No matter how tight our relationships are, there are certain things we might never tell bae—cyber-stalked his ‘following’ list on Instagram, lied that he was a better cook than Gordon Ramsay, you name it.
Whether you call them secrets, white lies or unspoken truths, sometimes we’re afraid to hurt our SO’s feelings so we bottle our thoughts up.
But what do we keep mum about, exactly? To find out, we spoke to these Singaporean millennials who decided to come clean.
*Names were changed to protect identities
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“I’d never tell him how much I dislike his family or how I hate going over to their place. Mostly because I know his dad doesn’t think I’m good enough for his son. His siblings also behave like privileged, judgmental, pretentious snobs.”
Kaye, 21
“I can’t stand his friends who are rowdy and rude. They love stalking random girls they meet—and no, I don’t mean online stalking. He’s been friends with most of them since he was in kindergarten so I get why he hangs on to their friendship but they’re just awful to be around.”
Jie Ru, 22
“When I’m with any guy, I always have a crush on one of his friends. Sometimes I even think about being in a relationship with the other person instead. Not sure if I’m fickle or delusional.”
Rach, 23
“When I hit the club and flirt with a guy who’s been eyeing me all night. I don’t cheat on my boyfriend in any way, so there’s no point telling him that I shared a mutual attraction with someone besides him.”
Felicia, 21
“When my boyfriend is away and I hang out with another dude one-on-one to catch a movie or grab a drink. I mean, I had platonic guy friends before I had a boyfriend, so why should that change? I still wouldn’t tell him though, just to avoid any conflict.”
Pei, 26
“I’d never tell him if any of my male friends are into me. I’m not going to cut ties or end friendships with them because I know where my heart lies—with my own man.”
Rachelle, 21
“That I had a crush on one of my close guy friends and I can’t tell if my feelings are gone.”
Ling, 19
“I would never tell my boyfriend I cheated on him when he was overseas. I went clubbing with this f*boi and we hooked up at the end of the night.”
Shi Ling, 21
‘I never told my ex that I texted multiple guys while I was with him. I told them I was single and ready to mingle and almost went over to one guy’s house too.”
Angela, 23
“I won’t tell him that I still have one night stands occasionally. I don’t get feelings involved, but it’s difficult for people to accept these things, so I don’t bring it up.”
Jason, 23
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“When we’re having sex and it’s just going nowhere for me, I just fake it. I don’t want him to feel discouraged or think he’s ‘bad’ in bed.”
Nic, 22
“I fake laugh at him a lot, but I don’t tell him that he’s not as funny as he thinks he is.”
Anne, 20
“If my friends mention anything bad about my boyfriend, I’d hide the truth from him even if he asks about what they said.”
Siti, 21
“I don’t tell him how often I think about having children… I honestly can’t wait; I even have a Pinterest board for my future kids.”
Leesha, 24
“I’d never tell him how much I initially stalked him on social media, or how often I talked about him to my friends while we scrutinised his pictures. My friends’ opinions matter to me so I needed to make sure he passed all their tests.”
Julia, 22
“I’d never tell him that I’ve already imagined what our wedding would be like because I’m supposed to be cool and aloof. I mean I am, but a girl can dream.”
Nicole, 23
“How much I really spent on the makeup I bought.”
Putri, 22
“At the beginning of our relationship, I lied about being busy just so I could have ‘me’ time. When I agreed to go out with him, sometimes my friends would make more appealing plans so I’d make up an excuse to cancel on him.”
Dianne, 21
“I wouldn’t share how much I smoke in a day, or how drunk I can get. Or even share my worst drunken stories with him.”
Joy, 21
“I know he’s better at making rational decisions that would benefit our relationship, but I’d never tell him as he’ll use it against me.”
Xin Yi, 25
“I would never tell him that he cooks better than me. I make good food, so he’ll have to eat my food and like it.”
Pamela, 21
“Once when he ran out to get food, I ransacked his room to see if I’d find anything he could’ve been hiding from me. I didn’t even know what I was looking for. I guess I’d let my inner psycho out for a second, oops.”
Adeline, 25
“I won’t tell my boyfriend about how psycho I’ve been with some of my exes. He’ll just have to find out when I flip one day.”
David, 26
“That I hooked up with one of his friends before we got together.”
Jessica, 24
“I’d never talk about how many sexual partners I’ve actually had. I don’t know if he’ll see me differently but I don’t want to take the risk.”
Gillian, 24
We often hear, “If you have nothing nice to say—maybe you shouldn’t say anything at all.” But sometimes it’s better to speak the truth lest he eventually finds out from someone else.
Cover: Source
This article was first published on 2 June 2017 and last updated on 25 December 2023.
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