Imagine a romance novel with all the best tropes—enemies to lovers, friends to lovers, slow-burn, and second-chance romance. Sound like a good book to you? Well, it’s actually a real-life story about a Singaporean couple. Enter Brendan, who goes under Lost & Found on Lemon8. In a now-popular post, he documents his love story with his fiancée, Ruth, and their journey from being primary 1 table buddies to an upcoming marriage.
In Singapore’s current dating landscape, full of situationships and endless scrolling on dating apps, it’s always refreshing to read about couples with love stories that go against the grain. Here’s how Brendan and Ruth went from childhood classmates to an engagement, in case you need your daily dose of hope that true love is still out there.
It wasn’t love at first sight, though. In fact, it was quite the opposite. Brendan and Ruth were allocated seats next to each other, but their hands kept bumping into each other since the former was left-handed and the latter right-handed. This led to a lot of annoyance, so they created an invisible boundary to prevent it from happening again. If not, the offender would get poked by a pencil.
Brendan happened to get poked most of the time, so he was glad to be in a different class from her in Primary 3. If you’re wondering why they didn’t just switch seats so their lives would be easier, they did try.
Ruth recalls the incident “We actually made a request to our form teacher to swap seats but was immediately denied. I reckon that she probably got a good laugh out of seeing us bicker.”. The couple speculates that maybe a strong impression wouldn’t have been made if they switched seats.
After leaving primary school, they ended up in secondary schools located next to each other.
Brendan didn’t reconnect with Ruth for another 8 years until he joined her church. Their grand reunion happened “under the stars in front of MBS with fairy lights all around”. Though it sounds romantic, it was just for a friend’s potluck outing at Marina Bay Sands. They happened to have mutual friends who were invited to that very same potluck, and Brendan was wondering if the girl with the same name as Ruth was truly the person he was thinking about.
Lo and behold, Ruth turned out to be the fated table buddy Brendan sat next to back in primary school. Even though he remembered the trauma of constantly being poked by her pencil, they were civil to each other and decided to stay friends for the next 7 years.
As for the moment they started seeing each other in a romantic light, it was actually during the COVID-19 pandemic. During that time, they worked on a digitalisation project for church together. Brendan admired Ruth’s dedication and passion towards mission trips to help underprivileged kids—a passion he shares with her. Ruth also mentions that there was a time when they finished a project meeting, and Brendan confessed he was running a fever. She was impressed that he still showed up despite feeling unwell.
Throughout the project, they started talking more and the topics of their conversations got deeper. Brendan and Ruth took things slow, preferring insightful conversations instead of letting surface emotions drive their relationship. They finally went on a date 6 months later, and only began formally dating a year after the project wrapped up.
This year, they are entering a new chapter in their lives: marriage. The couple is currently planning their wedding.
The unexpected trajectory of their relationship and how it has grown over time reads like a fairytale, but the reality is far from it. In his post, Brendan shares that overcoming challenges as a couple requires determined effort and growth from both parties.
Both of them believe that communication and compromise as the two fundamental pillars of their relationship.
According to them, “Trust is extremely important in relationships. One of the first things we did well was to learn how to reconcile well”. The couple believes in taking the time to work out any problems that arise, even if they are exhausted that day. Whenever one of them is going through a tough time, the other would take the time to listen and understand why they feel that way.
As a whole, they acknowledge that they aren’t perfect as individuals. Therefore, they make sure to compromise on any issues they may be having together, even if it means needing to take some time alone to cool down before solving the issue together.
This romance story that’s straight out of the books is truly one to admire. If you’re looking for your soulmate, the couple advises you to “focus on the alignment of values, and have deep and real conversations”. They said that finding the alignment in their values helped them understand each other deeper from the start, which ultimately allowed them to match their goals, dreams, and how they will get there.
If you’re losing hope, we hope that Brendan and Ruth’s story reminds you that it’s possible to find your true love!
All images courtesy of Lost and Found on Lemon8.
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