Being In A Situationship

It’s 2023, and those of us who have survived the dating game during the pandemic may share the common sentiment of wanting to get straight to the point, instead of beating around the bush. With the latter comes the rise of the term “situationship” — to put it in Singaporean terms, it’s not-here-not-there

Lemon8 user @megankhaw shares what it was like being in a situationship for 1.5 years, along with tips on how to get out of one. 

What is a situationship?


A situationship is basically a more-than-friends but less-than-a-relationship situation — both of you don’t know where you stand in each others’ lives. You can think of it as the dating phase right before you agree to commit into a full relationship. 

While not entirely a bad thing, Megan warns, “if you’re looking for something more serious, then you won’t like being in one.” Especially if this period drags on for nearly two years, with no end goal in sight. 

Based on Megan’s experiences, these are the three signs that you are stuck in a situationship:

1. Lack of communication

situationshipFor illustrative purposes only

Beyond romantic relationships, communication is key to maintaining healthy relationships with everyone around you. 

But when you are in a situationship, you may feel that there is a huge hole where conversation doesn’t flow well between the two of you, especially when it comes to more serious topics. 

Sometimes, it’s important to know your limits and take the first step. If you want to define the relationship, make the first move and ask — “what are we?” If the other partner is not willing to discuss this with you, chances are they’re not looking to take the relationship to the next level. 

2. Feeling stuck in a loop

For illustrative purposes only

When Megan was in a situationship, she “always wanted to tell the person more about [herself] or even ask them out more, but [she] felt scared to do so because they were not [her] boyfriend. And they were not obligated to.”

You’re not the main character of a Doctor Strange movie, so there’s no reason why you should feel stuck in a loop. Constantly questioning yourself with “should I do this or not?” can be emotionally draining. 

Sometimes, it can be hard to be objective when you are in the picture. At times like these, lean on your friends for support. Sharing your struggles with them can help to give you a more unbiased view of your situation. 

3. Feeling anxious all the time

situationshipFor illustrative purposes only

While it’s true that being in a relationship isn’t all rainbows and butterflies, it also shouldn’t give you anxiety 24/7. Since there’s no “real” commitment in place, people in a situationship may feel afraid that the other party might be seeing someone else, or they are always expecting rejection. 

According to Megan, it’s important to know where you stand in this person’s life. Are you just someone to talk to because they are bored, or do you think this relationship will eventually work out? 

As cliché as it sounds, it may be better to let go than to hold on, especially if dragging it out may become a waste of your time.

Being In A Situationship Is Emotionally Tiring, But These Tips Will Help You Get Out Of It

At the end of the day, Megan feels that overcoming a situationship boils down to “talking about the status of the relationship with each other”. While meeting someone new might be fun and exciting, it’s always important to be cautious and know what you are getting yourself into.

Perhaps a simple ai stead mai” may be more impactful than tip-toeing around the conversation of a serious relationship. 

Cover: Source, image courtesy of TheSmartLocal

Also read:

Singaporean Girl Explains Why There Is No Shame In Making The First Move, Shares Relationship Advice