Being a man isn’t just about getting a 9 to 5 job, paying the bills, and getting the 8-pack abs of your dreams. It’s about being a kind, considerate, and decent human being. Here are some immature things guys do that are complete turn-offs.
1. Being rude to any sort of service staff
This applies to both genders. No, the 10% service charge doesn’t entitle you to treat waiters like your personal butlers. Just because someone’s rice bowl is to serve you food, doesn’t give you the right to abuse him/her. Yes, service staff are trained to handle it, but that doesn’t mean you should throw your weight around.
2. Thinking that being “nice” entitles you to a girl’s affections
“That bitch left me for a douche-bag, even though I’m such a nice guy!” Genuinely nice guys don’t have to proclaim their niceness. Actions speak for themselves, and we’ll judge from what you do, not what you say. It’s also important to remember that treating a girl nicely doesn’t entitle you to their affections.
3. Categorising everything girls do with “as usual, girls”
Bad mood? Must be PMS.
Unhappy? Must be PMS.
Doesn’t like me? Must be PMS.
Contrary to popular belief, not all negative emotions a girl goes through are due to PMS. Yes, hormone imbalances are a bitch, but there are other factors that contribute to a bad mood. It’s unfair to blatantly stereotype every girl’s problems. Sure, PMS definitely affects a girl’s mood, but a lot of times, it only triggers or amplifies the real issues.
4. Referring to all ex-es as “bitches/crazy”
We get it, you’re heartbroken. You may choose to vent about your ex who cheated on you with your best friend, but there has to be a limit. If it was due to a communication breakdown, incompatibility, or simply the fading of feelings, calling your ex a “crazy bitch” only reflects your own immaturity. If a break-up automatically warrants a stream of ugly, demeaning words, then you’re not mature enough to handle a proper relationship.
5. Being sexually selfish
If you roll over the second you’re satisfied, chances are you’re ignoring your partner’s needs. It’s easier for guys to orgasm from sex than girls, who usually need a little help—because no, it’s not easy for a girl to orgasm from penetration alone. Mutual satisfaction is important, and if you want to keep a girl interested in sleeping with you, you better give her a reason to want to.
6. Thinking that they’re the only one with problems
A good conversation is a two-way street. When you blabber on and on about how much NS sucks, it’s a definite turn-off. We all go through our own trials and tribulations, and although you may feel as if yours are so much worse, it’s important to let the other party speak and contribute to the conversation.
7. Thinking that muscles make a man
It’s admirable to keep fit and take care of your body, but it’s another thing to be obsessed with becoming the epitome of a “manly-man”. Having a good character is definitely more important than as nice physical appearance in the long run. You don’t have to brag about how much you can lift to prove your masculinity, or incessantly flex to show off your muscles.
8. Objectifying women
“Wah, look at that chiobu! Damn nice ass sia.”
Social media has made it very easy to find pretty girls. They’re all over Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook, Youtube, etc. This causes a disregard for women’s feelings and capabilities, as you don’t see them as actual people anymore, but a game to be hunted down. This is dangerous, as it projects ideals onto real-life relationships and causes unrealistic expectations.
9. When they make uninformed, sexist comments
“Men will prefer you with no makeup”, “Girls shouldn’t curse”, “Oh you use birth control? You must be a slut then”. Berating a girl for her personal preferences aren’t just turn-offs—they’re downright rude. Again, this all boils down to respect.
10. ALWAYS having to be right
“I think McDonald’s has the best burgers!”
“Actually, I disagr…”
“Aiya you don’t know one lah.”
This also applies to both genders. Humans will always have different opinions, and that’s what makes life interesting! However, there are always people who die die must be right. By listening to a variety of opinions, we can expand our mindsets and understand another person’s point of view.
“Come, let me show you how it’s done”
“But I already know….”
“No no no, let me show you how it’s done the right way”
If you’re guilty of this, you’re guilty of mansplaining. Years in a patriarchal society has ingrained both men and women with the idea that men know better. Both genders have their strengths and weaknesses, but that also means that women are perfectly capable of doing things themselves. We’re not afraid of asking if we need help, but if we’re fine doing our own thing, please don’t try to be a valiant prince charming and “come to our rescue”.
12. Freaking out over our monthly visit from mother nature
Face it guys, periods are part and parcel of a woman’s life. Although it’s just a bodily function, many guys tend to squirm and get uncomfortable when a girl mentions that she’s having “that time of the month”. Grow up, boys. It’s just blood…coming from a place you popped out from. Surprise!
13. Bragging about the number of girls that are into them
We get it, you’re “Mr. Hotshot”. However, what good does it do to anyone if you brag about how many girls you have under your belt? And please don’t over-exaggerate the number. It’s your own business, not everyone else’s, so keep your mouth shut and be grateful that so many girls want to give you a chance.
What Makes a Man
At the end of the day, turn-offs are subjective to individuals. Not all of these are specific to boys alone, as girls are just as susceptible to bad manners and self-centredness. However, everyone wants someone who’s well-mannered, understanding, and a genuinely nice person to be around. Is that really too much to ask?