Being LGBT+ in Singapore is not a walk in the (Hong Lim) park. Unless you have the confidence of Beyonce, much of your adolescence would’ve been spent in the closet.
From the fear of coming out to trying to find love, we talked to 17 LGBT Singaporeans on their struggles and experiences growing up queer.
*Some names were changed to protect identities
Contents
Being genderfluid, I dress in a pretty androgynous manner. Because of this, I’ve been scolded by aunties on more than one occasion, “Ah boy ah, why you go to girls toilet?”
Ash, 21, genderfluid
But never drama club, because that would be too obvious.
Joshua, 25, gay
In my boys’ school, I did traditionally masculine things such as roughhousing and playing football, even though I hated sports. I was just trying to cover up the fact I was gay by being extra masculine.
Ryan, 21, gay
I overcompensated for my attraction to girls by constantly talking about being thirsty for boys. It worked a little too well, and I ended up with a fake reputation as the school slut.
Jennifer, 20, lesbian
I went to an all-girls school, where everyone was touchy, always holding hands, hugging and leaning on each other. But I, on the other hand, was always standoffish because I was worried what others might think if they knew I wasn’t straight.
Emily, 19, bi
In secondary school, I was so excited when I heard rumours about a girl in my level being a lesbian. I was in the closet, had no queer friends and wanted someone I could relate to. One year later, she was my first girlfriend and first love.
Sarah, 20, bi
Dodging cameras be like:
For nine years. Clearly, it wasn’t a phase.
Jes, 22, bi
Allie, 21, pan
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Edmund, 21, bi
My girlfriend and I get disapproving looks whenever we go out, which we’re used to by now. In our first year of dating in Sec 4, we passed another queer couple holding hands, and shared with them smiles of encouragement.
Alison, 18, queer
It’s called being bisexual for a reason.
Dana, 19, bi
I had just come to terms with my identity as a lesbian and felt like I had to dress the part for the world to know. So I stopped wearing dresses and makeup and donned short hair, flannels, and snapbacks.
I hated it, and am much happier now as a femme lesbian. Still, hearing “but you don’t look gay” is exhausting.
Kelly, 21, lesbian
It didn’t work.
Daniel, 25, gay
After years of lying to friends and to yourself, you chose to stop living in fear.
You realise you have nothing to be ashamed of, and anyone who judges you isn’t worth your time anyway. And suddenly, everything starts getting better from there.
If you’re a queer kid and you relate a little too much, hang in there. If there’s one thing I’ve learnt from my hot queer mess of adolescence, it’s that it really does get better.
Cover image credits: Rachel Ng
This article was first published on 20 July 2018 and last updated on 21 April 2024.
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