Girls Making First Moves
Why are men responsible for pursuing women? Well if it’s because of social norms, then screw the patriarchy!
Although some girls were led to heartbreak and awkwardness after making the first move, others went in for the kill and succeeded in getting the man of their dreams.
“How’s my #OOTD?”
I met my fiancé, Marc, on a reality TV singing competition (The Final One, 2013). All the contestants were in the same group chat so that’s how I got his number.
I was too shy to talk to him in person so even when he came up to me, I would stay silent and walk away. However, I started to text him in a private chat about music matters and being hiao (vain), I’d show him my outfit of the day to ask if it looked okay. Eventually, we found common topics to talk about and progressed into a relationship.
Hashy Yusof, 23
“I held his hand.”
He was sending me home one day when our hands brushed against each others’. Although we had been friends for some time, things felt different all of a sudden.
So I kinda made the first move and held his hand. We didn’t say much afterwards, he gave my hand a slight squeeze and we both just knew.
“I told him and then… I cried.”
We met in Junior College and became best friends. But over time, I started to develop feelings for him. One day, I asked him to meet me outside his house so we could take a walk around the playground.
I think he saw it coming tbh but he didn’t mention anything. So we sat at the playground and I confessed my feelings to him. And then… I cried—while he sat in silence. He wasn’t sure if he liked me back then, but after some time we ended up getting together.
“I was playing Truth or Dare.”
We were texting each other as per normal, talking about the Truth or Dare game I had played with some friends earlier. He asked me about the questions that were asked during the game and came to one that was “Who is the person you like?”. I was reluctant to tell him my answer. Of course lah, how awkward right? But I did say I liked someone.
He became very curious and persistent, something uncharacteristic of him because he’s usually very accommodating if there’s something I don’t wish to talk about. After awhile, I gave in and confessed because I had a sudden courage and desire to do so. Then he told me he was going to confess to me when we were going out to cycle the coming weekend.
“You’re not allowed to talk for the next 10 mins!”
We were texting buddies for about a year but I avoided him in school, which made it awkward between us in real life.
One day, I couldn’t take it anymore so I went to my garden to think about what to say to him. I walked round after round and finally mustered up the courage to text him if he was free to talk. I called him and immediately told him that he wasn’t allowed to talk for the next 10 minutes. After taking in a deep breath, I proceeded to tell him about my feelings.
It went something along the lines of, “I know you don’t like me but my feelings have gotten too strong to the point that I have to say I like you”. Then I was so embarrassed I told him, “Okay I’m gonna hang up now.” But before I did, he said, “Don’t hang up… don’t you know my feelings for you or are you dumb???”
“Do like coffee with milk or coffee with me?”
For me, whenever I really like the guy, I make the first move. I don’t wait around because I don’t see a point behind it. So back when we were in school, this guy I liked passed me a bottle of Pokka milk tea to me one day. He asked me, “Do you like tea with milk or tea with me,” as a joke.
But since I liked him, a few days later I bought Pokka coffee and gave it to him asking, “Do you like coffee with milk or coffee with me?”. That’s how we started dating.
Hui Zhi, 19
“I asked him out on Skype.”
I was in the 7th grade and had a mad crush on this tall, blonde-haired blue-eyed boy in the same class as me. One day when we were just talking on Skype, it took all my courage to ask him out AND I DID!
I guess he was trying to play it cool because he told me to give him some time to think about it. The next day at school, I was super nervous; we didn’t even talk when I saw him at lunch. But that night, we Skyped again and he said “Yes!”
We “dated” but didn’t do jack shit for 2 months and he broke up with me before moving back to New York so that was the story of my very first heartbreak too.
“You feel it too right?”
We were just talking in our classroom at first. And then suddenly, something clicked and we both went silent. He told me very shyly, “Actually, I’ve been meaning to tell you this. But, you feel it too right?”
I saw it coming for some time so I made the first move and went, “Yeah, let’s just give it a shot and see how it goes.” #nosweat
“I wanted to be professional and send her an email.”
I was hit on by a girl at Starbucks. I was writing a play on my laptop when I felt someone tap my shoulder. This random girl came up to me and said I had dropped my bag. Although I had intentionally placed my bag on the floor, I wanted to be polite and said thanks.
A few minutes later, I took something out of my bag and placed it on the floor again. She came back to tell me that I’d dropped my bag for the second time. I was no longer in the mood to repeat myself and told her straight, “No, I just left it there.” Anyone would’ve thought that was the end of it but nOooOo.
She started to probe me on what I was doing (writing a play) and asked if she could read it (no). I was obviously uninterested.
She continued to bug me and offered to give me her number so I could text her once it’s done (what even?!). I relented and said that if she really wanted it, I’d be “professional” and send it via email… but I never did.
“She dedicated a song to me.”
In secondary school, a girl who liked me walked up to a guest DJ who was spinning at a school event and made him announce the song she had dedicated to me. I ran away because I was young and scared. On another occasion, I casually mentioned that my hair was dry and within a few days, she gave me a conditioner she shipped in from Korea.
“He was such a sloppy kisser.”
I was hanging out with this guy who was interested in me but was taking my time because I didn’t want any labels—especially when I was unsure of how well we would be together. But I’m also the kind who knows what she wants.
We clubbed at Zouk but I think guys generally can’t tell when you like them, even when you’re alone together. So I went for it and kissed him first. Even though he had been with many girls, OH MY GOODNESS he was such a sloppy kisser and I was immediately turned off. But it’s okay, I led him on the right track and we had a fun run.
“Within 30 seconds she kissed me.”
When I was 18 years old, I went to a club and bumped into this girl. I looked at her in the eyes and she came forward to kiss me before I could even get to know her name. Yes. No joke. We literally saw each other for only 30 seconds. I got her number and eventually started dating. You can say I was #irresistible.
“I decided to take matters into my own hands.”
We’d been going out to see movies every weekend for slightly over a month and ended up holding hands. Nothing happened beyond that and we were “just friends”. But few days before my birthday, we went out for an entire day and began acting like a “couple”.
At the end of the night, while cuddling on a roof, he looked at me and asked, “so what are we?” like the dumb boy he was. I decided to take matters into my own hands and leaned in to kiss him.
Dating Singaporean Men
Every relationship is a gamble. Sure, taking charge might lead to disastrous consequences or plain humiliation, but if you feel it’s right, trust your gut and go for it gurl.
Cover image: Source