Being cheated on hurts. It feels like your heart’s being crushed as rejection, disappointment and anger washes over you. You can’t help but wonder why—was it because you weren’t good enough? Was it because they didn’t love you?
Ultimately, you have to make a choice—do you dump them or give them another chance? While some may choose to end the relationship, others are more forgiving. Having chosen the latter decision, these 8 Singaporean girls share with us what it’s like to take a cheating boyfriend back.
*Names were changed to protect some identities.
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I’ve been dating my boyfriend for four years and he has cheated on me numerous times.
Despite trying to be discreet, I know he’s always texting someone else. He’d add random girls on Facebook or hit up girls on dating apps.
My friends say I should just end the relationship, but the familiarity and comfort it offers always stops me from breaking up with him.
Recently, I’ve downloaded Tinder and started seeing other guys. My conscience tells me cheating is wrong, but another part of me figures there’s no harm playing the field.
After all, it’s exactly what he’s doing.
Naomi, 20
On three separate occasions, I caught my ex-boyfriend cheating. Yet, I took him back every single time.
Trust is the foundation of any relationship, and his unfaithfulness completely shattered my belief in him. Gradually, I became a crazy green-eyed-monster.
I constantly needed to know where he was, what he was doing, and who he was with. Whenever I had the opportunity, I would check his phone to see if he was texting other girls.
After three months, we called it quits.
Though I’m dating someone new, I still find it hard to trust and get over my jealous tendencies.
Yvonne, 22
Throughout the span of our one-year relationship, my then boyfriend repeatedly cheated on me.
My self-confidence took a hit when I found out about his multiple side chicks—I felt I wasn’t good enough for him.
I became insecure and paranoid as I was afraid he would cheat on me again. The constant worrying took a toll on my mental health and left me feeling emotionally drained.
Just last week, I found out he was using dating apps and confronted him. He told me he no longer loved me and only stayed because he knew I would always give him another chance.
That was the last straw. I broke up with him and demanded he return all my things. Despite the heartbreak, I’m better off alone than being with someone who doesn’t appreciate me.
Li Qing, 23
When I found out my ex had cheated on me with girls on Tinder, I broke up with him immediately. That night, he slept with another girl.
Still, I took him back because he apologised and claimed she was a stupid mistake.
Over the course of 6 months, he became insecure and controlling, constantly demanding to check my phone. I was willing to let his bad behaviour go, until I found out he was on Tinder again.
Somehow, he rationalised I would want to take revenge on him by cheating with other guys, and convinced himself to cheat on me before I cheated on him.
I dumped his psycho ass the moment I found out. Till today, he still texts me in hopes of getting back together. Thanks, but no thanks—I’m good without a crazy boyfriend.
Monica, 20
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I took my boyfriend back even though he cheated twice.
No matter how hard I tried to forget, looking at him triggered memories of his cheating.
Whenever he tried to be romantic or affectionate, I’d feel disgusted. I’d wonder how many lips had touched his or how many other hands he’s held.
Something in me had snapped and I was unable to reconnect with him or trust him anymore.
The third time he cheated, I let him go. My patience had run thin and I couldn’t get over his unfaithfulness. Till today, the thought of him leaves a sour taste in my mouth.
Esther, 24
When I was getting to know my ex-boyfriend, he confessed he’d never been faithful to any of his exes. Despite the huge red flag, I still got together with him.
The relationship was going well for awhile until I accidentally logged onto his Facebook account.
There were flirtatious messages from several girls he had previously dated.
Despite his infidelity, I gave him another chance. Later, I found out he had continued to text these random girls and even slept with some of them.
Heartbroken, I called off the relationship. I should’ve known better—once a cheater, always a cheater.
Claire, 25
Unlike most couples, I didn’t find out my boyfriend’s infidelity from a third party. Instead, he sat me down and confessed to his mistake.
I was heartbroken but stayed with him as he seemed sincere about mending his ways.
Like the saying goes, “If something is broken, fix it, don’t just throw it away”.
He got better at communicating and became more transparent, allowing me access to his mobile phone and social media accounts. I learnt how to forgive and forget, becoming more empathetic in the process.
We went on to date for another six years before he proposed. Now, we’re happily married and our relationship is stronger than before.
Joanne, 26
My ex and I were in a long-distance relationship. Despite being far apart, I never had any trust issues until I found out he was using Wechat to hook up with random girls.
Though I gave him another chance, I was angry and wanted revenge. I wanted him to be friendless, jobless and broke.
I told him I’d only come back to him if he moved in with me. Willingly, he sold his car, apartment, and said goodbye to his friends.
Back in Singapore, things were going well and I had given up my vengeful plans. That was until I found him texting underage girls and Filipino helpers on dodgy dating apps.
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, I immediately kicked him out of the house, leaving him to fend for himself.
Last I heard, he’s still jobless and can’t move back as his visa got denied. I guess he’s really stuck here forever.
Katrina, 23
If you’re unsure whether or not to give your partner another chance, it’s good to take a step back and assess the situation. Whatever your choice, put yourself first and make a decision that’s best for you.
This article was first published on 2 August 2017 and last updated on 27 May 2024.
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