Being A Singaporean Single

From movies like The 40-Year-Old Virgin to being asked endless questions of “why you no boyfriend yet?”, being single is often seen as something undesired.

Additionally, the number of dating apps available today suggest we should search for partners. But is having a romantic partner a choice or an option?

We asked these 15 single Singaporean Millennials, and they gave us their honest reasons why they’re still #foreveralone.

1. I don’t know how to talk to the opposite sex

I have trouble communicating with females in general. Dating apps have helped tremendously, but I still go into a complete meltdown when we meet in real life.

It’s a shame because on Tinder we’d have great chemistry, but I’ll become really quiet on dates, and the girl never calls me back after.
Timothy, 22

2. My social circle is mostly women

For 10 years, I studied in an all-girls school. And when I went to JC and then university, I only hung out with girls. It wasn’t a deliberate choice, I just happened to get along with girls better.

I’ve tried widening my social circle to include more guys, hoping there’s a chance to find someone but 9 out of 10 times, the guys turn out to be gay.
Jasmine, 23

3. I’m recovering from a divorce

My ex-husband and I dated for five years before we got married at 23. Our marriage only lasted for two years before we called it quits.

When you go through something as heartbreaking as a divorce, it’s difficult to put yourself out there and start again. I’m just taking time to find and love myself before committing to another person.
Evelyn, 26

4. I’m too lazy to try

Let’s just say I’m single because I’m in a relationship with my bed. Literally, I’m that person who prefers to ‘Netflix and chill’ than to go Zouk.

But if I’m honest, relationships require time and I’m just too lazy to put in the effort. I wouldn’t want to half-heartedly be in a relationship either because it wouldn’t be fair to the other person.
Robert, 23

5. I haven’t met the right one

It’s not that I don’t want to be in a relationship, I just haven’t found the person who makes me want to stay for the long run.

I’m not into casual dating either, so I guess I’m just waiting for the right person to come along.
Justin, 25

6. I’m single because of my child

When my boyfriend left me after he realised I was pregnant, I made a decision not to date anyone unless they can love and accept both me and my daughter.

There’s a huge risk that comes with letting a man in our lives. If my daughter grows attached to him and our relationship fails, she’ll have to feel the pain of abandonment, and that’s the last thing I want for her.
Golden, 26

7. I enjoy the freedom of it

Having been in three serious relationships before, this is the first time I’ve been on my own in years. I gotta say I’m loving the freedom of it.

No one to answer to, no gifts to think about during anniversaries, and no extended family to impress. I miss having a partner at times, but for now, I’m enjoying my bachelor life.
Pat, 29

Also read:

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8. I’m too mature for guys my age

I’m 23 and I want to settle down. But most guys I meet around my age aren’t on the same page. They’re mostly into hook-ups and keeping things “light and breezy”, which isn’t what I’m looking for.

I’ve tried dating older guys but I find it hard to overcome the age gap.
Jane, 23

9. I can’t read signals

I’m really oblivious when it comes to dating and I’ve had several missed opportunities. I won’t notice a girl flirting with me unless she outrightly tells me so.

My friends only tell me after she’s no longer interested, and all I can respond with, is a “What? I thought she was being friendly?!”
Jaden, 24

10. I always get bro-zoned

I’m a bit of a tomboy so I naturally get along with guys better. Unfortunately, I grow so close to them that I become ‘one of the guys’.

When I do develop feelings for someone, I’m usually given the response of “Ew but you’re like my bro”. It’s disheartening because I want to date someone but I’m not seen as feminine enough to be ‘girlfriend material’.
Alexine, 21

11. I’m committed to my job

As someone who’s just landed her dream job at a publishing firm, most of my time is spent working and trying to get better at my job.

As much as I want to be in a committed relationship, I can’t afford the time to date because of how busy I am.

Maybe in the future when things are more stable I’ll probably get on the dating bandwagon again. But for now, I’m married to my job and I love it.
Ying, 25

12. I have a fear of opening up to others

I have issues with letting people into my life because I’m afraid of them running away when they see how messed up I am. I mean, I have depression and anxiety and I go for counselling once a fortnight.

I don’t think these qualities would make anyone want to stay. Until I’ve sorted myself out, I’m just going to casually date and stay single.
Rebecca, 23

13. I move around often

I’m single because of who I am as a person. I can’t stand the thought of staying in one place for more than three months. I like travelling and seeing what the world has to offer.

I suppose it’s due to this reason I’m not in a relationship. Because every time I meet someone who could be my other half, I don’t put in the effort required to maintain the relationship because I know I’m going to take off again.
Jackson, 27

14. I enjoy dating different people

Thanks to dating apps, I often go on dates with people from all walks of life. I love the thrill of a first date, and I don’t think I could get used to dating just one person.

If I were to commit myself to an exclusive relationship, I doubt I’d be happy for long. I’m just not ready to settle down with just one person yet.
Fay, 25

15. Dating is expensive

As a guy, I feel obliged to pay for my dates and buy them gifts to express my interest. But the more I treat them, the bigger my expenses become.

I’m saving up to buy a car so I feel I don’t have the budget to take girls out anymore.
Tom, 28

Riding Solo

People are single for a variety reasons. Sometimes they’re committed to their jobs, or just plain bad at reading signals.

Still, it doesn’t mean singletons are always unhappy alone. So the next time you ask someone why they’re single, don’t automatically assume!

This article was first published on 12 December 2017 and last updated on 20 March 2024. 

Also read:

Here’s What Turning 30 Is Really Like, As Shared By A Single Female In Singapore