Taking Revenge on Exes
We all have that ex we’d love to take revenge on. Maybe they dumped us without warning or broke our hearts by cheating on us.
While stabbing them and burning their remains may seem like a great idea, it’s also very illegal. Moreover, most of us are genuinely nice people, preferring to nurse heartache with ice-cream or alcohol.
But not everyone’s all smiles and sweetness. Here are 7 Singaporean millennials who took revenge on their exes.
1. Destroyed his social life
I had a deep hatred for my ex after he broke up with me and I blogged about our break up—along with the fact that he had a tiny penis.
I was 18 and my blog was quite infamous among my schoolmates, so the whole school and a ‘sizeable handful’ of outsiders read the post.
After that incident, he became a social pariah. No one wanted to date him, except clueless xiao mei meis. His loud annoying personality shifted to a withdrawn and sullen one.
No regrets, no sympathy, and no f*cks given.
2. Exposed her lies on Instagram
When I was still in Uni, I was cheated on by my ex-girlfriend. The few friends I confided in spread the story across the school like wildfire. They even created a distasteful hashtag on Instagram alluding to her actions.
After a rocky on-off period trying to fix the relationship, I let her go.
I dedicated two Instagram posts to explain the sh*t she put me through. As she’s in the influencer industry, I knew the post would hurt her online image.
It took me some time to move on, but I’m in a happy place now.
3. Keyed his car and punched him in the face
My ex-boyfriend and I had our own HDB and rented the spare room to a tenant. One day, the tenant sent me a video of girls my ex-boyfriend had brought home while I was overseas.
I confronted my ex, but he denied cheating and told me I was acting crazy. Keeping my cool, I packed up my things and moved back to my parents’ house.
That night, I laid in bed unable to sleep. The more I thought about what he did, the more indignant I got. Restless, I made my way to our flat.
The lights were still on so I rang the doorbell. When he answered, I punched him square in the face. I then ran away as fast I could toward the car park where his van was at and keyed the entire vehicle.
Satisfied, I went home and slept like a baby.
4. Cut up all her clothes
My ex-girlfriend cheated on me with her colleague. I found out when my friend texted me he saw her holding hands with another guy.
I confronted her, she admitted the affair and said I was “stupid and gullible for believing in her”. Incredulous, I broke up with her and went to her place to get my things back.
When I arrived, I told her mum what had happened, and that I needed to pick up my things in her room. Claiming a need for privacy, I locked the door.
I then took the pair of scissors sitting on her desk and cut up all her clothes. I made sure to leave the cut-up pieces on the hangers so that nothing seemed out of place.
Now when she says she has nothing to wear, she’d actually be telling the truth.
5. Made his new girlfriend break up with him
I broke up with my then boyfriend after I found out he was cheating on me with multiple girls.
Within two short months, he got together with a new girl. I was angry and jealous because he got over me so quickly.
I thought, “He’s cheating on her too, obviously”. So I devised a plan: I’d ask him out for a meal under the guise of friendship and check his phone when he leaves the table.
Turns out, he was cheating on his new girlfriend. I took down his girlfriend’s phone number and texted her after. When she found out, she dumped him and we became best friends.
6. Glitter-bombed him
Before my friend and her ex-boyfriend had a clean break up, he posted an IG photo of him and his new girlfriend captioned “Love the way you are”.
Upset, she took a cab all the way to NTU to confront him, begging him to come back to her. In the heat of the moment, they had sex. But after they were done, he told her never to contact him again.
Enraged, she bought a ton of glitter and threw it all over his room—his floors, bed, clothes, desk and laptop were covered in sparkle.
When he found the mess, he remained unrepentant. Using the glitter, he traced out the name of the girl he had two-timed my friend with, declaring his love for her.
The picture went viral and online netizens started bashing him. Hopefully, by the time he’s done cleaning up the mess, he’d learn never to cheat on a girl again.
7. Jizzed into her facial wash
The night my girlfriend broke up with me, I got drunk outside Canteen 2 with my bros. It was so sudden—she had blocked me on all her social media accounts, I couldn’t even call to ask her why.
Drunk, we started making plans for revenge and decided on ‘adding ingredients’ into her facial wash. We made our way down to her hall and sneaked into her room.
Grabbing the bottle, we went to the nearby toilet and took turns fapping into it. When we were done, I added an extra glob of spit into it and placed it back onto the shelf.
It’s definitely not my proudest moment, but imagining her putting ‘our special concoction’ all over her face brought me joy.
Forgive But Don’t Forget
Moral of the story: hell hath no fury like a lover scorned. While revenge can seem like a good way to get even with your ex, it really isn’t. Forgiving and moving on is the best thing you can do.
After all, revenge is sweet, but letting them realise they’ve lost the best damn thing in their life whilst stalking your Facebook, is sweeter.