Love Lessons From Single-Parent Families
Growing up, mothers are our go-to-gals whenever we need advice on fashion, friendship and cooking. While there’s no denying that they can get naggy at times, chances are, they indeed know best.
From taking care of us in subtle ways to providing practical solutions to our problems, mothers can also be advisors when it comes to love and relationships. We asked five girls from single-parent families to share the greatest lesson they have learned about love from their mothers, and how it changed their lives.
1. “Only date a person who has been through NS”
Image courtesy of Qian Yi
“TBH, my mother and I are on good terms but we weren’t very close in the past. As my parents divorced when I was a teenager, I went through a rebellious phase ‒ my mother and I were at odds every other week. Although it took almost 10 years for us to iron things out, I’m glad to share that we can freely share about personal and work stuff now.
While my mother barely talks to me about relationships and love, she did advise me to only date a guy who has completed NS.
Essentially, any pre-NS male is just a boy who isn’t mature enough. I believe she doesn’t want me to waste my time on boys who aren’t serious about a relationship. Perhaps if I had heard that piece of advice earlier, I wouldn’t have had my heart broken when I was younger during my secondary school days.”
– Qian Yi, 26
2. “Always give your all to care for your partner”
Image courtesy of Erica
“Growing up, my mother led by example when it came to showing selfless love. Back in the past when my father suffered from investment losses, she didn’t hesitate to help him pay off a portion of his debt.
Her actions show that it is important to always give your all and to do your best to care for your partner no matter what the situation is. At the end of the day, you love the person and want the best for them.
As I am close to my mother, she has the biggest influence on me in relationships. She taught me how to express my feelings and show concern for my loved ones. Plus, I’ve always followed the love advice she gave because they actually work.
On occasions when I heeded the advice, I also reflected on my actions which allowed me to grow into a better version of myself. If not for her wise words, I wouldn’t have stayed in my current relationship for 6 years, so I am very blessed to have her by my side.”
– Erica, 25
3. “Understand the nature of your partner in different circumstances”
Image courtesy of Chloe
“As my parents separated when I was very young, it wasn’t easy for me to understand the reason behind the divorce. After all, you’re only taught to marry someone and spend the rest of your life with your other half.
My mother and I only became closer as we grew older, and a love lesson she taught me was to try and understand the nature of a partner in different circumstances. I believe she wants me to know that people change over time, and in various situations. Even though they are physically the same, they might not be the same person you loved before.
Her advice turned out to be a blessing as she made me realise my ex-boyfriend was not the one for me. It was obvious that he changed and I knew that he wasn’t the person I wanted to be with. Eventually, I called the shots and initiated the breakup. If it weren’t for my mother, I wouldn’t have known what was best for me.”
– Chloe, 24
4. “Wait for the “right” person to come”
Image courtesy of Elizabeth
“It has been a decade since my father passed, and during all those years, my mother has stayed single. It is a lie if I said it didn’t influence me on love and relationship as she always tells my sister and me to wait for the “right” person to come. Perhaps because of that advice, I find it comfortable being single and have a sense of fulfilment in that.
I don’t find myself desperate to search for a significant other as my mother shows that she is doing fine alone. Plus, she also reminds me that I shouldn’t rely on anyone as I have to lead my own life at the end of the day. There was even one time when she commented that “relationships just give you more problems to deal with.”
Despite having endured many hardships after my father’s passing, my mother stayed with faith that things would improve. Eventually, things did get better and she became the strongest woman that I know and look up to.”
– Elizabeth, 19
5. “Learn how to say ‘no’”
Image courtesy of Hazirah
“What’s so admirable about my mother is the fact that she raised me on her own for 12 years before she met my stepfather. As we only have an age gap of 17 years, I find it easy to share things with her even when it is about love and relationships. Plus, she is always there whenever I need someone.
She often reminds me the importance of saying “no”, and to not give my heart away too easily. This probably stems from her past mistake when she was younger and she also doesn’t want me to repeat the same mistake she made.
As my mother was a single-parent and had to work hard to provide for me in the past, the lack of physical and nurturing demonstrations of love has influenced what I seek from a partner in a relationship. While I don’t blame her for that, I believe everyone makes mistakes, and ultimately, it is about the learning process which makes us better people.”
– Hazirah, 20
These Love Lessons From Mothers Show How Strength Is Passed Down From Generations
These girls and their stories prove that there is nothing like a mother’s love. Their mums’ strength also shows how lessons imparted are passed down from generation to generation.
In line with these inspiring stories, Lancôme’s #StrongIsTheNewYoung campaign allows any woman to share their strength on social media as a way to empower each other. They hope that the strong messages will uplift the community and invite others to express themselves too.
Alongside the campaign, Lancôme has also rolled out their anti-ageing serum Advanced Génifique, which aims to improve skin condition in just seven days. While strength is built emotionally and mentally, we also can’t neglect building our skin’s toughness to external factors and challenges.
Lancôme’s Advanced Génifique
For the unacquainted, the Advanced Génifique contains a total of seven pre and probiotics that strengthen the skin’s microbiome to speed up skin recovery by 77%.
FYI, a stronger skin microbiome is essential to better lock in hydration and defends the skin against aggressors like dry weather due to Singapore’s erratic climate.
With just a single drop of the moisturising serum, you can expect signs of ageing on your skin to significantly improve. You get to witness the recovery of healthy younger skin and glow with a firmer and smoother complexion.
That’s not all ‒ the serum is also enriched with goodness like Bidifus Prebiotic, Hyaluronic Acid, and Vitamin C, which help to reduce fine lines and improve skin elasticity. An all-in-one anti-ageing serum? Yes, please.
Make Lancôme’s Advanced Génifique Your Go-To Anti-Ageing Serum For Greater Skin Strength
Just like the stories the girls we spoke to shared about their mothers, strength comes with age and experience. Likewise, getting older doesn’t mean we have to compromise our skin health.
While we can’t stop ageing, we can still look good while we slow down the process. Suitable for women of all ages, skin types, and skin tones, Advanced Génifique is a new addition you’ll want to add to your daily beauty regimen.
Interested folks who are keen on experiencing the change in their skin can purchase Advanced Génifique at $180 (50ml) on Lancôme’s official website.
Cover images courtesy of Erica Tan and Elizabeth Chua.
Photography by Doreen Fan.
This post is brought to you by Lancôme.