Why Guys ‘Ghost’
‘Ghosting’ is something that most of us can say we’ve done to someone before. When conversations get dry, pulling a Houdini is sometimes the easy way out. To find out why guys “die” midway during the chase, we spoke to 10 Singaporean men who shared with us their reasons on why they chose to MIA… forever.
Names were changed to protect some identities.
Because she was legit psycho
I had a one night stand with some girl at the club. But after that night she wanted to be exclusive, so I said I needed time to think about it. For the next few days, she started to appear under my condo unit at night and sometimes in the morning when I was heading to school. I got fed up and told her that I couldn’t be with her as she’s too clingy. I also stopped replying to her non-stop messages and she gave up after 2 weeks.
I feel like I’ve only ever taken my relationships with people as far as the edge of a cliff—before you take the plunge. Where you’d take the risk of either jumping into a bed of roses, or getting hopelessly lost in a trench. And I’ve never been one to take a blind leap of faith in someone romantically. So I back out. Maybe I have commitment issues or am just flat out scared, but it’s always made me feel vulnerable to the other party and I hate having people see me that way.
Better to be lovelorn than to be rejected
I started ghosting repeatedly on girls for two years after one girl first ghosted on me. I was bitter initially; she was someone I wanted things to have worked out with. But it’s easier to be lovelorn over a jerk than to be rejected because of unrequited feelings, right? I’d rather disappear than have to explain to someone why she isn’t enough.
Didn’t want to tie himself down
I used to be a f**kboi who just wanted to score chicks. I met this girl on OkCupid and charmed the pants off her… literally; by asking her to come over for wine and a movie. She asked me over breakfast if I’d text her again and I said yes, but in the f**kboi dictionary that pretty much means no. She just faded into oblivion because I hooked up with another girl later that week.
Jing Rong, 26
Because they weren’t over their exes
We were once in love. When things ended, she told me she still wanted to be my best friend but I couldn’t bear the idea of her being just a friend. I believe in this saying, “If two past lovers can remain friends, either they never were in love, or they still are.” So I cut all contact and forced myself to stop thinking of her. I also unfollowed her on social media.
I wasn’t over my ex when I entered university—where I got close to a senior in my orientation group and we hit it off pretty well. We reached the stage where everyone could tell we had feelings for each other but one day I cut all contact. I even ignored her ‘good morning’ texts. I guess I wasn’t ready and was still a little broken from my last relationship. Funny how I was absolved from any judgement of “leading her on” because we weren’t official. But she probably felt otherwise.
The girl disappointed them
This older lady and I matched on Tinder and her first message was “oops wrong swipe, I don’t date younger guys.” Challenge accepted. I got her interested in me till she became a bit of a bore and a dealbreaker to me is having to carry the whole conversation myself. Eventually, when she wanted to meet up, I dropped her like Snoop Dogg dropped his next hot single.
I was CCA mates with this girl in Junior College. Apart from school training, we met up on the weekends and holidays to practice with some friends. But she ghosted on us after receiving her A Level results (she didn’t do particularly well) for ONE WHOLE YEAR. I couldn’t understand how someone could just cut their friends off like that. When she finally decided to face us again by inviting us to her 21st birthday, I refused to text, call or meet her anymore. I guess you can say I did it out of sweet revenge.
The girl didn’t turn out the way they thought
I used to be really close to this girl in our clique and one day she told me that she was cheating on her boyfriend with one of our friends. What hit me hardest was that she always used to preach about fidelity and loyalty; a sentiment I always shared. After hearing that, I could never see her the same way again. I drifted from that group and haven’t talked to her since.
I was close friends with this girl once and we used to confide in each other about everything, be it school or personal problems. But I found out she’d been toying with one of my bro’s feelings and milking his money and I was disgusted by it. When I realised these hoes ain’t loyal, I stopped contacting her.
Leaving Someone Hanging
Some might believe it’s better to leave someone angry at you than let them know you can’t be with them for reasons they might not understand. But as much as the feeling of being ‘ghosted’ on always sucks, at least you know you’re not alone—if that makes you feel better!