Dating Deal Breakers
*Some names were changed to protect identities
Imagine this: you go out with a cute girl and think the date went well. But when you send a follow-up text the next day, she ghosts you, never to be heard from again. You’ve probably committed a dating deal breaker.
Like relationship deal breakers, dating deal breakers are the little red flags girls watch out for during the ‘get-to-know-each-other’ stage. They’re what ladies use to decide if they’d like to go on a second date or commit to a more serious relationship.
So to help guys out there to improve their dating game, we asked these girls their biggest dating no-nos.
Guys who can’t shut up about themselves
I went out with this guy who couldn’t shut up about himself. The worst part was he kept making jokes about us having sex. It got so bad I made my friend call me and pretend it was my mum so I could leave.
Obviously, don’t be talking about yourself all the time. The girl’s there to get to know you but she needs some attention too. Make the effort to listen to what’s she saying and don’t feign interest until it’s your turn to speak.
I absolutely cannot stand when my date talks over me because it shows he doesn’t value my opinions.
My biggest deal breaker is when guys humblebrag. They’ll tend to steer the conversation back to themselves, their achievements, job, or salary.
I get you wanna impress a girl, but by only talking about yourself, you look like a self-centred douchebag. So guys, when you take a girl on a date, ask about her and don’t compare.
If I say I’m broke, don’t respond with a “Yeah you should find a ‘better’ job.”
Guys who guilt trip girls into spending time with them
My biggest dating deal breaker is when a guy emotionally blackmails me into giving him what he wants. Like if I cancel on you a few days before we’re supposed to meet, don’t be spiteful and say “y’know I already booked the place”.
I know it stings when someone doesn’t reply promptly or when they cancel plans, but there’s always another day. Just explain you miss them and want to hang out. Don’t get passive-aggressive.
Yoke Cheng, 21
Guys who take too many shirtless pics
I don’t like guys who take many shirtless pics of themselves. There’s nothing wrong with being proud of your body, but I think having too many pics is indicative of narcissism.
Guys who are sexist/racist/homophobic
My most important filter is not dating guys who are sexist, racist, and homophobic. Usually these guys still think “make me a sandwich jokes” are funny and follow with “chill ah it’s a joke”.
Not only is it unpleasant to be around them, but also it shows they aren’t introspective. If they’ve never questioned “Is it right for me to think like that?” or attempted to correct their behaviours, they tend to be narrow-minded, emotionally-stunted assholes. Hard pass.
Guys who get serious too fast
Unless we are in a committed relationship, I don’t see ‘us’ as a priority yet. When you expect me to spend a lot of time with you before we’re official, it makes me wonder how clingy you’re gonna be if we get serious.
When dating, follow the flow and be realistic. Going on five dates with a girl doesn’t mean you guys are officially together.
Guys who treat service staff poorly
Being rude or particularly inconsiderate to service staff because he thinks it’s their job to put up with his shit. It’s a turn off if he thinks he’s entitled to good service without being a good customer.
After working in F&B for several years, I think such behaviour says a lot about a person’s social awareness. It’s embarrassing, not to mention unpleasant, to be around people like that.
Guys who are rude to their family
Someone who is rude to his parents or siblings is a no-no for me. It could be talking back or arguing over the phone when all they were asked was, “Are you coming home for dinner?”
If you can’t be kind to those who’ve brought you up with care and concern, how would treat a complete stranger?
Even if he doesn’t have a close relationship with his family, him making an effort to be nice is a good sign because it shows he isn’t a person to give up on others.
Guys who are unkind to others
When guys are unkind, talk shit about their enemies, or talk down to people, it’s over no matter how nicely they treat me.
It’s normal to have enemies, but how you deal with them reflects a lot about your character. Saying someone is a “f**king idiot” versus “she really pissed me off” is completely different. If you are mean, I can’t help but think you are capable of talking to me like that too.
Guys who are bad at texting
I think the lack of communication is the worst. I feel girls are more emotional to some extent; we usually initiate dates and conversations. But if I date a guy who doesn’t like to text or talk much, it’s like: do I know him well enough to date him?
Guys who are indecisive about where the relationship is going
Showing a lack of interest by not replying for days or being indecisive of what direction he wants to take the relationship to are deal breakers.
As a girl with a history of having horrible taste in guys, it’s all about taking a step back and knowing what you deserve. The bad boy act gets so old, so fast.
If you’re gonna be in a relationship with someone, he should make you feel significant and valued.
When he keeps his options open and meets new girls when we’ve been dating for a while. Shows he’s not really interested and is just dating me till he finds someone ‘better’.
If you’re not ready to date, be clear about it from the start.
Guys who over-compliment
A compliment or two is fine but when guys excessively sweet-talk me, it makes me very uncomfortable. 9 out of 10 times, he’s probably experienced with girls and says nice things for the sake of it.
Guys who fake being woke
Recently, I encountered a guy who seemed ‘woke’ and was all like “I won’t do things that girls are uncomfortable with” and “girls have it harder so I won’t be a dick”.
But as the date progressed, he kept suggesting we should hold hands, spoon, and ‘Netflix and Chill’ to the point I just wanted him to shut up.
At first, I thought I was the one being weird. But then I heard from friends he imposes a lot on his other dates. Please don’t pretend to be woke.
Dating In Singapore
From having their date ‘forget’ their wallets to being asked to have sex in a restaurant toilet, we’ve heard our fair share of dating horror stories. Hopefully, you lads will now know what to look out for so you won’t make the same dating boo-boos.