What Would Zula Do
WWZD is where we answer submissions from our readers, from queries to confessions or even recurring dreams. While we are no experts in this thing called life, sometimes all you need is a listening ear from your e-BFF, anonymously.
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WWZD: Should I Confess To My Crush Before Our Overseas Exchange Or After Graduation?
Dear Zula,
I have had a crush on this guy since the start of freshman year when we were in the same project group. M and I have become very good friends, going for lectures and tutorials together, and on the occasional date. He has even asked me the type of guys I like.
We will be going on the same exchange in 1 year’s time and I’m intending to confess my feelings to him after we graduate so as to not lose the friendship and to avoid any awkwardness during our exchange. However, my friend has advised me to do so as early as possible to prevent other opportunities lost.
How should I approach this issue?
—Anonymous, female, 21
This submission has been edited for grammar and clarity.
Zula says
Dear Anonymous,
If you and M have such a close friendship, you should be able to have an open discussion with him about your feelings. And if you guys have already gone on multiple dates, you should’ve gotten a rough gauge of how he feels about you in return.
Confessing after graduation sounds like a solid plan, as it removes the risk of awkward avoidances and bumping into him on campus. If he doesn’t reciprocate your sentiments of romance, you guys can either remain bosom buddies or go your separate ways.
Seeing as you’re going on exchange, there’ll be no lack of opportunities to explore boy-girl relationships. Exploring a whole new territory and lifestyle will also help you get over the unrequited crush with minimal heartache.
That said, if he does feel the same about you, going on the same exchange programme will give your new relationship an exciting first chapter. Whichever it may be, the possible outcomes spell more hope than doom so plan the timing wisely, but don’t wallow too long in uncertainty either.
—Renae
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What Would Zula Do: Should I Go On University Exchange With My New Boyfriend?
Dear Anonymous,
I’m quite impressed at your patience in being able to confess after graduation. And if you can keep to this timeline, it is extremely respectable.
Have you ever heard of the phrase “right person, wrong time”?
Holding your horses might be a good idea, because the timing and situation can bring you closer or further apart. Going on overseas exchange also leaves room for a lot of unprecedented circumstances that will definitely change the dynamic of the relationship.
I know the feelings are real, but do you know what else is real? That you are 21 and have so many bright years ahead of you. Your friend is just imposing her FOMO mentality on you and nothing good ever comes out of that.
Just wait for now, and time and space will show you whether you are meant for each other. And who knows, you might discover your love for foreign men during your exchange instead.
—Asher
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