As time passes and we move into an era of non-conventionality, guest etiquette for hotel weddings seems to be frequently changing. But, there are always a few dos and don’ts that stay the same.
For those who will be attending a wedding soon, we’ve curated a guide to guest etiquette for hotel weddings in Singapore. With this guide, you’ll learn what to prepare for a wedding, as well as what to expect during the ceremony.
Unless stated otherwise in your invitation, you should not bring a plus one to a wedding.
In Singapore, most hotel weddings have limited space and pre-planned seating arrangements. Bringing an uninvited guest can lead to an awkward situation since your plus one will most likely be left without an allocated seat or even kicked out.
Moreover, if the bride and groom are unfamiliar with your plus one, they may see your action as rude and disrespectful.
Before attending a wedding, make sure to read the invitation carefully. Take note of the correct date, time, venue, et cetera. For some weddings, the bride and groom may also give additional instructions telling you what to wear and what to bring.
For most weddings in Singapore, it is customary for guests to give the couple an angpao (red packet), so remember to pack one in advance.
Image courtesy of The Smart Local
As mentioned previously, most wedding guests in Singapore will give the couple an angpao instead of a wedding gift. There are many websites online that’ll tell you how much to give for weddings at different hotels. But, if you don’t want to follow those guides, here are some simple tips.
For Chinese and Indian weddings, you should pack an amount that ends with an auspicious number — “8” for a Chinese couple and “1” for an Indian couple. Most guests give $50 or more, depending on how close they are to the couple.
In most Malay weddings, the bride and groom do not expect any gifts. If you insist on giving the couple an angpao, a good amount to pack is between $10 to $50.
Most weddings have a dress code, so make sure to abide by it according to your invitation. Besides following the dress code, here are some things to take note of when planning your outfit.
Firstly, consider the theme colours. If the hotel is decorated with pink ribbons and flowers, wearing a bright green dress would be rather off-putting. FYI, black and white represent mourning in many cultures, so avoiding them would be your best bet as well.
Also, just like at any formal occasion, clothes that are too revealing are a no-no. Spare yourself the side eyes and snide remarks from other guests.
For those that are unsure of what terms like “black tie” or “smart casual” mean, we’ve compiled some pointers to help you out.
If you’ve been invited to a black tie wedding, then you should know that the couple means business. Ladies, grab your nicest evening gowns, handbags, heels, and jewellery. Note that your dress should be floor-length.
At all black tie events, men are required to wear formal suits.
Semi-formal dress codes call for a more relaxed look. Instead of a tuxedo, men can wear suit jackets with dress pants.
Ladies, on the other hand, can wear anything from a mid to knee-length dress. If dresses are not your thing, consider donning a two piece ensemble or suit. Since guests should avoid “outshining” the bride, try to opt for fabrics with minimalistic patterns and muted colours.
Let’s admit it — the term “smart casual” can be a little confusing. After all, it’s hard to determine where the line between too formal and too casual lies.
When planning a smart casual outfit, you should keep things classy and presentable. Consider pairing a blazer with jeans, or flowy patterned blouse with tailored trousers. As a rule of thumb, try to include one casual and one formal piece of clothing in your outfit.
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There are thousands of different wedding traditions and practices. Besides cultural and religious practices, here are a few traditions that are common in hotel weddings in Singapore, so you can know what to expect.
Most weddings have a guest book for guests to sign and write a short congratulatory message.
To make sure you don’t end up freezing in front of the guest book — with a line of people behind you — it’s best to decide on what you want to write beforehand. Some examples include “may your love forever grow” or “congrats on your big day.”
Also, many couples are now moving away from traditional guest books to non-conventional ones. Don’t be surprised if you see puzzle pieces and post-it notes to sign instead.
Towards the end of a wedding reception, guests are usually asked to stand up for a toast.
In Chinese weddings, the bride and groom will lead the yam seng toast, where everyone says the word “yam” for as long as possible before ending off with a very loud “seng.” As yam seng means to drink to victory in Cantonese, the point of a yam seng toast is to wish the couple a blissful marriage, eternal love, and fertility.
At other weddings in Singapore, the couple will often give a speech to thank guests before making a toast. Close friends and relatives may also take the time to stand up and offer some well wishes to the couple.
I’m sure everyone’s familiar with the concept of bouquet tosses. In almost every wedding we see on film, the beautiful bride will toss a large bouquet of flowers to her entourage.
Historically, it is believed that whoever catches the bouquet will be the next to get married. Though it has been proven false over the years, the bouquet toss is still a fun wedding tradition to add a little bit of spice to the celebration.
Generally, the bride and groom will thank guests for attending the wedding by giving a wedding favour. Wedding favours can range from macarons and cookies to candles and soaps. Most of the time, wedding favours are given as a symbol of good luck and happiness.
Even if you do not want the gift, make sure to take it home. Not doing so means that you are rejecting the couple’s good will and is often seen as rude.
Image courtesy of The Smart Local
While keeping out of the photographer’s way seems like the obvious thing to do, you’ll be surprised to know that many guests often end up blocking or bumping into them. This creates unpleasant situations where the chance to capture a sweet moment between the bride and groom is missed.
To make sure that you don’t accidentally photobomb the couple’s photos, do look out for the photographer — especially if you’re headed somewhere near the couple.
Often, millennials and Gen-Zs are labelled as “smartphone addicts” and NGL, as a Gen-Z myself, I can’t refute — my phone is a need. However, at a wedding, continuously looking down at your phone is disrespectful to the couple.
As the couple — or their close friends and family — make a toast and speech, it is proper guest etiquette to listen attentively to what they are saying. Even if you’re not interested, you should refrain from doing anything that will draw attention away from the person speaking.
Just like movie screenings and important meetings, it is best to arrive at a wedding at least five to 30 minutes early. After all, it would be rude to arrive late and disrupt the ceremony.
If possible, try to reach as early as possible, so you’ll have time to mingle around with other guests. Of course, arrive at a reasonable time — not two hours early — as the venue needs to be prepared and the couple needs to get ready.
You don’t have to treat attending weddings like a chore. In fact, you should celebrate the big day with the couple and have fun.
Hopefully, this guide gives you a better idea of guest etiquette for hotel weddings in Singapore — so you can play a part in making the couple’s big day a tad bit more magical.
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