Perspective

Singaporean Girl Warns Others On Lending Money After Unsuccessfully Getting It Back From Ex-BF

Tips On Lending Money

There are many ways to complicate a relationship. Lend your partner a sum of money, and the innocent act could potentially cause you to be entangled in an awkward situation, especially if the relationship turns sour. 

For Lemon8 user Kelly, this unfortunate scenario became her reality, and even after breaking up with her ex-boyfriend, she has yet to receive the full amount of money she had lent him. Now, she hopes that by sharing her experience on the platform, more people will become cautious, and think twice before lending money to others. 

The incident

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Back in 2021, when Kelly was dating her ex-boyfriend, she lent him money after he explained that he would be fined $5,000 per day if he didn’t pay a deposit of $2,500 to a supplier. He was “super stressed” by the tight financial situation because his bank account was also frozen. 

Since it is understandable that no one wants to see their partner suffer from financial woes, Kelly helped him out. But that was the start of his red flags – she soon noticed that he began to take advantage of her.

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Over a period of time, he repeatedly asked Kelly if he could borrow more money, with the amounts ranging from $1,350 to $3,400. Even after they broke up, he continued to reach out to Kelly, hoping that she would lend him money to get him through another financial struggle. 

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However, when it came to repaying the money that he owed Kelly, he consistently gave excuses and postponed the payment dates. On one occasion, he even explained that he was “admitted to hospital due to dengue”. 

Tired and frustrated by his continual delays, Kelly shared screenshots of his unfulfilled promises. Furthermore, she highlighted that he had stated he “will settle by June 2022”, but a year later, this has still not been done, according to Kelly’s recent update. 

 

Tips on lending money

To prevent others from experiencing a similar ordeal, Kelly offers some advice and points to consider when lending money. 

1. Understand the reason

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Similar to how you wouldn’t lend your treasured item to someone without a valid reason, Kelly emphasised that you have the right to know why the borrower needs the money. She also mentioned that you don’t have to “feel paiseh” and ask for proof if possible. 

2. Prepare an IOU document

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For the unacquainted, an IOU document is a written acknowledgement that a debt exists between two people. It includes details such as the amount of money borrowed, methods of payment, and agreed-upon payment date. 

Since it is always advisable to have proof in black and white to safeguard your money, you will also know whether the borrower is sincere in their request if they decide to back out before signing an IOU document.   

3. Keep all proofs

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As much as we hate to admit it, there are crafty people out there. To prevent yourself in a “he said, she said” situation, keep all proofs, and screenshot transactions and conversations in case the borrower distorts facts, and gaslights you into thinking that you agreed to something you actually didn’t. 

4. Ask for bail

There are instances when borrowers would go MIA. As a backup plan to get your money back, always ask for the borrower’s friend or family member’s contact information, and let them know about the situation. 

5. Stay firm in your decision

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I know ‒ it is easy to get swayed by emotions, but remember to stay firm in your decision whether you decide to lend money or not. It is possible that the borrower knows your weak points, and tries to take advantage of them. 

These Tips Are Helpful To Know Before Lending Money To Others

While we are not saying that you shouldn’t lend money to people at all, it is always best to know more about the situation of the borrower, and have backup plans in case things really go south. 

By shedding light on Kelly’s story, we now know what to take note of when lending money to others. Hopefully, she will also be able to receive the outstanding money her ex-boyfriend owes as soon as possible. 

Cover: TheSmartLocal, Source 

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Jou Teng Tan

I love bubble tea and serving tea.

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Jou Teng Tan