The Boobalicious Life
Being busty is both a blessing and a curse. There are days when I love my boobs because they make me look bomb AF in bodycon dresses.
But there are also days where I wish they were smaller because they’ve split the side of my shirt again. If you’re also a little heavy on the top, you probably can relate to these big boob problems.
1. You know they attract attention
Hello guys and girls, our eyes are up here. FYI, we know what you’re looking at, we just choose to ignore it because we’re nice.
2. You hear “Real or fake one sia?!” a lot
3. Your clothes automatically become sexy and sometimes offend aunties on the MRT
You could be wearing the exact same shirt as someone else and your dressing would be considered inappropriate. Take buttoned shirts for example.
There’s always that one button at the chest area which goes “Open sesame” and causes you to zhao-geng like crazy when you stretch.
4. You can’t workout without sports bras
Spontaneously joining sports events at ECP is out of the question. You can’t run or exercise without feeling self-conscious and when you do, you need at least two sports bras for that extra support.
Not to mention, changing out of them immediately after your workout is necessary because they’re actually kinda suffocating you.
5. Your best friend and worst enemy will always be underwires
Underwiring in bras provide all the support you need but can stab you till you bleed. It’s a love-hate relationship you can’t afford to live without.
6. You get back and shoulder pains
Why go to the gym when it’s back and shoulders day all day, every day. Not to mention, the strap marks and stretch marks hurt like a b*tch.
7. Your cleavage is your personalised storage
You can tuck your cash and cards into the most accessible, safest place ever: your bra. Perfect for a night out at Zouk.
Also, you can store snacks on-the-go because food falls in there most of the time anyway.
*Checks to see no one is looking*
*Retrieves Salted Egg Yolk Chip*
8. You struggle to cross your arms
There is just no right way.
9. You can’t sleep face down
While some might think it’s comfortable and squishy to sleep face down, in reality, it hurts. Imagine sleeping with two huge watermelons pressing against your chest. (Not all boobs are soft, sorz guys.)
10. You have nowhere to buy bras
The average cup size of a Singaporean woman is about A to C. So it is no wonder curvy women rarely find stores which carry our size. Even Taobao usually carry sizes ranging from A to B.
If we do find a well-fitted piece, it’s always expensive AF. I get envious when I see my friends shopping at Far East Plaza and buying bikinis for half the price of what I pay for one.
Don’t even get me started on how hard it is to buy sports bras.
11. Your sling-bags and seat belts = floss for your boobs
Super awkward, especially when you’re riding shotgun in a Taxi/Grab/Uber. You also need to worry about them boobs going mad when the car drives over a hump.
12. You don’t understand push up bras in your cup size
13. Your reach is limited
You think you can grab the utensils across the table while sitting comfortably in your
chair but, nope. Guess who’s doing the Stand-and-Reach.
Shaving your legs is also a struggle. If struggling to breathe while bent over isn’t hard enough, you now have shaving cream all over your chest.
14. You can never wear strapless clothing
Most people underestimate the power of bra straps. Strapless bras can’t keep the sisters together as they often drop and lowkey become belts.
15. You need everything oversized
The rest of you is a size M but you’re gonna need to get a shirt in L or XL ‘cause boobs. Thank God oversized clothing is on trend now.
16. Your boobs always get hit by accident
Fun fact: A friend once kicked off my boobs unintentionally while swimming. Ouch.
17. You can’t wear high-collars cause they give you a uni-boob
18. You get underboob sweat a lot
Everyone gets it, even people who have regular sized boobs. But for us, it’s so much worse in Singapore’s humid weather. A moment of silence for all the soaked shirts and tank tops.
19. You can’t wear long necklaces
They always annoy you by either falling in and getting uncomfortably stuck between your cleavage or repeatedly bounce off your twin peaks when you walk.
20. You use them as furniture
Sometimes in bed, you use them as a table for your laptop. Other times, you use your boobs as stoppers and prevent things from rolling off tables.
21. You have to hug people sideways
Side hugs are better because when you hug someone your boobs either end up awkwardly squished or all up in the person’s face. God forbid you hug someone taller who’s equally busty. #boobfest
22. You get the quadruple boob syndrome
23. You worry about your boobs swelling when you have children
‘Cause how much bigger are they gonna get?! Yikes.
24. You have an irrational fear of premature boob sagging
That satisfying feeling of finally taking off the boob cage after a long day at the office, only to sink into a state of mild panic as you stare at yourself in the mirror wondering if they look any lower than yesterday.
25. You get asked if you’ll get breast reduction
Love Your Curves
At the end of the day, we all have different body types and compositions so embrace the big boobs you’ve been given!