In Singapore, I’ve noticed that guys tend to be a little shy when it comes to dating and asking for a girl’s number. Sometimes, it’s because they’re too paiseh, other times it’s because they’re afraid of getting rejected.
But a quick chat with my guy friends revealed the main reason why they let the pretty girl they’ve spotted walk away is because they’re unsure of how to get her number.
To help a brother out, I’ve asked these 7 Singaporean girls what would make them want to give a guy their number, and how guys can increase their chances of scoring a first date.
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I’d usually give my number to guys who make me feel like we could be friends. If he starts the conversation with a “Hey, I think you’re cute”, I’d become more wary of his intentions, and assume he only likes me for how I look.
What guys can do is ask for a simple favour instead. For example, if I’m in the supermarket, walk up and politely ask, “Hey, may I know which aisle you got that item from? I can’t seem to find it.”
If I show him the way, it’ll give us a few seconds of comfortable silence, and sets up a less intimidating scenario. Also, I’d feel positive about helping him, which might affect my feelings towards him.
From there, he could ask me for my name, after he thanks me for showing him where to get the item, and whether I live in the same neighbourhood. If he seems respectful, I’d give him my number, as I’d trust him not to spam call me.
Note: Asking “Do you live around here?” is less creepy than asking “Where do you stay?”
Chev, 25
He has to strike up a conversation in a non-creepy way, like asking how to get to somewhere or what time it is. The best thing he can do is to not come off as an F-boy.
If he shows that he genuinely wants to get to know me, and engages me in a good conversation, I’d definitely be more inclined to give him my number when he asks for it.
Klaire, 20
Once, I was waiting for my Grab outside a restaurant, and three guys came around the corner, commenting on how good the place looked.
One of them made eye contact with me, so I replied I just had dinner there and the food was quite good. They struck up a brief conversation before leaving.
Less than a minute later, two of them came back and told me they were helping their friend (the one who made eye contact) ask for my number.
At that point, I noticed said guy hiding behind a nearby pillar, so I smiled at him. He walked over and shook my hand before asking me for my number.
I ended up giving him my number because I felt he was polite, and the fact that he was shy showed he didn’t just willy-nilly ask for a girl’s number. Until today, we’re still texting, and it’s going great.
Lyn, 24
Depends on how I’m asked. Most of the guys I message are from dating apps, and we usually make a bit of conversation before they’d ask, “Hey, wanna move this convo to Telegram or Whatsapp?”
I’d then decide whether or not to give them my number by scrolling through our message history. If we have common interests, a shared sense of humor and chemistry, I’d give him eight correct digits!
Gwen, 24
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To me, I’m all about making friends, so I don’t mind giving out my number. The person who asked could be a fun hangout buddy or a potential boyfriend.
Getting to know someone as a friend first is really important as you can’t build a relationship with just physical attraction.
He should make me feel like he cares about my person, and actively finds common topics or interests.
If he’s good-looking but has a bad attitude, is narcissistic or stuck up then nahh. Pass.
Joanne, 22
I find intelligence super sexy. As I meet most of the dates through Tinder, the initial texting phase is super important. It’s through his words that I gauge how intelligent my prospective date is.
If he can demonstrate wit and humour through text, it’s a good indicator he can hold a conversation and we have chemistry. It also helps if he knows his memes.
Replying messages within 12 hours, having good grammar, and not making racist/homophobic/sexist jokes should be a given too (and if you think it’s okay to do so, please check yourself).
Shanice, 24
Most guys beat around the bush before asking for a girl’s number. While I get they’re nervous, it’s unnecessary and awkward.
If they’re straightforward and say they want my number because they’re interested in taking me out, I’d appreciate their honesty and be more likely to say yes.
Bring it up casually in conversation. If we’re talking about similar interests or an upcoming movie we’d both like to watch, say something like, “If you don’t mind, let’s go watch that movie together”.
I know it’s not easy and I applaud the bravery of guys who make the first move and ask girls out.
Clover, 25
There’s a saying, “Sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage.” The next time you see a girl you’d like to know better, take a deep breath and keep these tips in mind before asking for her number.
After all, if you never try, you’ll never know.
This article was first published on 26 January 2018 and last updated on 17 December 2023.
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