“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me”. As much as we want to believe that’s true, some harsh words have the tendency to stick to us, especially when they gnaw at our greatest insecurities.
Be it from a lover or a pure stranger, these Singaporean girls share the most hurtful things guys have said to them.
*Some names were changed to protect identities
Contents
I was starting to get emotionally invested in a guy I was casually dating. One time after a huge fight with my family, I needed a person to confide in so I texted him to ask him to meet. But do you know what he replied? “I don’t need you, I don’t want you. I’ll call you when I feel like it which isn’t today”. It made me feel really shitty because I realised how one-sided our relationship was.
Deborah, 18
My boyfriend broke up with me right before Chinese New Year. When I asked for the reason why he wanted to break up, all he said was “I want to be alone.” It was a simple sentence but it affected me greatly because he sounded so exasperated and it made me feel like a sack of burden in another person’s life. The whole thing made me stop wanting to rely on other people for fear that I might trouble them.
Sab, 19
We’d just made up after an argument and I asked him, “Do you love me?” over text, and he couldn’t reply. When we met up for our date the next day, he broke up with me and said that he just got together with me out of pity. Thankfully, the break up was the best part of the relationship.
Ashlyn, 21
When my ex-boyfriend apologised and tried to patch things after a ‘break’, I chanced upon a text he sent to his friend the same day I took him back. It was about a new girl he was checking out during our ‘break’. He said, “haha she’s more like my next bitch.” That felt like a double stab.
Chrys, 24
I was the only girl in my Secondary 2 Chinese tuition class, and at 14 years old, puberty hadn’t hit the boys hard yet. They all still had their baby skin, but I already had acne problems. My male tuition teacher, completely oblivious to the plight of acne-ridden teenage girls, said in front of the whole class, “Charlene why don’t you just wash your face?”. It was really hurtful then but now I just find it funny when I look back.
Charlene, 19
I was working at a retail jewellery store. While I was replacing the tags on some rings, a guy walked in with his wife. He stopped at the cashier counter and asked me, “Why did you dye your hair that colour?”. I just laughed and said “for fun” but he replied, “It looks bad. If I were your father I’d never let you walk out the house like that. How do you expect to be taken seriously with that hair?” I’m used to rude customers that are pissed off at the company or store policy, but very few customers have personally insulted me.
Tiffany, 19
Back in secondary school, my best friend was the popular girl in school so all the guys were chasing her. One of them, in a failed bid to impress my friend, made a comment about how my nostril was so big he could fit his dick in it. I snapped back that it was because his dick was so small. However, I cried when I went back home.
Elizabeth, 22
When I was 14 years old, I was excited to sit in front of my crush in class. But as the teacher was writing the answers on the whiteboard during one science lesson, he rudely asked me to “move la, Pepita” as I was apparently blocking his view. I wasn’t gonna let him boss me around like that so I told him “Why not you move, you ass”. He shot back and said, “Please la, you’re so fat you cover the whole whiteboard”. That made me self-conscious because I was slightly chubby then. Because of that, I started dieting and lost an unhealthy 14kg in a year.
Pepita, 21
One time, I was talking to a friend’s friend and we got quite close. After meeting a few times, I went over to his place for a movie date. One thing led to another and we started making out. After five minutes, he pushed me away and said that he had committed a sin, and basically called me a slut.
Nicole, 19
When I was six (yes, boys start their reign of terror young), this boy named Jordan hated me for no reason—while he had the biggest crush on my best friend. One day, when I went to the toilet to wash my hands, I saw him with his posse of boys. He looked at me, laughed, and told them, “Eee, this girl lousy one.” He proceeded to flick water at me, laugh, and run out of the toilet.
Jiaying, 19
I broke off the engagement with my fiance of 7 years after we had a physical fight once, during the year we were supposed to get married. The dealbreaker was when he said, “don’t think I don’t dare to hit you when we move into our new place.”
Lisa, 30
As a person who was ostracised and bullied for being chubby at a young age, I’ve been the recipient of quite a few snarky comments, but the worst by far was during Primary 6. A group of boys started calling me “Mountain Gorilla”, as a testament to how “fat and hairy” I was. As a 12-year-old girl, this was a particularly painful experience, but joke’s on them as I began losing weight that year. Thanks, puberty!
Jenn, 19
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I had an ex who loved to piss me off. While we were arguing one day, he told me that his ex was better than me and that she made him happier than I ever could. That obviously didn’t end well.
Kathleen, 24
When I rejected a guy, he made me sit with him for two hours and fetch him toilet paper while he cried for the entire time. But that’s not all. While crying, he said, “To be honest, you’re not even pretty. Also, your best friend doesn’t like you, she’s just using you. She only hangs out with you because you don’t study law so you’re not a threat to her. And your thighs are fat.” Not sure why I kept sitting there in hindsight—perhaps I felt bad that he needed to target my insecurities to make himself feel better.
Keira, 24
I met my ex-boyfriend in JC and we had been dating for close to 2 years until he decided to break up while he was in the army. We broke up over a series of texts and the most hurtful thing he said was, “It’s not that I don’t like you. I still like you, I still care about you. But you’re no longer a priority.”
Shanae, 19
I was preparing for an interview for a really prestigious internship that this guy and I both applied for, but I’d gotten an interview and he hadn’t. He was really disappointed, but he said he would still be supportive and would help me prep for it, which was great because I needed extra help in understanding some areas I knew he was good at. Two questions in, he deemed me too stupid and questioned my intellectual capabilities repeatedly— “Why are you trying to do this when you don’t even know the simplest of things?” and wow boy bye.
Bianca, 19
A guy once told me that no one will ever be with me because I’m too assertive and hence, scary. I guess I can see why; I stick to my beliefs and don’t back down easily. But hey! First of all, I didn’t ask you for your opinion and neither did I ask you to date me, I’m not that desperate; and second of all, thanks for the backhanded compliment.
Nadine, 19
“You’re the brawns and I’m the brains.” I never took offence to his tragic attempt at flirty banter. In retrospect, maybe it was my spring formal dress (which I now reserve for club nights) which was way too tight and inappropriate for a school event, that accentuated my naturally muscular arms. Either way, it still antagonises the nerd in me, compounded with his “I need to focus on studying” excuse when we decided to break up. But all is forgiven since I scored higher than him in IB.
Jamie, 19
While there’s no shortage of mean people of both genders, remember that no one can hurt your feelings unless you let them. We’ve all dealt with immature boys but that’s how we know who the real good guys are.
This post was first published on 3 April 2017 and last updated on 4 October 2023.
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