Fake Nice Guys 

Ah, fake “nice” guys. They’re the bane of our existence and the protagonist of the “I can’t believe this happened to me” stories you regale to your girlfriends. While most “nice guys” aren’t hard to spot, some require a little time to show their true colours. Here are 9 signs that may suggest he could be a fake “nice guy”.

1. When he insists he just “wants to be friends”, but seems disgruntled when you friendzone him

You often meet these guys on Tinder, where they insist that they’re “just looking for friends”, especially once you tell them you’re not DTF. You happily accept your “new friend” and begin complaining about how hard it is to find guys who aren’t just looking for sex. You also add how happy you are that he’s okay with just being friends, and with that comment you can almost feel how the word “friend” has him coiling back in disgust. “Lol same!”, he tells you through gritted teeth.

2. When he explicitly tells you he’s a nice guy

When he constantly laments to you, “OMG it’s sooo hard being a nice guy because I can never get the girl”, well, he’s probably not a nice guy. If he continues with, “I guess nice guys like me always finish last”, then he really isn’t a nice guy. Nice guys don’t feel the need to constantly reaffirm the fact that they’re, well, nice.

3. When he does nice things for you but starts getting calculative

He treats you to a fancy dinner, buys you a large bouquet of roses, and insists on sending you home. You’ve made it explicitly clear that you only see him as a friend and nothing more, but when you don’t invite him in, he starts to treat you differently and may even express his resentment by giving you the cold shoulder. He assumes that by doing all this, he’s entitled to sleeping with you and gets angry when he doesn’t get a bang for his buck. That, or he’s holding onto hope that somewhere down the line, you’ll suddenly see him as more than a friend.

4. When he believes he knows what you want better than you do

“You don’t actually want to go overseas to study”, “You don’t want to cut your hair, girls with short hair are not as chio”, “You don’t actually want to be with him”, and of course, “You actually want to be with me”. Geez, did you get a diploma in mind reading.

5. When he’s not nice to all women, just women he wants to bed

He’s all smiles and politeness with you, but when he’s around other women he’s suddenly dismissive. If he’s not polite and respectful to all women, chances are he’s only being nice to you to get into your good graces, not because he’s actually nice. Men like him are bound to have hidden agendas, so stay clear.

6. When he only acts friendly when no one else is giving him attention

“Nice guys” usually have more than one girl on their radar, so if he only sucks up to you with endless flattery when it’s convenient to him, then you know his intentions aren’t sincere. He’ll only be friendly to you when no one else pays attention to him, and you know you’re worth so much more than being an option to a “nice guy”.

7. When he’s rude to the service staff

“Any person who is rude to the waiter is not a nice person”. Like I said before, nice guys will be nice to everybody. That includes service staff, who’re just as human as the rest of us.

8. When the way he treats you feels “off” sometimes

 He gets pissy if you don’t text back immediately and makes sure you acknowledge and thank him for all of his “nice deeds”. Most importantly, his intentions don’t seem pure. If it doesn’t feel right, it most likely isn’t. Trust me, your intuition is your best friend.

9. When he says demeaning things after you rejected him nicely

His feelings are hurt, and he claims you’ve been leading him on the entire time. Angry, he calls you a bitch and a number of other choice names, throwing a fit more suited to a 5 year old child. You know you dodged a bullet, and you also know he’s off to repeat the cycle with another poor soul. Bye, Felicia.

“Nice” Guys Finish Last

Real nice guys don’t finish last. And even if they do, it’s because they let the ladies win first. It’s the douchebags who hide under the guise of “nice guy” that don’t get the girl, because we can see through your halo of bullshit and straight into your true self. Girls, save yourself the trouble and cut off the fake “nice guys” in your life. It’s really not worth it.