Singapore may be the “most forward-looking country” in the world, but when it comes to relationships, there’s no denying that we’re still far from being an open-minded nation. For instance, telling your friends and family about your desire to rent a place with your partner would probably earn you frowns, and expected responses would include “Are you sure he/she is the one?”
Despite the generic rule of only renting a place and living with your partner once you’re “ready”, Lemon8 user @livingsmall shares her story of how she did so at just 23 years old.
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Fresh out of university, the then 23-year-old @livingsmall didn’t actually care much about the future. She only wanted to “get out of a dysfunctional family”, and her boyfriend proposed living together.
At that point in time, she admitted that she had never had “the talk” with her partner, and wasn’t even sure if their relationship would last the test of time. However, she took a leap of faith, and since then, the rest has been history.
Looking back, @livingsmall believes that when you find yourself in an unorthodox situation, the decisions you make will most likely be unconventional. This means there is no point in following the rulebook written by society, and instead, do whatever works for you.
As of the time of writing, @livingsmall and her partner have bought their own place, and have ended their 7-year journey of renting a place.
Coming from someone who has been living with her partner for 7 years, @livingsmall also shares some valuable lessons that she wishes she had told her younger self.
No one said you can’t rent a place with your SO if you haven’t figured everything out. It was the case for @livingsmall, and she emphasised that “continuous effort is way more important in a relationship” instead.
This means, rather than making it a must to have everything sorted out at the beginning, it is alright to figure things out along the way.
They say you only get to know a person better when you live together. Chances are, many couples can relate to the saying because the experience allows them to discover lifestyle habits, and see sides of their partner that they never knew of before.
For @livingsmall, she pointed out how she got to “confront issues that would never have arisen otherwise”, and working through them also brought them closer. One could only see it as a blessing in disguise.
Maintaining a relationship is never an easy feat, and it takes effort and hard work, especially if you’re living with your partner. Even after being together for a long time, @livingsmall shared that she and her partner are still actively working on conflict management.
This goes to say that arguments are inevitable in every relationship, but as long as both parties are willing to resolve them in a mature manner, it is more likely that things will work out eventually.
As much as I hate to admit it, society has come up with so many “rules” that many of us subconsciously conform to them, just like how some couples only decide to rent a place together when they feel “ready”.
Perhaps through @livingsmall’s story of renting a place with her partner at 23 years old, it might inspire others to do what works best for their unique situation, and not based on societal pressure. After all, it is your life and your future.
Cover: TheSmartLocal
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