Amazon Dating Parody Site Lets You Opt For Same-Day Delivery Of ‘Hot Singles Near You’

Amazon Dating Parody Site

A parody site called Amazon Dating recently launched, with an interface resembling Amazon to a T and a tagline that reads, “The future of dating”. The site pokes fun of modern phenomenon like online dating and instant gratification by “selling” ‘hot profiles near you’ for as little as US$4.99 (~S$6.89). If you have an Amazon Prime membership, you can even enjoy free one-hour delivery and free returns. 

Amazon Dating interface

In place of product specs, you can customise your ‘hot single’ by choosing your preferred height, fit and even love language. Each profile also comes with a list of humorous personality traits and customer reviews, for you to make a more informed “purchase”.

There are also Easter eggs littered across the website that anyone who has an Internet connection and/or a Tinder profile can relate to. 

Click on the “Your Last Relationship” tab on the top, for example, and you will be redirected to a YouTube video of the Britney Spears classic, “Toxic”. The “Legal” tab leads to an automatic download of a Non-Ghosting Agreement—a true sign of dating app fatigue.

Let’s check out some of the profiles.

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Amazon Dating profiles

Sam might not look his age but his heart and mind sure do. He invests in LinkedIn, doesn’t believe in “cellphones” and prefers to be the first on the plane. Quite the uncle, I’d say. But hey, he’s only $9.68 and he gets the job done.

Grace is your typical carefree millennial who enjoys living in the moment. Her idea of being “on-time” has a 15-fifteen minute window. #relatable. But you don’t ever want to cross her line because she’s selective with her “close friends” list. In other words—no Instagram stories, you ded.

Vinny, 19, might be young but he’s perfect for all you emotional and needy Cancer ladies out there. He “isn’t into “ghosting”” and will not pressure you for nudes because he “doesn’t believe in them”.

 

Meet Katherine, a 35-year-old lady who has daddy issues and isn’t afraid to show it. And if that ain’t enough to turn you on, she claims to own every single Glossier product too. The listing states that stock is currently available, but be warned—she comes with a hefty price tag.

Parody Site Amazon Dating Has ‘Hot Singles’ For Sale This V Day

If you’re in for a good laugh this Valentine’s Day, hop over to Amazon Dating and see if any of these (fictitious) personas strike your fancy.

Jokes aside, this might be a parody site but it is scarily close to reflecting the reality of the dating scene today. We seek superficial traits and will only settle for someone who meets our unrealistic expectations of the ‘perfect partner’. 

Here’s hoping that our dating apps today don’t evolve into objectifying platforms like this. Remember, we’re humans, not products!

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All images: Source