the entire process is complete. As such, there have been occasions when she’s had to leave her kids under the care of her colleagues in the office while she worked on embalming a body. Sometimes, her husband and her mother would also take turns to care for her children.
When asked if her children understand what her job entails, Sarah mentioned that “they don’t seem to quite understand the concept yet.” However, they do know that she needs to head out sometimes in the middle of the night to work, and not to have fun.
Because of her irregular working hours, Sarah has also found it challenging to stay connected with her friends. There have been instances when she has had to leave just after arriving at a friend’s gathering.
“Because of the nature of my work, some of them just decided to stop contacting me,” Sarah said. “And I don’t blame them for doing so.”
Now, Sarah only agrees to attend gatherings with her friends when she knows that she can definitely make it.
Having worked in the funeral industry for a long time, Sarah always tells herself and her staff to not attach any emotions to their clients, even though it is hard.
“The hardest part about my job is embalming people that I know,” Sarah shared. “There was once when our burial driver collapsed, and we had to go to work the day after the embalming and funeral.”
“We have no control over life and death. Facing death almost every day makes me treasure the present so much more,” Sarah said.
With that being said, she reminds everyone to not take life for granted, and to always show appreciation and love to those around us.
As of now, Sarah intends to keep at what she does, and plans to organise sharing sessions to educate people on the funeral industry. She hopes that by doing so, more people will understand what to expect when preparing for funerals, and reduce the stigma against those who work in the industry.
For those interested in joining the funeral industry, Sarah believes that they should join a funeral company as a trainee, in order to get a better understanding of the job scope before committing to it.
“Even if you have plans to enrol in a school, they might not accept your application because you lack work experience,” Sarah commented.
Sarah’s story shows that working as an embalmer and a funeral director is a humbling job, and that there is nothing more important than treasuring the present. When it comes to things like life and death, we definitely do not have any control over it, and the best we can do is to live life without regrets.
For more information about Sarah’s all-female embalmer team, visit Serenity Casket & Funerals’ official website.
Watch more about Sarah’s story below:
Photography by Liu Xing Ying.
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