As someone who grew up loving Disney princess animations, I always thought living happily ever after with your significant other was a given. I never realised that breaking up was an alternate ending until I watched Wong Fu Productions’ Strangers, Again when I was a teenager. It was then that I came to understand why relationships end, and the fact that we could never foresee things like our partner cheating on us.
But that doesn’t mean we should give up on love, just like 32-year-old Margarita. She ended a 10-year relationship with her ex-husband, and found love again on dating apps. Ahead, I spoke to her on how she returned to the dating game, and her plans for the future with her now-boyfriend, Bryce.
Names were changed in the article to protect identities.
Every romantic relationship begins the same way ‒ you meet someone who catches your eye, you fall in love with them, and it feels as if you just can’t live without the person. Margarita went through these stages when she first met her ex-husband at university. Their love blossomed over time, and they later tied the knot.
For a decade, they had been each other’s exclusive, but it was only earlier last year when Margarita found out that he had cheated on her with someone from her close circle. You can only imagine just how shocked and disgusted Margarita felt.
“He told me out of the blue one day when he returned home,” Margarita said. “I was too stunned by the confession because there were no signs of cheating.”
While some people might choose to forgive their partner, Margarita did not do so. The reason? He had already cheated on her before, with someone else.
Thankfully, Margarita had a group of supportive girlfriends who were there for her. They backed her decision to get a divorce, unlike the other group of mutual friends she had with her then-husband.
“They said things like “Oh, you’re overreacting” and “You’re being overly emotional,”” Margarita shared. “It felt as if they were gaslighting me into thinking that I was the one at fault.”
Nevertheless, Margarita went ahead with the divorce with the support of her family, and restarted life with brand new eyes.
The finalisation of her divorce meant Margarita now had the opportunity to meet new people and expand her social circle. While her parents were worried about her getting hurt again, she didn’t want to restrict herself to falling in love a second time.
But being with her ex-husband for 10 years also meant that Margarita didn’t have many dating experiences. In an attempt to enter the dating scene six months after the divorce, she decided to give dating apps a try since she had heard many great things about them from her friends.
“I told myself to just try one or two dating apps and see how it goes from there,” Margarita said.
Well, it appeared that everything was going swimmingly, especially when she stumbled upon Bryce’s profile on Bumble.
There are plenty of ways for a dating profile to stand out, and one of them includes putting in the effort to show others that you’re serious about dating. That was how it was with Bryce’s profile ‒ Margarita found it descriptive and liked how it also showed his personality.
“I thought he looked pretty cool and I didn’t mind getting to know him better,” Margarita shared.
With that being said, Margarita made the first move and started a conversation with Bryce on the Bumble app.
Despite taking a few days for Bryce to reply to Margarita, they fortunately hit it off and began texting each other a lot more in the next couple of days before planning to meet up over a long weekend IRL. She agreed and you could say the rest is history.
“When I went to meet Bryce, I was actually late because of a traffic jam, but luckily he didn’t think that I was standing him up,” Margarita mentioned.
Instead, Margarita made quite a memorable first impression on Bryce, especially since she was very apologetic about being late. He even found her cute, and was surprised that her energy matched his.
As they carried on with their date in a cafe, they noticed that they were having conversations that didn’t quite make sense unless they shared their relationship history. Margarita came clean about being a divorcee, and it turned out that Bryce was also one.
Perhaps because of their similarity in life experiences, Margarita and Bryce were able to connect on a deeper level almost instantly. The first date ended with promising signs, and sure enough, Bryce asked Margarita out on a work date about a week later.
It didn’t take long before they became a couple officially, and they have been dating for almost 8 months as of the time of writing.
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Image courtesy of Margarita
There is always something exciting about starting a new relationship. But considering the fact that Margarita and Bryce went through a divorce, it was not surprising that they had initial reservations about embarking on a new journey with each other.
“My divorce left me with trust issues, but Bryce has been very transparent with me,” Margarita admitted. “We always communicate with each other, and it has significantly helped me deal with them.”
As for Bryce, he mentioned it was about making sure that the other person was also looking for a serious relationship.
“I entered the dating scene with a mindset of looking for someone serious about settling down,” Bryce explained. “I didn’t want to waste anyone’s time and vice versa.”
Comparing her relationship with Bryce and the one she had with her ex-husband, Margarita found herself being able to talk to Bryce about everything. For context, she found her ex-husband as someone who was rather sensitive about certain topics.
“Bryce actually listens to me, and he tries to understand where I was coming from,” Margarita commented. “He makes me feel safe and also validates my opinions.”
This goes without saying that Margarita is able to be herself, and have discussions with Bryce without worrying about getting into fights.
Well, that’s it guys, Bryce has officially spoiled the relationship market. Jokes aside, it is pretty obvious that both Margarita and Bryce have lucked out with finding each other. And when they shared their dating news with their respective friends and families, they were elated and excited about their new start.
As a new couple, Margarita and Bryce haven’t had any huge fights yet, and the only challenge that they have experienced is staying far away from each other. This means unlike couples who live close to each other, they can’t do impromptu meetups and see each other whenever they want.
“It takes a bit more effort to plan our meetups since it takes about an hour to drive to each other’s house,” Margarita shared.
To resolve this issue, Margarita mentioned that Bryce has actually bought a house, which is still being built. Once he receives the keys, they will move in together.
Without a doubt, this significant step underscores the depth of commitment shared between Margarita and Bryce. Most importantly, it also solidifies the trust they have for each other and the plans they have as a couple in the future.
Not every divorcee gets a second chance at love, and it is heartwarming to see that Margarita and Bryce have each other. Now that they have considered settling down as a couple, some of their future plans include getting married and eventually starting a family. But currently, marriage isn’t something that they have discussed extensively.
Sharing advice with those who are planning to reenter the dating scene after being hurt in previous relationships, particularly divorcees, Margarita advises them to “widen their circle of friends and step out of their comfort zone.” After all, you never know who you might eventually meet.
Bryce agrees and recommends “meeting more people so it helps you to understand what you want in a relationship.” By doing so, you can figure out your priorities, likes and dislikes better when looking for a new relationship.
Many things happen in life for a reason, and sometimes, we don’t understand why it happens until much later. Margarita’s story shows us that there is nothing wrong with starting over and finding the right person because you are in charge of your life. Chances are, they will eventually find their way towards you.
Cover: TheSmarLocal, Image courtesy of Margarita
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