Whether intentional or not, entering the dating pool as a single woman in your 30s can be a daunting experience. On many occasions, potential dates tend to kaypoh why you still haven’t found a partner, some even asking if you’re just desperate to settle down. Urgh.
On the other hand, finding love in your 30s can be extremely rewarding. You can rely on past relationships to better understand your preferences, and even be more vocal about seeking someone who also desires a serious relationship.
Below, we spoke to three Singaporean girls who found love in their 30s, and learnt why it is their best relationship.
“I had three relationships prior to meeting my now-husband when I was 30 years old. The main difference between dating in my 20s and 30s is having proper judgement when it comes to choosing my next partner in life. Even before entering the relationship, you’ll know whether a person is serious about you or not.
Fortunately, I learnt that my now-husband was looking to settle down, and our relationship became much more meaningful because we were able to align our priorities, and I could easily understand his end goals.
I’ve heard people say that single women in their 30s are often considered “leftovers”, but we all know that it isn’t true. Everyone has a different story, and it is unfair to judge them without hearing where they are coming from.
As a word of advice to those who are dating in their 30s, I’d suggest spending at least 3 to 6 months together with your partner before deciding if you want to move on to the next stage in life. You’ll be able to better understand their character, family background, and the way they treat people.”
– Kaitlyn, 42
“The best part about finding love in my 30s is having clarity about who I am as a person, what I can give in the relationship, and what I want from it. It also means enjoying perks like better financial stability. I get to travel more, and share meaningful experiences with my partner without worrying too much about finances.
When I was younger, I didn’t think about my future with my ex-partners in the long run. I just wanted to have fun, and I chose to overlook issues that might have affected the longevity of the relationship, such as religion and goals in life. However, in my late 20s, I started to prioritise such things, and it became important to me to envision a future with my partner.
In my previous relationship, I didn’t stand my ground on things I believed in, or on who I wanted to be as a person. I also avoided confrontation, and my ex and I would often sweep things under the rug rather than address them ‒ communication was clearly lacking in the relationship.
After ending the 8-year relationship, it became clear to me the importance of having communication as the foundation of a strong relationship, and I appreciate that my current partner is amazing at both communicating and listening.
To those who are looking for the one in their 30s, I’d say don’t give up. Love can come at the most unexpected moments in life.”
– Sarah, 31
“Being in a situationship was quite common for me when I was in my early twenties, but once I became part of the 30s club, I no longer wanted to deal with men who weren’t sure if they wanted to be with me. I didn’t want to waste my time, and I knew very well the kind of relationship I wanted to have ‒ to settle down and start a family, mostly because I understood the difficulty of conceiving as I aged.
Fortunately, I met my then-boyfriend on a dating app when I was 31 years old. He was different from other matches, and was clear about his relationship goals too. When we met for the first time, I could tell that he was going to be the one, probably because of the way he carried himself, and his honesty regarding what he expected from a relationship.
After dating for 1.5 years, he popped the question, and we got married not long after.
Rather than labelling single ladies in their 30s who are in the dating pool as desperate, I’d consider them as individuals who want the best for themselves. There is nothing wrong with staying single until the right person comes along.”
– Cadey, 36
When it comes to finding your significant other, there is always hope as long as you don’t give up. As seen from the stories above, these ladies show that love will always find a way, no matter when and where you are ‒ even if you’re not in your “prime” as labelled by society. Sometimes, all you have to do is to have a lil’ faith and confidence in yourself.
Cover: TheSmartLocal, Image courtesy of Kaitlyn
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