There’s no sugarcoating the struggles of being a parent — it’s a full-time job with a commitment for life. And with how much society has changed over the years, raising a child in today’s generation is certainly a lot different from our parents’ generation.
Recently, child leashes have become a common sight in public places like shopping malls and busy streets. These are often used on toddlers, especially those with special needs such as ADHD or autism, and come with a safety harness across their body. The leash prevents the child from being separated from their parents when out in public.
However, with more sightings of child leashes, it has also led to a discussion among many parents — is it really ethical to use one? We spoke to seven parents in Singapore to find out their views and learn why they would or would not use one on their own children.
Disclaimer: Some names have been altered to protect the identities of our interviewees.
Contents
Image courtesy of Jessica
“I have one daughter that is two years old. Most times, she is quite easy to manage when we’re out in public. She has dashed off a couple of times, but I usually manage to get her to stop, or keep her within my field of vision.
As to whether I’m for or against child leashes, my answer would’ve been very different before I had kids. I was still in my early 20s when I saw a child on a leash for the first time. NGL, I was quite immature and found it funny. I judged parents for using it because it made the child look like a pet.
But as I read and saw more of it being used, I realised that it’s far from funny. If your kid is a flight risk, I would imagine that as a responsible parent, you’d do everything to make sure that they are safe and close. Yes, it may restrict the child’s movement and make them upset. But if the overarching purpose is to keep your child from getting hurt or lost, then I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.
Having an active child myself, I’m now totally for it. I would use it as a last resort, and I am open to the idea of using one if ever needed to. I do hope that with more avenues to spread positivity and understanding on social media, child leashes can become more of a norm in society.”
— Jessica, 34
“My daughter was hyperactive as a child. When she was younger, my wife put a bell around her ankle at home so that we always knew where she was. When outside, she was put on a child leash. This was in 1997, where child leashes were not as common.
Parents love their kids. They never want to lose them. My daughter went missing twice before and we never wanted it to happen again. One time, my wife was out buying groceries and she ran away to look for toys. She didn’t respond when we called for her and I was really scared that someone would kidnap her.
There’s no right or wrong to using a leash, but it is ultimately our job to look after our children. Someone recommended the leash to me and I felt that it was very safe and comfortable. We didn’t have to worry about her being lost again.
There’s nothing bad about leashing a child. We’re not chaining them up or using a dog leash — those are inhumane. We used a proper device that comes with a safety belt, appropriate for children.
Using a child leash also depends on the kid. You don’t want to unnecessarily leash them for no reason. If your kids are well-behaved, then it’s fine. But for hyperactive ones that are out of control, you can consider this method instead.”
— Ian, 64
Image courtesy of Kayce
“I have two children aged eight and five years old. When they were younger, they were mostly in prams or baby carriers. I’m sure many parents feel that it’s mentally draining to bring kids out in public because of the amount of focus you need to keep them safe and out of trouble.
If a parent feels that they need to use a child leash, and it gives them better peace of mind when they are out with their kids, then definitely go ahead. I have not used a child leash before, but definitely considered using it in the past when I first learnt of it.
People like to judge without understanding the struggles that other parents are going through. It’s really none of their business, because it’s not their child, and it probably makes them feel better about themselves since they are against using these leashes.”
— Kayce, 37
Image courtesy of Ayu
“I have four children aged 21, 8, 3 and 1. Being a young parent, I did not expect that kids would be so active. When I first heard about child leashes, I thought that it was a great idea.
I have used it once with my child in Bangkok while on a holiday. Instead of connecting it onto her back, I tied it on her wrist and mine. It’s definitely easier for parents to watch over their children this way. And for parents with multiple children, they can keep everyone safe and secure within their sight.
But it’s hard to use it without getting judgemental looks from others who think we are treating our children like animals. I’ve still not seen many parents using child leashes here in Singapore, but I would say please use it if you need to and ignore the misconceptions.”
— Ayu, 38
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Image courtesy of Kim
“My toddlers are aged 3 and 5. When I had one child, it wasn’t an issue when we were out in public because my eyes were always on her. In crowded places, I’d always have her in the carrier.
Two toddlers is when it gets tricky because they move fast in different directions. But I’ve never considered a child leash. The furthest my imagination got was those child backpacks with the strap attached to it, but once I gave it real thought, it was obvious that it wasn’t very practical.
I’m someone who always goes out with both children on my own. And it is manageable. It might drive you a little bit mad, but you don’t need a leash. There are always more ethical options like a double stroller. I’ve even tandem-carried both kids with baby carriers before.
I’ve always found it more effective to restrain a crying child in a carrier or stroller. Now that they’re older, I always tell them to stick together when we’re out and hold hands. My elder daughter looks out for my son, and they know if they venture out of sight, they’ll get lost.
I think all parents face issues with managing their children in public, but it’s about managing them. No shade to parents who want to use leashes, but your kids aren’t dogs. And if you wouldn’t have liked a leash on you as a child, then you know what to do.”
— Kim, 32
“I am a father of two children aged 3 and 1 this year. When out in public, they are generally manageable and do not run away. Of course, they throw tantrums at times, but they will eventually stop after I’ve talked to them.
My first impression of children on child leashes was that they looked like pets on a leash. But after understanding the reasons behind it, I realise why some adults choose to use it. But I won’t ever use it — perhaps only as a very last resort.
Using a child leash limits their movement and they receive judgement from the public. Though I do agree that with a leash your child won’t run away and that it’s easier to supervise, I don’t think it’s becoming increasingly common for parents to use leashes.
I think some important things to instil into your child are setting expectations, being consistent and disciplining them properly. Teach your child to behave in public, then trust that they make the right choices.”
— Jacob, 30
Source
“My two young children are 6 and 2 years old. Some struggles I face when bringing them out in public include them refusing to hold hands because they want to “do it themselves”. They also run around big spaces and touch many different things.
I feel uncomfortable with the idea of a child leash. We have dogs at home and leashing was always associated with pets — never children.
I’ve never used it before and probably never will. I would rather use other methods like baby carriers because it feels a lot safer, keeps my kids even closer to me and can even prevent people from touching them because they’re so close to my body.
Child leashes keep your kids close by but I also wonder how safe it really is. What if your child suddenly makes a dash for it and the leash pulls hard on the body part that it is attached to? Of course, another con is that you probably would get a lot of eyeballs.
To parents who are struggling to keep an eye on their children in public, teach them about stranger danger, give them boundaries and designate a spot they can always return to should they get lost.”
— Emily, 33
As child leashes have become more common in recent years, there are many pros and cons for parents to utilise them.
At the end of the day, there’s no strict guidelines on how to be a parent. Every child is different and requires different types of care and attention, so parents should follow their heart to do what they feel is best for their own children.
Responses have been edited for brevity and clarity.
Cover: Images courtesy of the interviewee, Source
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