Stories of girls being cheated on might seem more common, but truth is, men get cheated on just the same. Here, we asked 10 Singaporean guys who were cheated on to share their experiences with us, and how they managed to move on.
Names were changed to protect some identities.
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“We were together for almost 5 years. I got down on one knee and she said ‘yes’ with tears in her eyes. I was looking forward to the best days of our lives to come. But months later, she started distancing herself from me. She’d laugh to her phone, but brush it off whenever I asked who it was, always saying it was a colleague. One day, my friend saw her with another guy and he called me. So I went over and followed them. They were headed towards Hotel 81 when I confronted her, and broke it off there and then. A couple of bad months followed before I met my current wife.”
Azri, 35
“I met her through a mutual friend and we clicked so we exchanged numbers. But I didn’t know she was still attached at that point of time. I only found out through our mutual friend when I asked him how he knew her. I asked her about it, and she said she was going to end things with him, telling me stories of how he was never on the same page as her. A few months later, she broke up with him and we got together. But 2 months later, when I went over to her place, I caught her in bed with her ex. I flipped shit—could’ve created a murder scene right there. But I told her I never wanted to see her again, and left the country to work in Dubai for a while. When I came back, our mutual friend said she got dumped by her ex. So that meant when we got together, they never actually broke up.”
Joel, 28
“After getting out of an intense 3-year relationship, I was still a little unsure of what I wanted. But on my birthday, I told her I loved her and that I wanted to take things to the next level. She had to choose between me and another guy she was seeing. She chose me, but one month later I caught her kissing the other dude. I gave her a chance but she continued contacting him behind my back. At a party, she got drunk and slapped me in front of her friends, saying I wasn’t him. She nearly went overseas with him when I couldn’t take leave. Once, I checked her messages and saw them saying they loved each other. He called her wifey. I gave her another chance but she dumped me over text. She said she couldn’t handle my trust issues, and got together with him shortly after. I forgave her for that and I’m still hurting. But nah, I’ll pass on getting back with her if she ever wanted it.”
Kennedy, 27
“My girlfriend (then) slept with my best friend. Which is one of the worst feelings; to be betrayed by not 1, but 2, of the people you trust most. I always sensed something fishy, like she would keep asking about him and liking his Instagram photos, which I brushed off because I didn’t want to sound paranoid/petty. He was her go-to person whenever we had problems in our relationship, which was just a lame reason for her to talk to him. He broke the bro-code, but it was a good lesson for me to see their true colours. They said feelings can’t be controlled, but still, actions can. They should have come clean before they got physical.”
Clarence, 20
“I had her Twitter account on my phone so I got her message notifications. She was flirting with some guy she once mentioned was cute, telling him stuff like her boyfriend wasn’t “good” or “rich” enough. When I confronted her, she admitted she cheated, and things went downhill from there. She was my first love; it took me around 5 years to feel better. I’ve never felt so terrible, heartbroken or disappointed in my life, but I forgave her. After a while, she just became another stranger to me.”
Josh, 20
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“I got cheated on by my girlfriend when she was studying overseas. I had commitments in NS and couldn’t give her the attention, hence she felt like she had to get it from someone else. She told me about how she was tempted by another guy and cheated on me with him. I can’t forgive her because cheating is a breach of trust. But I overcame it by spending more time with my family and brothers in army who supported me a lot, and I’m so thankful for them.”
Ng, 20
“This girl I was seeing while I was in NS wasn’t mentally in our relationship. She wasn’t over her ex, and when I was in camp she’d text him for emotional support. At the time he was in Canada, but he came back. They were in the same church, and she started dressing better and got excited when she thought he was around. I ended things with her and they got back together after. It really sucked having to live behind someone else’s shadow, you know?”
Yue Ming, 25
‘I was with this girl who went on a 3-month exchange programme in Birmingham, UK. Out of nowhere, she told me she needed a break. I was really confused and booked a flight to Birmingham. Two days later, she told me it was over before I could even board the plane. I tried to find out why and talk about it. I mean, we had plans for the future and I couldn’t believe someone could just drop everything in a second. But the next thing I know, bam, she’s posting pictures with some other dude. It was tough but it’s okay—I learnt some lessons, saved some money, and now my love life’s back on track.”
Keith, 25
“I was in an LDR in poly. She went to Australia to study and shared a room with one of our mutual friends. I only found out after we broke up that she was cheating on me the whole time. We were always fighting over Skype, and there were so many double standards. She was so controlling, always expecting me to tell her if I go out partying. But in reality, she was the one who was sleeping around like crazy overseas. I found out because that roommate was telling all my friends about her multiple one night stands. But I was pretty over our relationship by the time we’d broken up.”
Hasaan, 25
“I’ve only been in one serious relationship. We weren’t in the same poly so meeting up became more difficult. She was constantly around this guy from her CCA who had liked her since year one in poly. Then when I was overseas, she slept with him. She came clean, but at that moment it was just a void in my mind. I figured if her heart wasn’t with me, there’d be no point trying. I swept it under the rug, but it hit me later when I rekindled old flames by talking to her. Luckily my best friend talked some sense into me; he saved me from making a huge mistake. I’ve learnt a great deal, and have matured since. Let bygones be bygones.”
Eugene, 24
It’s hard to deal with a betrayal like having your significant other cheat on you and demean the relationship you two shared. But if we can take away anything from the stories shared by these Singaporean guys who were cheated on, it’s that time can heal wounds. Even if it takes a while.
This article was first published on 23 January 2017 and last updated on 22 October 2023.
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