Over the years, I’ve thought about the reasons for having a stronger bond with my mother than my father. It wasn’t rocket science — it was because my father was mostly at work. Since my mother was a housewife, my sister and I naturally became closer to my mother. Perhaps if my father was given more leaves from his company, things might have been different.
While Singapore is definitely changing for the better in terms of promoting work-life balance, there are still some areas that need improvement, such as advocating for shared parenthood.
That’s why I spoke to Koh Yan Ping, CEO of the Singapore Council of Women’s Organisations (SCWO), to learn about SCWO’s role in increasing paternity leaves for fathers in Singapore, and her take on shared parenthood.
Prior to starting a career in family development, Yan Ping originally worked in the sales and marketing industry. When she returned to the workforce after giving birth to her first child, she noticed that her former employer did not understand the struggles new mothers go through.
She had a difficult time with him, and experienced unfair dismissal after going through maternity leave.
“At that point in time, I was ignorant. I didn’t know about the rights that I had, and I wasn’t aware of the Employment Act,” Yan Ping shared.
Nonetheless, she left the company and began to look for new opportunities, one of which was an open position in the family development unit at NTUC. Although she didn’t have past experience, the interviewer was impressed by her skill sets, and felt that she could use them in the implementation of programmes for families.
“They didn’t see it as a disadvantage in any way, and felt that it was actually a good fit for the role,” Yan Ping explained.
They were right, and after Yan Ping took up the position, she handled issues from a mother’s perspective, and ventured into women’s advocacy.
By leading campaigns that advocate for better workplace practices, she was able to build a strong network with key players such as the government, employers and unions. This in turn led to her involvement in nationwide initiatives such as the Citizens’ Panel on Work-Life Harmony in 2019 and the Conversations on Singapore Women’s Development in 2020.
Yan Ping’s accolades have also led her to be appointed as the CEO of the Singapore Council of Women’s Organisations this year. There, she oversees a team of inspirational women who tackle ongoing gender inequality issues and eliminate discrimination against women.
As a working mother who has been advocating for women and workers for over a decade, Yan Ping found it interesting how she journeyed with Singapore in terms of women’s rights progression.
“When I had my first child, I was only provided with 2 to 3 months of maternity leave,” Yan Ping shared. “But when I gave birth to my second child, I was able to enjoy 4 months of maternity leave.”
This shows how Singapore is not only becoming a more progressive society, but also the fact that Singaporeans have had a shift in mindset over the years. For instance, Yan Ping believes more companies are starting to understand why hybrid working is important, especially for mothers.
“Such flexible work arrangements allow women to better juggle caring for their family and also continuing with their career,” Yan Ping pointed out.
Compared to the past, many mothers had to quit their jobs because they needed to take care of their children. But now, with the option of working from home, mothers have an alternative instead of leaving the workforce completely.
Looking back, Yan Ping also highlighted that 2020 was the year of celebrating Singapore’s women.
“There were many conversations on women’s development, and that surfaced a lot of the underlying systemic issues that were restricting women from achieving their aspirations,” Yan Ping said.
And since SCWO is a key partner with the Ministry of Social and Family Development, they have been able to roll out engagement sessions, and provide consultations and recommendations for what they would need to do for women in the next 10 years and beyond.
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While some people would think that Yan Ping has “everything” together based on her successful career, she experiences the same struggles every working mother goes through, be it emotionally or physically. It doesn’t get easier just because she has work experience in the family department.
“I sacrifice sleep and personal time to balance my work and family duties,” Yan Ping revealed.
Instead of trying to find a balance between these two aspects of life, she believes in having work-life harmony by dedicating a set amount of time to work and family. Doing so gives her peace, knowing that she is able to spend quality time at work and with her family.
Of course, she is able to achieve work-life harmony by sharing family responsibilities with her husband. He helps out in areas that require more attention to detail such as cooking, while she is better at other chores. They work great as a team and make it a point to communicate with each other.
“When either of us encounters difficulties, we always talk about the problem and find solutions together,” Yan Ping commented. “After all, it is our responsibility to ensure that things are well taken care of and running smoothly in our family.”
However, not everyone is as blessed as Yan Ping who has a supportive partner by her side.
She understands that some people, including her staff, need to take leave for family care matters. As such, she makes sure that her employees receive such support, and they see the company as a family-friendly workplace.
“I want to have my employees committed to my company, but at the same time, I must be able to support them with life challenges, which come in different forms,” Yan Ping explained.
Despite seeing a positive change in employers offering better welfare for working mothers in Singapore, Yan Ping believes that there is always room for improvement if more people understand the importance of shared parenting.
“Since a decade ago, the Singapore government has already been talking about shared parenting, but it was challenging because it was a mindset change,” Yan Ping shared. “Back then, there was no paid paternity leave, and whatever the father had was based on what their employer was willing to offer.”
To elaborate, Yan Ping highlighted an old study, which revealed that only 55% of fathers in Singapore with paternity leave actually use them.
While there are many reasons behind such findings, she believes that some fathers would rather not take paternity leave because companies were only obligated to provide a couple of days of paternity leave. Since these leaves aren’t exactly significant, they don’t bother using them unless necessary.
But now, fathers in Singapore are entitled to 4 weeks of paternity leave from 2024. SCWO is hoping to see a considerable change, with more fathers stepping up and making use of paternity leave to share the burden of family care.
To encourage fathers to use their paternity leave, Yan Ping suggests normalising conversations about them in workplaces.
“It is common for colleagues to ask expecting mothers, but not the fathers what they intend to do with their paternity leave,” Yan Ping highlighted. “So if they make such a shift in attitude, people might actually be accustomed to this idea of paternity leave.”
Another way to promote shared parenthood is to leverage the shared leave system in which fathers and mothers get to share and split their leaves according to their needs.
While she also understands that such suggestions require further refinement, there is potential for government approval in the future.
Increasing paternity leave in Singapore was no doubt a huge achievement by SCWO this year, and when asked about her future plans as the CEO of SCWO, Yan Ping talked about their plans moving forward, and how they could bring more of their top leadership towards the conversation on gender equality.
“We are focusing on rolling out our flagship programmes, such as BoardAgender and Hall of Fame to raise awareness about SCWO in Singapore,” Yan Ping said.
Also sharing advice to working mothers in Singapore, Yan Ping assures them that “whatever they are going through is normal”.
“They are never alone in the hardship that they are experiencing, and I encourage them to join a community and find a network that supports them,” Yan Ping said. “It is great to have people around you with different perspectives and you can learn from them.”
Parenting is never the responsibility of one parent, and shared parenthood can be better achieved now that fathers are entitled to 4 weeks of paternity leave from 2024 in Singapore. Thanks to the contributions from organisations like SCWO and people like Yan Ping, Singapore is evolving into a progressive society and a more favourable place to live.
To learn more about SCWO and participate as a volunteer, head over to their official website.
All images courtesy of Koh Yan Ping.
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