Culture

53 Things I Loved About Crazy Rich Asians As A Singaporean

Crazy Rich Asians celebrates Singapore

Contains spoilers. 

As a 53 year old, Singapore shows no signs of retiring. She’s even been featured in Hollywood movie!

Here are 53 things I loved about Crazy Rich Asians, besides being awestruck by seeing fabulous Singapore on the silver screen.

1. Blue Comfort Delgro taxi at Peik Lin’s house

Rich people take cabs, not Grab.

2. Ku Ku Jiao

Colloquialism for penis.

One word to unite multi-racial Singapore.

3. “She’s not even that pretty! Has she ever heard of plastic surgery?”

The claws came out fast. Somehow the American director knows how Singaporean girls talk.

4. Kevin Kwan’s cameo

Source

Attn: MINDEF.

 

Foreigners, point 4 here.

5. Ponding-themed wedding

Ponding can be a beautiful and romantic setting. Just probably not for commoners in Bedok.

6. Hypocritical Christians

Bible study in the afternoon. Turns into a devil at sundown. You don’t need a high net worth to meet those.

7. Fiona Xie as Fiona Xie

Just kidding. In my heart, you will always be Channel 8’s little genie / FHM cover model of the early 2000s.

8. Accurately depicting what a Southeast Asian princess looks like

They don’t have tight waists and go to bed with a tiara.

9. Making actors take off their shirts whenever it sort of made sense

Tilda Swinton stole an Asian man’s role in Doctor Strange. Crazy Rich Asians restores them in 8-pack glory.

10. Subtle product placement

Thank God nobody tried to sell us instant coffee or travel insurance. There is an appropriate place for this—Jack Neo movies.

11. “You are not like the other girls.”

Wild gold diggers always appear whenever there is a scent of a rich Singaporean man.

12. Peik Lin’s mansion

What’s the point of wealth if you can’t flaunt it?

Tiered fountain, splash of gold everywhere. Good taste is overrated. Just ask America’s First Family.

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13. Watching rare flowers bloom at midnight

When you are crazy rich, your type of recreation mirrors empresses in the forbidden palace.

Netflix is for the subpar rich.

14. Helicopter fleet

Thank you for leaving so-so rich douchey race car owners in the dust, Bernard Tai!

15. Michelle Yeoh

Wow acting. Fabulous in a kebaya. The Meryl Streep of Asia. Malaysia’s national treasure.

Also Read:

16. Villians make a movie

Thor has Loki.

Hot on Miranda Priestly’s Prada heels, Eleanor Young is 2018’s bitch-in-power we love to hate.

17. This person who ANALYSED the mahjong scene

That scene happened so fast with so much dialogue, I am not even sure how this mahjong-expert came up with this rundown…

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18. Mahjong scene making gambling legit

Serial gamblers excited that their vice has some poetic meaning finally.

19. Throwing the pivotal bamboo mahjong tile so Eleanor could win

Bamboos don’t stand alone. Strength is greater in family.

20. Mahjong scene takes place in a clan association

Apt, as the conflict is between individualistic ideals versus the good of the clan.

21. Eleanor Young’s suit and giant gem getup in mahjong scene

Source, Source

Makes actual Crazy Rich Kardashian look as poor as her unfilled lips.

22. Peranakan culture is so beautiful

We walk past the heritage buildings in Katong like it’s no big deal. But those scenes of the Young’s mansion are filled with glorious Peranakan decoratifs that make the cinematography a visual feast to behold.

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23. Dumpling wrapping scene

True Asian answers lie in dumplings; not fortune cookies, Americans.

24. Made family heirlooms great again

Are diamonds a girl’s best friend?

The emerald ring said all that was needed. Girls who crave for diamonds forget that those not-so-precious stones are just a marketing and supply-manipulation campaign by DeBeers.

25. Cheating husband Pierre Png

Looks like money can’t buy you love. But it can buy you million dollar earrings. Maybe that’s enough.

26. Limousine argument

There will always be those women who subtly hurt you by making you feel like you are not enough in passive-aggressive ways.

Still, they want to lock you in a relationship and play victim when it goes south.

“I can’t help you feel like a man.” Ouch.

27. Gemma Chan

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Chiobu.

Foreigners, read point 8 here.

28. High-society drama

Crazy rich Asian doesn’t like other crazy rich Asian. Typical.

29. Plump juicy prawn being de-shelled

2018’s breakout star. Show us that glorious footage of hawker food being prepared.

30. Malaysia Boleh

Singapore’s most prominent show is stolen by Malaysian talents Michelle Yeoh and Henry Golding.

So stop being salty about our hawker culture UNESCO application, okay?

31. Praising Changi Airport

When I lived in New York and touched down in JFK airport, it was the “despair and salmonella” Rachel describes.

Changi has ruined us with its butterfly gardens, honestly.

32. Constipated mandarin

For whatever reason, ACS boys sound like American-born Rachel Chu when speaking Mandarin.

Also Read:

33. Not understanding my own accent

Was I the only one who could not code-switch between the various accents?

American, British, and Australian accents were okay, until the Singaporean drawl came up.

What they talking ah?

34. Eclectic Music

Theresa Teng, Cantopop cover of Material Girl.

That one English song, during the wedding—an acoustic cover of Elvis Presley’s I Can’t Help Falling In Love, peppered with reverential silence.

35. Awesome back-story of Coldplay’s Yellow Cover

Read about it here.

36. I asked my Jamaican friend who lives in San Francisco what he liked about the movie

“It was relatable to all Asians. Not just Singaporeans, Chinese, etc. Even Koreans I know loved it.”

37. “You will never be good enough.”

Story of our lives. Sad.

Source 

38. Proposal scene

How come I’ve never noticed those scenic steps near the Singapore River to lepak on?

39. Shot of Merlion spitting

Singapore Tourism Board’s manufactured mascot gets his 1.5 seconds of fame. LOL.

40. Reverse-colonising the British by buying their hotels

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41. Dialect

The prologue scene in Cantonese immediately brought back memories of my late grandmother.

She would chide me for watching Jack Neo’s comedy night, while lamenting that dialects had been censored from the airwaves.

42. “That’s why we are on Hong Kong Vogue and not American Vogue.”

As a crazy rich Asian (or just Asian), there are always higher peaks to climb. Sigh.

Also Read:

43. Partying in “international waters” on a container ship

New #lifegoals. Can I buy a bazooka on Amazon?

44. Rare Cambodian gong

Sometimes, you just need to make an entrance…GONG!!!!!!

45. Peik Lin so Singaporean

Though played by American actress Awkwafina, Peik Lin’s twice denial to enter the Young’s mansion is so Singaporean! Then, of course, she accepts.

46. Walk-of-shame set of clothes, LMAO

Go get it trashy girls.

47. Asian mothers’ love

Rachel and Nick experience their strong mother’s love in two very different ways.

48. ‘Auntie’ that yells, “Faster, faster” in the plane

Impatient middle-aged women everywhere in Singapore. They abuse the poor traffic light buttons and beat you to enter the bus first.

49. “What does she bring to the table?”

“Small tits.”

Feminist inappropriate joke for 2018.

50. Fireworks in the ending scene

Crazy rich Asians show NDP how it’s done.

51. Bachelor’s party vs bachelorette’s party

Chilling at the beach talking about feelings versus an all out shade-fest.

52. Red Angbao dress

People in the cinema LOLed when Rachel Chu rolled up at the gates. We all understand, gurl.

53. Mid-credit scene

Macam* Marvel movie!

*Malay for as if.

Excited for China Rich Girlfriend

Gemma Chan as the lead character in the sequel? Hell yes.

Also Read:

Cover photo: Source

Asher Mak

Asher just wants to be happy.