What Singaporean Mums Want To Say
There’s a lot more to the woman who gave birth to you than being the one who does your laundry, or the one who nags at you to eat more during dinner.
For many years while you were growing up, she was the centre of your world, the same one you couldn’t bear to be apart from, even for a while.
Chances are, as you grow up and explore what this world has to offer, you’ve stopped spending as much time with Mum as you previously did.
When was the last time you had a heart to heart talk with Mum? What is she really thinking? These are 10 things your mother really wants to tell you but didn’t.
1. “I don’t remember what you said about Telegram”
Have you tried explaining how Facebook algorithms work? Or the difference between Twitter and Instagram? Or explained the many functions of Telegram to her?
Chances are, she has forgotten and is just too paiseh to ask you again.
Until the next time she wonders why only three people and not the usual six liked her FB post, that is.
2. “I don’t want to take care of your kids 24/7”
A lot of us assume that our mothers will want to take care of our kids when we have them. Chances are, they’d rather not, and they do it only to help you.
They would be much older by then and they know taking care of children is not an easy task.
Why would they want to run after your rascal to change his diapers AND argue with you for forgetting the many new rules and principles picked up from your baby-rearing books?
3. “I wish I could be more like you”
You have more access to everything you want than she did in her time.
While nagging at you for ‘wearing nothing’ when you leave the house, she is probably thinking of how she could only buy clothes once a year or drink orange pop during CNY.
This new world where everything moves so quickly can sometimes be frightening for her, and she admires how you navigate it like a boss. It is also why she posts so much about you on her Facebook!
Solo trips, creating content online, petitioning for causes—these weren’t available to her in her time. Don’t forget to take her along on some of your adventures!
4. “I am sorry for that time”
Remember that time she compared your results to your cousin’s and made you cry? Or that time she scolded you in public in front of all your friends?
She does feel bad. But like she said, it was really for your own good. She’s sorry—she just doesn’t know how to tell you.
Did she make your favourite meal the next day after the scolding? That was her way of apologising.
5. “I was quite havoc”
Your mum likely scolded you for the things she did, like wearing that too tiny pair of shorts, staying out late or attending events you’re not supposed to.
But ask her about those ‘tea parties’ and ‘functions’ she used to attend! She was young once after all and would have had her fair share of fun.
Chances are if you dig into that wardrobe deep enough, you’d find something as inappropriate as those shorts of yours!
6. “I had my dreams”
When your Mum was younger, it’s likely she didn’t set out her life goal to be just your mother; she probably had her own aspirations as well.
What were they? Ask her. There, you might find a version of her you perhaps never got to know.
Find out what they are and see if you can help fulfill them. What did she give up? If you think about it, a lot of who you are today, was because she gave her time to raise you, perhaps at the expense of her own ambitions and after much sacrifice on her part.
7. “Thank you”
Your mum probably kept all the crappy drawings you made when you first discovered crayons because she knows this was the way you showed you care and only wanted to make her smile.
She hardly tells you how much she is thankful for what you do for her because she’s not used to speaking words of affection. But your Mum definitely appreciates the gestures.
Like the eraser you bought at the school bookshop with your pocket money, and the note you slipped into her bag, she treasures every gift you give her.
She just didn’t say much because she didn’t want you to waste your pocket money or time.
8. “I don’t have answers all the time”
It is so easy to forget this, isn’t it? The saying “Mother knows best” can seem true because they almost always have answers for us. Be it for breakups, why you’re coughing and how to deal with a toxic friend, Mum usually delivers some solid advice.
But it’s not fair to expect them to know the answers to everything. Sometimes, they don’t have all the answers. That being said, they’re still the closest things to a Life manual if there was ever one.
9. “Sometimes I wonder how life would be like if I didn’t have kids”
Even though your mum says she loves you more than anything in the world, it wouldn’t be surprising that she would occasionally wonder how different her life would have been without kids.
Parenthood has its ups and downs and there are times when you might have really tested her patience and been a handful to deal with.
Chances are though, she would not have it any other way.
10. “I love you”
When you were younger, all you wanted to do was keep her in your line of vision. You held her hand, you hugged her, you kissed her.
What happened along the way? Why did you stop? Why did she stop? Asian pride, that’s what.
Make the first move. Tell her you love her, because that’s what she wants to tell you too.
Appreciating Our Mums
Sometimes, our mums might have a little difficulty expressing how much they care for us, so give her a big hug today.